Around the Ringstrasse in Vienna that is, dear Readers. Year after year the closing of the Vindobona Hash year is symbolized by and celebrated with partaking at the Silvesterlauf from a local serious running club. The trail leads around the wonderful Wiener Ringstrasse on a length of 5,3 kilometres and, after a few pull back and forth on the climbing rope years (which was and is always reliably provided by Mind the Gap), Cardinal Munk (OVH) cameth forth with declaring that "runners should take off from the Staatsoper building onwards". In reality that meant that those who wanted to run in half decency (JustIn Beaver, Kuty PI, Shake Rattle and Roll, yours truly, The Famous Pimpsqueak, Ice Queen and Slush Puppie) took off and enjoyed some running freedom that was unbeknownst from preceding years. When the self-declared runners crossed the finish line at least TFP and myself went back to help to "Nordic walkers"(Quote Richard Kopf (OVH) out by successfully pulling everyone onto the finish line and win a medal, yet again without paying the official LCC run fee of 25 Euros.
Circle was held outside Flanagans Irish Pub, garnished with Tasty Bloody Maries provided by the Cardinal and No Balls Prize. Festivities continued for hours inside the pub with a few late comers such as Victorias Secret, Rowed Runner and Deo. Lovely Guinness Beer and Fish and Chips rounded up the day, Moronic Pics to follow when they have been put up on the Photosite.
A very happy and healthy and Hashy New Year to all of you. May the beer be with you.
Short stories about the Vindobona Hash House Harriers and other things. Keep distance, wash hands, stay human!
Sunday, 31 December 2017
Saturday, 30 December 2017
There is a Dog
At the end of the Hashing one is tempted to look back (well, maybe some of you) and remember the funny and beer-filled times that running with the World's worst can bring. Do come back for more and help me rally for an increase of the Hash Fee ;-)
At the end of a dogs life it is time to reflect about all the joy that Hash Hounds can bring to this geriatric group. A special and loving mention goes out to the late Circle Jerk who passed away a few weeks ago and for years was an integral part of our Hash group. In the glorious year of 2007 on the occasion of our 25th anniversary with the Vienna Pipers blowing away the carpark of the Grüß-Di-A Gott Wirt it was the heroic deed of the Blessed Saint Norman (OVH) who set out in the dark forest to look for Circle Jerk who'd gone astray/ran off in fear of the sort of fireworks and brought the dog back in the pitch darkness. God knows how the two had found each other. Another special and loving mention goes out to a couple of other great former Hash Hounds, namely the late Price Pisser and the late YAP YAP Otto von Pissmarck. Not to forget those who still run with us, namely Just Villja, Just Billy, Just Lucky and Just Fintan (poor unnamed dogs). Dogs are great companions and yes, they do drink beer.
Here is a repost of a dog-related anthem.
At the end of a dogs life it is time to reflect about all the joy that Hash Hounds can bring to this geriatric group. A special and loving mention goes out to the late Circle Jerk who passed away a few weeks ago and for years was an integral part of our Hash group. In the glorious year of 2007 on the occasion of our 25th anniversary with the Vienna Pipers blowing away the carpark of the Grüß-Di-A Gott Wirt it was the heroic deed of the Blessed Saint Norman (OVH) who set out in the dark forest to look for Circle Jerk who'd gone astray/ran off in fear of the sort of fireworks and brought the dog back in the pitch darkness. God knows how the two had found each other. Another special and loving mention goes out to a couple of other great former Hash Hounds, namely the late Price Pisser and the late YAP YAP Otto von Pissmarck. Not to forget those who still run with us, namely Just Villja, Just Billy, Just Lucky and Just Fintan (poor unnamed dogs). Dogs are great companions and yes, they do drink beer.
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| The late Circle Jerk |
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| Another pic of the late Circle Jerk |
Here is a repost of a dog-related anthem.
Tuesday, 26 December 2017
Eurohash Run day, report of run # 8 (and a wee bit of # 7)
This miniseries of run reports brings me to the one (acually two) which Casting Couch, Two Bob, Slush Puppie, Cardinal Munk (OVH), yours truly and some nice guy from Munich (of course he was a scot but I could be wrong) did reccie in our own backyard that is the Thermenregion, here consisting of the in betweens of Pfaffstätten, Gumpoldskirchen and Mödling. And that modest elevation which we refer to as our "Hausberg" of 640 metres altitude, the Anninger.
The carried out plan saw an 11 k run # 7 (I loved the motto that was pinned on the bus windscreen "Easy Does It", which is a wonderful song by Supertramp and a slightly longer trail leading up to the top of the Anninger and then back downhill to the spacious carpark of the Richardshof restaurant where the beer buses were waiting. Needless to say that this was another very hot day and I liked the fact that the three buses that were alloted to our runs parked in three different and nearby parking lots.
After short prerun explanations it was on off into the vineyards and futher on to some not so sunbaked running terrain that offered some spectacular views, lots of pics were taken and after a bit more than an hour it was beer stop time with cooled Ottakringer and plenty of softies and snacks. Word arrived that a Harriette had twisted her ankle (she actually broke it) so S.Energy, who came by to visit and myself went back to were we assumed where Cardinal Munk (OVH ) who acted as the run sweeper, the former Danish Harriette who ran with the Worlds Worst (and of course I can't recall her name) and poor Fruit Manager. Limping along slowly and very delicate we eventually arrived at the upper end of Gumpoldsirchen so an ambulance could be called and two brave ambulancemen arrived with an enormous wheelchair (look up a post from July called "Eurohash revisited" to see a pic). When poor Fruit Manager was wheeled downhill to the parked ambulance (the hill was way too steep for them to drive up) she could be taken to Baden hospital. S. Energy drove down to help her out with translation, waited since the plaster on her foot was ready and took her home to our place where King Ralph, on his way back from the Semmering runs, picked her up and took her back to her hotel in Vienna. Thank you S. Energy who was not even a runner but just a beer stop visitor.
The rest of the runs? Well, all 150 or so Hashers seemed to have arrived at the meadow near the carpark at Goldene Stiege in Möding, a massive thunderstorm came and went, Lord Glo Balls (OVH) rescued the rescuers after the ambulance intermezzo from a carpark in Gumpoldskirchen and seeing those three massive buses n a relatively small carpark was quite a sight.
When the circle ended also my share of Eurohash ended. I heard stories about more partying on Saturday night, a hangover walk on Sunday and again I was and still am amazed that we as the Vindobona Hash managed to see all this through. Thank you to each and all, the organsizers and above all the visitors.
OnOn
via GIPHY
The carried out plan saw an 11 k run # 7 (I loved the motto that was pinned on the bus windscreen "Easy Does It", which is a wonderful song by Supertramp and a slightly longer trail leading up to the top of the Anninger and then back downhill to the spacious carpark of the Richardshof restaurant where the beer buses were waiting. Needless to say that this was another very hot day and I liked the fact that the three buses that were alloted to our runs parked in three different and nearby parking lots.
After short prerun explanations it was on off into the vineyards and futher on to some not so sunbaked running terrain that offered some spectacular views, lots of pics were taken and after a bit more than an hour it was beer stop time with cooled Ottakringer and plenty of softies and snacks. Word arrived that a Harriette had twisted her ankle (she actually broke it) so S.Energy, who came by to visit and myself went back to were we assumed where Cardinal Munk (OVH ) who acted as the run sweeper, the former Danish Harriette who ran with the Worlds Worst (and of course I can't recall her name) and poor Fruit Manager. Limping along slowly and very delicate we eventually arrived at the upper end of Gumpoldsirchen so an ambulance could be called and two brave ambulancemen arrived with an enormous wheelchair (look up a post from July called "Eurohash revisited" to see a pic). When poor Fruit Manager was wheeled downhill to the parked ambulance (the hill was way too steep for them to drive up) she could be taken to Baden hospital. S. Energy drove down to help her out with translation, waited since the plaster on her foot was ready and took her home to our place where King Ralph, on his way back from the Semmering runs, picked her up and took her back to her hotel in Vienna. Thank you S. Energy who was not even a runner but just a beer stop visitor.
The rest of the runs? Well, all 150 or so Hashers seemed to have arrived at the meadow near the carpark at Goldene Stiege in Möding, a massive thunderstorm came and went, Lord Glo Balls (OVH) rescued the rescuers after the ambulance intermezzo from a carpark in Gumpoldskirchen and seeing those three massive buses n a relatively small carpark was quite a sight.
When the circle ended also my share of Eurohash ended. I heard stories about more partying on Saturday night, a hangover walk on Sunday and again I was and still am amazed that we as the Vindobona Hash managed to see all this through. Thank you to each and all, the organsizers and above all the visitors.
OnOn
Eurohash Run day, report of run # 2
Still continuing further on, here is a short and concise report of run # 2, done by the Blessed Saint Norman (OVH):
Our bus started promptly but there was a bridge which was too low for our double decker. So we had to start from a different point and hares had to rush off to set a new trail start. Their new trail involved going downhill on your backside . The walkers I took using a combination of preset trails so they were ok.
At the beerstop waited ages for runners and eventually carried on to the brewery. We were allowed 3 beers but some hashers could not count. Anyway great beer. Now it hammered with rain. The first batch of hashers had already left the brewery and were stranded in the bus.
Anyway eventually stopped raining so we left the brewery for lunch. I found out that we had no wine on board so got some at the pizzeria. Then found out the spareribs overslept and arrived by taxi. So we ran out of food also and again got something at the pizzeria . Oral s? got lost coming along a straight road from the pizzeria so we had to search for her.
Now getting very late so we couldn't have the circle at the planned place and went back to the venue for the circle,
Quite an adventure but all were happy ... PROBABLY THE BEER!
On on
Our bus started promptly but there was a bridge which was too low for our double decker. So we had to start from a different point and hares had to rush off to set a new trail start. Their new trail involved going downhill on your backside . The walkers I took using a combination of preset trails so they were ok.
At the beerstop waited ages for runners and eventually carried on to the brewery. We were allowed 3 beers but some hashers could not count. Anyway great beer. Now it hammered with rain. The first batch of hashers had already left the brewery and were stranded in the bus.
Anyway eventually stopped raining so we left the brewery for lunch. I found out that we had no wine on board so got some at the pizzeria. Then found out the spareribs overslept and arrived by taxi. So we ran out of food also and again got something at the pizzeria . Oral s? got lost coming along a straight road from the pizzeria so we had to search for her.
Now getting very late so we couldn't have the circle at the planned place and went back to the venue for the circle,
Quite an adventure but all were happy ... PROBABLY THE BEER!
On on
Eurohash Run day, report of run # 10
With the competent assistance by a bottle of cool Schremser Bier, I will follow up with the report of Eurohash run # 10, done by Wayne Fecksky. Here we go:
Eurohash 2017 – Run Number 10
Lobau Run
The Lobau Run is also known as the “last resort run” or the “I’d rather drink run” or the “I slept in run” or the “I’m too hungover run”. You guessed it, it’s the run for those that couldn’t get on the bus that they wanted or slept in or wanted a real easy short run. The Wankers run!
However, No Mercy Mistress lived up to her name and, assisted by Lucky Me and Wayne Fuckski, set a trail to challenge and impose punishment on those accustomed to or wanting a half a kilometer run.
The event started with the Hares trying to round up the stragglers in order to count how many public transit tickets were needed. That’s right, public transit was the deemed mode of transportation as punishment for these wankers. But trying to round up this group was like trying to herd cats. Fortunately, by the time all were rounded up for the count, an extra bus arrived, like magic. Yeah!!! Hail King Ralph! Long live the King! This last minute change was most appreciated by the Hares as well as the Wankers!
Now that we had a bus, we needed a bus manager. The injured Lucky Me stepped in and took over as bus manager. Lucky for us, Lucky Me had helped set the trail the day before and knew exactly where the bus needed to be for the beer stop and the circle. But this meant that we needed a replacement on the trail for Lucky Me. So MoM was recruited to help out. MoM was to be the sweeper.
After making sure that there was enough beer and food on the magic bus, we happily boarded and headed to our starting point near the U2 Stadlau station! Minutes after leaving the Eurohash venue, I received a phone call from the one and only Multiple Entry! “I’ve got someone who slept in and he wants to join your run. Where are you?”. “We’re on the bus on our way to the starting point” I responded. Luckily for the sleepy Jelly Belly, he was staying near a U2 station. He was given instructions on where to go and told “good luck!”.
We were nearing our destination when a small problem arose. The road ahead had an underpass and it looked like the bus might be too high to pass under. Our expert driver crept very slowly under the underpass. Suddenly I heard a grinding noise! The driver stopped. We all listened. It was a train passing overhead. Phew!!! The bus slowly cleared the underpass to the delight of all the Wankers. Shortly thereafter we reached our destination.
Following brief instructions we started our journey down the trail. This group was quite happy to walk on this bright, hot, sunny day. We can claim to have the youngest (2 kids) and oldest hashers in the group.
The first third of the run, now turned into a walk, took us through pathways used by horse riders. Watch your step!!! Some of the “deposits” gave a new meaning to “shitty trail”! We walked through a few parks and a residential area and reached a beer stop after 1.8 KM. As we turned the corner, many were happy to see the bus under a large weeping willow providing some much needed shade. The beer stop was at a picturesque pond with plenty of fish and a few ducks. Hashers were given the option to stay with the bus and ride the bus to the end point or continue on towards the Neu Donau.
After the beer stop, about three quarters of the group headed out walking along a scenic area of Lobau and then into a very nice residential area with beautiful homes and gardens. Finally we reached the Neu Donau and had a pleasant walk along the shore of the river. One Hasher took advantage of it and went for a swim! We lost a few Hashers when we went past a Gasthaus. A few went for beers others for ice cream. But all eventually caught up. Except for MoM the sweeper. I kept looking for him and wondered what had happened. I received a call from Lucky Me, the bus manager, telling me not to look for MoM. He was on the bus!
The last leg of the walk gave an option to cross over a bridge onto the Donauinsel and then back over onto another bridge to the mainland with an opportunity to watch the water-boarders demonstrating their skills on the Donau.
We finally reached our end point. That’s when I discovered that the bus could not make it to the circle. This time the problem was with an overpass. The bus was too heavy to cross the overpass. Thankfully, a few volunteers helped carry the very heavy beer bags and food to the circle.
Luckily, we had a few experienced Religious Advisors with us who took over the circle. Xyz from Perth did a wonderful job. We were also highly entertained by one Hasher in particular (sorry, I don’t remember his name) who had a wonderful singing voice and led us on many songs. Many down-downs were had with MoM doing an expert job at manning the down-down station. By this time, the skies were threatening and lightning could be seen in the distance. We boarded the magic bus once again and made our way back to the venue. Five minutes into our ride, the skies opened up! Once again we were entertained by the unknown virtuoso on our way back.
Oh yes….I almost forgot. Jelly Belly did catch up to us. Surprising, considering the pace of this Wankers run!
On On!!!
Eurohash 2017 – Run Number 10
Lobau Run
The Lobau Run is also known as the “last resort run” or the “I’d rather drink run” or the “I slept in run” or the “I’m too hungover run”. You guessed it, it’s the run for those that couldn’t get on the bus that they wanted or slept in or wanted a real easy short run. The Wankers run!
However, No Mercy Mistress lived up to her name and, assisted by Lucky Me and Wayne Fuckski, set a trail to challenge and impose punishment on those accustomed to or wanting a half a kilometer run.
The event started with the Hares trying to round up the stragglers in order to count how many public transit tickets were needed. That’s right, public transit was the deemed mode of transportation as punishment for these wankers. But trying to round up this group was like trying to herd cats. Fortunately, by the time all were rounded up for the count, an extra bus arrived, like magic. Yeah!!! Hail King Ralph! Long live the King! This last minute change was most appreciated by the Hares as well as the Wankers!
Now that we had a bus, we needed a bus manager. The injured Lucky Me stepped in and took over as bus manager. Lucky for us, Lucky Me had helped set the trail the day before and knew exactly where the bus needed to be for the beer stop and the circle. But this meant that we needed a replacement on the trail for Lucky Me. So MoM was recruited to help out. MoM was to be the sweeper.
After making sure that there was enough beer and food on the magic bus, we happily boarded and headed to our starting point near the U2 Stadlau station! Minutes after leaving the Eurohash venue, I received a phone call from the one and only Multiple Entry! “I’ve got someone who slept in and he wants to join your run. Where are you?”. “We’re on the bus on our way to the starting point” I responded. Luckily for the sleepy Jelly Belly, he was staying near a U2 station. He was given instructions on where to go and told “good luck!”.
We were nearing our destination when a small problem arose. The road ahead had an underpass and it looked like the bus might be too high to pass under. Our expert driver crept very slowly under the underpass. Suddenly I heard a grinding noise! The driver stopped. We all listened. It was a train passing overhead. Phew!!! The bus slowly cleared the underpass to the delight of all the Wankers. Shortly thereafter we reached our destination.
Following brief instructions we started our journey down the trail. This group was quite happy to walk on this bright, hot, sunny day. We can claim to have the youngest (2 kids) and oldest hashers in the group.
The first third of the run, now turned into a walk, took us through pathways used by horse riders. Watch your step!!! Some of the “deposits” gave a new meaning to “shitty trail”! We walked through a few parks and a residential area and reached a beer stop after 1.8 KM. As we turned the corner, many were happy to see the bus under a large weeping willow providing some much needed shade. The beer stop was at a picturesque pond with plenty of fish and a few ducks. Hashers were given the option to stay with the bus and ride the bus to the end point or continue on towards the Neu Donau.
After the beer stop, about three quarters of the group headed out walking along a scenic area of Lobau and then into a very nice residential area with beautiful homes and gardens. Finally we reached the Neu Donau and had a pleasant walk along the shore of the river. One Hasher took advantage of it and went for a swim! We lost a few Hashers when we went past a Gasthaus. A few went for beers others for ice cream. But all eventually caught up. Except for MoM the sweeper. I kept looking for him and wondered what had happened. I received a call from Lucky Me, the bus manager, telling me not to look for MoM. He was on the bus!
The last leg of the walk gave an option to cross over a bridge onto the Donauinsel and then back over onto another bridge to the mainland with an opportunity to watch the water-boarders demonstrating their skills on the Donau.
We finally reached our end point. That’s when I discovered that the bus could not make it to the circle. This time the problem was with an overpass. The bus was too heavy to cross the overpass. Thankfully, a few volunteers helped carry the very heavy beer bags and food to the circle.
Luckily, we had a few experienced Religious Advisors with us who took over the circle. Xyz from Perth did a wonderful job. We were also highly entertained by one Hasher in particular (sorry, I don’t remember his name) who had a wonderful singing voice and led us on many songs. Many down-downs were had with MoM doing an expert job at manning the down-down station. By this time, the skies were threatening and lightning could be seen in the distance. We boarded the magic bus once again and made our way back to the venue. Five minutes into our ride, the skies opened up! Once again we were entertained by the unknown virtuoso on our way back.
Oh yes….I almost forgot. Jelly Belly did catch up to us. Surprising, considering the pace of this Wankers run!
On On!!!
Eurohash Run day, Report of Ballbreaker run # 6
Saturday July the 8th, the day of the Eurohash runs. After a short delay of less than 6 months (remember, VDT, valuable drinking time) I am proudly presenting a few original run reports as I got them, done by the Hares of various runs themselves. My apologies to all the contributors of these reports for just putting them up now. A bottle of glorious Schremser Bier will be my assistant. No more gobbledigook, here is the report of run # 6, the Ball Breaker run, contributed by Mr. Pink:
While Vienna Hares MTG and Just in Beaver leisurely consumed their lavish breakfasts of beluga caviar, champagne, diamonds and whatever else it is the Austrian pension system buys its retirees every week, foreign Hare Sloppy Stool was rising from his night's accommodation beneath a disheveled bush in an unspecified 10th District park and in Bratislava Mr. Pink was looking at his sirening alarm clock with confusion, trying for all the world to establish just exactly what an hour starting with a zero actually is.
via GIPHY
Once finally vertical, Pink joined the throngs of Slovak commuters heading over the border to sell gaudy cheap clothes to Burgenlanders driving tractors at the Parndorf malls, all the time trying to establish why – given just how far off the grid (of the public-transit vortex that is Niederösterreich) the start point lays – VH3 haven't set a Monday run in Hundsheim recently.
The Trail description had promised Austrian dungeon basement internment and, following a particularly sudden, violent and miasmic reminder of the previous night's diet, your humble Hare found himself prisoner in just such a scene in a (probably now closed by health-and-safety) Hainburg café en route to Trail – being released from his dank cell only after 15-20 minutes of banging, shouting and shoulder-barging a toilet door whose refusal to open at a convenient time means it has a great future as an Austrian supermarket.
Meanwhile, an entirely different shitstorm was manifesting in Vienna, as Hashers who had wisely identified R*n #6 as the weekend's highlight, were forced to flee to other buses, being sold on the not-so-subtle advertising point of those buses actually existing. (Even a promised foreign Hare got on another bus.)
Still, 20 minutes after the last bus to the lesser Trails had left, bus #6 rolled in to collect its passenger manifest of the Hares, the single-figure number of Hashers with patience known in Christendom, some poor unfortunates who had been thrown off of Bus #9, and one random who will forever thank Happy Feet for dragging him up the bus steps at the last moment. Finally, those who would become known as the Hainburg Twelve were underway, sitting atop a veritable treasure chest in beers:Hashers ratio.
Pink meanwhile was still making his way to the start, traveling backward along the first – VH3-laid – part of Trail and marveling at the fact a few of the Hares' marks had withstood two thunderstorms and the attention of local dog walkers, normally about as amenable to flour on their paths as VH3 RA XX is to buying a drink for another human being. Giving up and making his own (much more interesting, borderline suicidal) Trail past the Fliegerdenkmal, your Hare was happy to see the EH3 chariot pull up just 300 metres away. Unfortunately, each and every one those metres was vertical.
Thanks in part to a Chalk Talk which your Hare can only imagine is to be measured in ice ages, contact was made shortly before a pack in complete ignorance of what was awaiting them turned uphill and hit the first check. It didn't take the visitors long to decode the Hares' marking style from these circles, quickly deducing that after a first dash in each possible pathway in sight, a second would not be found until crossing into the next time zone. Pink, hanging back to commit the sin of working on Trail, took particular schadenfreude-laced enjoyment from the two Hashers from the States' unwavering belief that they were actually going to be taken into the Shiggy and their complaints at the Hundsheimerberg summit that they had yet to get a single check right.
After a brief pause to enjoy a view stretching from Hungary to the Alps, and the introduction of the word "Trumpanzee" to each Hasher's vocabulary (a mindless primitive orange creature, for the record), a welcome shady downhill followed, along with the worrying realization that after traversing just 20% of the Trail, we might actually have killed one of our Pack. It was with great relief then, to finally descend to the Kulturfabrik Bahnhof where our bus duly identified itself from the Postbus fleet in residence by displaying a golden carpet of cold Ottakringer cans before it. Never has this swill tasted so good.
It was here Trail improved immensely as Sloppy and Pink took over Haring duties, giving a refresher on the marks to look for and, at this exact moment, several things happened:
· A look of horror etched itself onto the faces of the Hainburg 12 as they were told that no, this wasn't exactly the halfway point per se;
· Secret Hare A.N.a.L. arrived from Czechia, because the 'merican quotient was apparently not already high enough and;
· MTG, whose own anal preparations had seen him prepare a Trail description including to-the-millimetre GPS coordinates, was seen sprinting (well, an approximation of it) back 500 metres along the Danube Promenade having remembered he had not seen fit to tell the driver or bus manager where to meet us at the end…
After a brief meander through the maze-like centre of the beautiful medieval walled-town of Hainburg came a song stop in a hotel courtyard, as Sloppy, who had already dismayed rural Austria with his checkered facial hair, practically then dared onlookers to expel all foreigners from the country by leading the Pack in a bizarre chicken dance, which is probably some form of exquisite mating ritual in at least one Welsh valley.
Trail continued into a hotel lobby, with the Pack at first refusing to believe that ALL arrows were true, before immediately running inside and rejoicing at front desk as they watched the skies open and release the type of downpour that historically has seen people construct an ark to navigate. As the pack slowly emerged from the dry to brave the torrents of water gushing toward the Danube it was clear no marks could have survived and a bit of auto-Haring herded the pack to the base of the Schlossberg.
Refreshed and emboldened by the rain, or more likely by one-too many Ottakringers, the Pack, in its near-entirety, decided that they would take the 'Eagle' route to the top. This despite being warned the rock face genuinely was challenging (to both ability and mortality) and even more Eagle-y given its new slippery coating. Atop the castle walls the Pack took in the view of (a now even greyer) Bratislava, and while Pink went back to check the cliff was not strewn with the bodies of Hashers, the weight of his abandoned backpack became the subject of some debate. Obviously, our pack was as quick of brain as of feet, deducing that the only thing which could compel a man to bring something that heavy up such an incline must be highly alcoholic.
Out came the bottle. And then the next one. And another. And finally, another, as the Hainburg 12 quickly did the mental math which showed that this was a much better equation than dividing between 100 people. After a full-on smorgasbord of tasting the best schnapps the Slavic world can offer (blueberry was the undoubted winner) Pink reloaded his rucksack (which was now substantially lighter, but not the featherweight pillowcase he'd been dreaming of inheriting at this point) and Trail continued down beneath the shadow of fortress walls back to the Danube, where we picked up some now wet-throated members of the Pack who had shortcutted with the valuable insider information of a pub located on Trail.
Through tunnels cut into cliffs and along Danube beaches, the pack concertinaed together at one check, which was proving impossible to break, apparently because "it's the Danube, there's no way we are doing a river crossing…" Minutes later and after a quick collection of electronic devices into a drybag, and to the probable eternal dismay of a family of otters, several Hashers were near-naked and swimming across the lakes of the Au national park, while others braved the quicksand-like mud and submerged dam for a (slightly) drier crossing.
More uphill was waiting, more ruins with more Trailporn views of the Danube basin. The Pack called for an impromptu Schnapps Check and out came the bottles once again, and much rejoicing was had. Not least on the news that there was little more than a paltry 2 kilometres of Trail left… The first of those brought the pack to a check on a golf course fairway, with (now a hound) MTG at first refusing to cross for fear of being hit by a golf ball, before suddenly changing his mind and crisscrossing it collecting them like some crazed oversized kangaroo.
By now it was obvious, the only way was up to the road we could hear above us, although the traffic was drowned out by collective horror when the woodland path dropped downward briefly before one final check, with Trail emerging to present from nowhere a panorama of Pannonia and the most beautiful sight of all, a lot (and I mean a LOT) of beer. Bags of crisps were devoured as soon as they were opened, while MTG bragged about his golf course trophy, before dropping it and watching it roll under the bus and down Braunsberg as he chased forlornly in pursuit… A short circle led by Sloppy absolved the pack of all multitude of sins and removed this Hare's ability to remember individual Hasher's names for this write-up, sorry.
The bus was boarded and sent Vienna-bound, with MTG desperate about arrival times while forgetting just how late we had started. (He is of a certain age and had consumed half his own bodyweight in juniper schnapps.) I can't tell you how that bus ride went, as this Hare returned to Slovakia, but given how much alcohol had been consumed at this point, I doubt any one of the Hainburg 12, those unwitting Hashers who went for a walk but instead survived and conquered a ballbreaker (officially recognized), could either...
On on!
View the Trail here:
While Vienna Hares MTG and Just in Beaver leisurely consumed their lavish breakfasts of beluga caviar, champagne, diamonds and whatever else it is the Austrian pension system buys its retirees every week, foreign Hare Sloppy Stool was rising from his night's accommodation beneath a disheveled bush in an unspecified 10th District park and in Bratislava Mr. Pink was looking at his sirening alarm clock with confusion, trying for all the world to establish just exactly what an hour starting with a zero actually is.
Once finally vertical, Pink joined the throngs of Slovak commuters heading over the border to sell gaudy cheap clothes to Burgenlanders driving tractors at the Parndorf malls, all the time trying to establish why – given just how far off the grid (of the public-transit vortex that is Niederösterreich) the start point lays – VH3 haven't set a Monday run in Hundsheim recently.
The Trail description had promised Austrian dungeon basement internment and, following a particularly sudden, violent and miasmic reminder of the previous night's diet, your humble Hare found himself prisoner in just such a scene in a (probably now closed by health-and-safety) Hainburg café en route to Trail – being released from his dank cell only after 15-20 minutes of banging, shouting and shoulder-barging a toilet door whose refusal to open at a convenient time means it has a great future as an Austrian supermarket.
Meanwhile, an entirely different shitstorm was manifesting in Vienna, as Hashers who had wisely identified R*n #6 as the weekend's highlight, were forced to flee to other buses, being sold on the not-so-subtle advertising point of those buses actually existing. (Even a promised foreign Hare got on another bus.)
Still, 20 minutes after the last bus to the lesser Trails had left, bus #6 rolled in to collect its passenger manifest of the Hares, the single-figure number of Hashers with patience known in Christendom, some poor unfortunates who had been thrown off of Bus #9, and one random who will forever thank Happy Feet for dragging him up the bus steps at the last moment. Finally, those who would become known as the Hainburg Twelve were underway, sitting atop a veritable treasure chest in beers:Hashers ratio.
Pink meanwhile was still making his way to the start, traveling backward along the first – VH3-laid – part of Trail and marveling at the fact a few of the Hares' marks had withstood two thunderstorms and the attention of local dog walkers, normally about as amenable to flour on their paths as VH3 RA XX is to buying a drink for another human being. Giving up and making his own (much more interesting, borderline suicidal) Trail past the Fliegerdenkmal, your Hare was happy to see the EH3 chariot pull up just 300 metres away. Unfortunately, each and every one those metres was vertical.
Thanks in part to a Chalk Talk which your Hare can only imagine is to be measured in ice ages, contact was made shortly before a pack in complete ignorance of what was awaiting them turned uphill and hit the first check. It didn't take the visitors long to decode the Hares' marking style from these circles, quickly deducing that after a first dash in each possible pathway in sight, a second would not be found until crossing into the next time zone. Pink, hanging back to commit the sin of working on Trail, took particular schadenfreude-laced enjoyment from the two Hashers from the States' unwavering belief that they were actually going to be taken into the Shiggy and their complaints at the Hundsheimerberg summit that they had yet to get a single check right.
After a brief pause to enjoy a view stretching from Hungary to the Alps, and the introduction of the word "Trumpanzee" to each Hasher's vocabulary (a mindless primitive orange creature, for the record), a welcome shady downhill followed, along with the worrying realization that after traversing just 20% of the Trail, we might actually have killed one of our Pack. It was with great relief then, to finally descend to the Kulturfabrik Bahnhof where our bus duly identified itself from the Postbus fleet in residence by displaying a golden carpet of cold Ottakringer cans before it. Never has this swill tasted so good.
It was here Trail improved immensely as Sloppy and Pink took over Haring duties, giving a refresher on the marks to look for and, at this exact moment, several things happened:
· A look of horror etched itself onto the faces of the Hainburg 12 as they were told that no, this wasn't exactly the halfway point per se;
· Secret Hare A.N.a.L. arrived from Czechia, because the 'merican quotient was apparently not already high enough and;
· MTG, whose own anal preparations had seen him prepare a Trail description including to-the-millimetre GPS coordinates, was seen sprinting (well, an approximation of it) back 500 metres along the Danube Promenade having remembered he had not seen fit to tell the driver or bus manager where to meet us at the end…
After a brief meander through the maze-like centre of the beautiful medieval walled-town of Hainburg came a song stop in a hotel courtyard, as Sloppy, who had already dismayed rural Austria with his checkered facial hair, practically then dared onlookers to expel all foreigners from the country by leading the Pack in a bizarre chicken dance, which is probably some form of exquisite mating ritual in at least one Welsh valley.
Trail continued into a hotel lobby, with the Pack at first refusing to believe that ALL arrows were true, before immediately running inside and rejoicing at front desk as they watched the skies open and release the type of downpour that historically has seen people construct an ark to navigate. As the pack slowly emerged from the dry to brave the torrents of water gushing toward the Danube it was clear no marks could have survived and a bit of auto-Haring herded the pack to the base of the Schlossberg.
Refreshed and emboldened by the rain, or more likely by one-too many Ottakringers, the Pack, in its near-entirety, decided that they would take the 'Eagle' route to the top. This despite being warned the rock face genuinely was challenging (to both ability and mortality) and even more Eagle-y given its new slippery coating. Atop the castle walls the Pack took in the view of (a now even greyer) Bratislava, and while Pink went back to check the cliff was not strewn with the bodies of Hashers, the weight of his abandoned backpack became the subject of some debate. Obviously, our pack was as quick of brain as of feet, deducing that the only thing which could compel a man to bring something that heavy up such an incline must be highly alcoholic.
Out came the bottle. And then the next one. And another. And finally, another, as the Hainburg 12 quickly did the mental math which showed that this was a much better equation than dividing between 100 people. After a full-on smorgasbord of tasting the best schnapps the Slavic world can offer (blueberry was the undoubted winner) Pink reloaded his rucksack (which was now substantially lighter, but not the featherweight pillowcase he'd been dreaming of inheriting at this point) and Trail continued down beneath the shadow of fortress walls back to the Danube, where we picked up some now wet-throated members of the Pack who had shortcutted with the valuable insider information of a pub located on Trail.
Through tunnels cut into cliffs and along Danube beaches, the pack concertinaed together at one check, which was proving impossible to break, apparently because "it's the Danube, there's no way we are doing a river crossing…" Minutes later and after a quick collection of electronic devices into a drybag, and to the probable eternal dismay of a family of otters, several Hashers were near-naked and swimming across the lakes of the Au national park, while others braved the quicksand-like mud and submerged dam for a (slightly) drier crossing.
More uphill was waiting, more ruins with more Trailporn views of the Danube basin. The Pack called for an impromptu Schnapps Check and out came the bottles once again, and much rejoicing was had. Not least on the news that there was little more than a paltry 2 kilometres of Trail left… The first of those brought the pack to a check on a golf course fairway, with (now a hound) MTG at first refusing to cross for fear of being hit by a golf ball, before suddenly changing his mind and crisscrossing it collecting them like some crazed oversized kangaroo.
By now it was obvious, the only way was up to the road we could hear above us, although the traffic was drowned out by collective horror when the woodland path dropped downward briefly before one final check, with Trail emerging to present from nowhere a panorama of Pannonia and the most beautiful sight of all, a lot (and I mean a LOT) of beer. Bags of crisps were devoured as soon as they were opened, while MTG bragged about his golf course trophy, before dropping it and watching it roll under the bus and down Braunsberg as he chased forlornly in pursuit… A short circle led by Sloppy absolved the pack of all multitude of sins and removed this Hare's ability to remember individual Hasher's names for this write-up, sorry.
The bus was boarded and sent Vienna-bound, with MTG desperate about arrival times while forgetting just how late we had started. (He is of a certain age and had consumed half his own bodyweight in juniper schnapps.) I can't tell you how that bus ride went, as this Hare returned to Slovakia, but given how much alcohol had been consumed at this point, I doubt any one of the Hainburg 12, those unwitting Hashers who went for a walk but instead survived and conquered a ballbreaker (officially recognized), could either...
On on!
View the Trail here:
Relive 'VH3 EH 17 Hainburg run'
Friday, 22 December 2017
And a few pics
From Nashville to Wiener Neudorf back to Provincetown, Massachusetts. Thanks to those who made those shots (they know who they are).
That's about it for now I suppose. But I'll be back, as they all say.
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| Squeeze Box Mama seems to be somewhere in Nashville |
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| Sunrise in Wiener Neudorf as being witnessed by S.Energy |
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| And the Lobster Christmas tree in Provincetown, a contribution by Glory Daze |
That's about it for now I suppose. But I'll be back, as they all say.
Do you hear what I hear?
Over the past few days lots of seasons greetings have been flying back and forth the blogosphere. May I join in the choir to wish and each and all readers, Hashers or not, a Happy Christmas time and a Great year 2018 to come. With full of demanding Hash runs and cool quality beer, naturally. And raise the Hash Fee at the World's Worst. A couple of well known Christmas Songs that have washed up in conversation were the following two ones:
In case you're wandering if this hymn can't be matched, listen to another one of my personal favourites:
In case you're wandering if this hymn can't be matched, listen to another one of my personal favourites:
Wednesday, 20 December 2017
Cha Cha All the Way
Quite a bit of catching up to do. Well, lots of valuable drinking time over the last few months and not so much likewise important blogging hours. I'll try to be better, if only for our good friend (?) Likkmm who seriously demanded the Cardinals speech at our recent Christmas party at a new location, the Gasthaus Birner in Viennas 22nd district, since our regular Christmas shelter, the Martinsschlössl has apparently ceased to exist. As a neutral bystander I can report that the beer was fine, food was aplenty, the Moron Bros Inc. (Inc. for Incompetent by their own definition) show was impeccable and the awards ceremony, as every year, was a memorable one. So here is the speech, straight from the horses mouth, unabrigded.
Laudations and bowntious greeting are sent to you by the Holy Father in Rome who wishes to congratulate to the Vindobona Hash on their 35 years of existence. He would also like to remind you that the Dodo Species was considered to be healthy until 1662, if you catch the Holy Fathers drift.
Before you feet start to fall asleep, I would, on behalf of the Holy Father and the rest of our Hash, like to thank the Organisers of tonights Gala, namely the Blessed Saint Norman (OVH) and Lord Glo Balls (OVH) with assistance from Rowed Runner and Nail Me. They have successfully found a new venue and although it feels strange and sad not being able to celebrate at our old haunt - The Martinsschlössl – I am certain, the 4 chord “Gang Bang Bang” (featuring Chuckie, Just Ken, David and Jimbo) will sound as good as ever in this new location (would it be possible to sound even worse?) APPLAUSE FOR THE BAND!
I would kindly suggest that those who are NOT members of this Hash and are only here for a good time, should leave now because it gets deadly boring from here On In. Now that I’ve mentioned it, I think I’ll go with you! I’ve been working on this script for two days now and you think I could come up with something better than that. Well, I haven’t so take a good long pull on your beer and bear with me…
It all began in the winter. Can anyone remember anything besides MOM standing on the cold in his shorts? Anyone remember the frozen Vineyards of Kuchelau? (If you are expecting a slide show to appear in the background don’t hold your breath). How about the Grüss-Di-A-Gott Wirt for the first of three times? My memory is numb around this time of year because I start my 2 and half months abstinence from alcohol. Everything becomes white and beautiful – in it’s own way of course … Then there was Eichgraben for the first of two times (Oh Sodomia!). The Gießhübl Kuhheide, the beautiful Nussforfer Wehr and our first Heurigen Stop of the Year. I was drinking again. How about the spiritual Easter Bunny run, and then our traditional Monday opening running up the Hermannskogel – where? – the Grüß-Di-A-Gott Wirt. Naturally. Don’t forget the blow jobs by the Vienna Pipers for our 35th birthday party. Now the fun begins.
The fantastic backyard run brought to you by my favourite Mother and her two charming daughters in Bad Deutsch Altenburg, the King Gook Memorial Run in Laxenburg with Salmbräu Beer in real Glass Mugs courtesy of Ice Queen and Slush Puppie. No Mercy Mistress’ Party by the Pool with leftovers from her sons birthday. The fantastic freezing cold but no rain this time Bar-B-Q at Just-In-Beavers Villa on the Donau Oder Kanal. Casting Couch’s Golden Stairway and not (Thank God!) Golden Shower Run. My Pints birthday run with grilling under the stars on his great deck in the woods. …. Man we have it pretty good don’t you think? Grüss-Di-A-Gott Wirt for the third and final time with election predictions and Victoria’s Secret Birthday run with old and new and Nail Me’s house for beer stops. The AGM with “MeToo” results and, finally here….
There were over 58 runs and I haven’t even included the weekend PGAE extravaganza as well as the Eurohash and the Zillion cans of leftover Ottakringer. That will be covered a bit later by the Blessed Saint Norman (OVH).
All of these runs take time, dedication, commitment, and love for our Hash. We had high water marks in 2017. MTG became Prof. Dr.Dr. Felch (OVH) after reaching 1000 runs. Ice Queen, Free Willy and Slush Puppie hit 900, Root C, King Ralph, Joy Stick and Sex Energy passed 600 and MOM is still MOM. And everyone who came regularly contributed by setting more than one run…. with the exception of two people, both of them having a combined total of 76 runs but not one run set. Sad but true. No need to mention names here because we are On-On to the awards….
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
If it seems odd that the same people get all the awards year after year, then there might be a reason why it is so. Perhaps they put a lot of time and effort into our Hash… of perhaps they pay me off.
The original awards were called “the Golden Beer Cans” and were sprayed gold and got labelled by the late and great King Gook. Somewhere along the way things changed to medals and trophies. Tonight, the awards are sponsored by the Vatican and the Holy Father. Each one of these medals was selected by yours truly but because we have not raised the Hash Fee and our Hash funds can only go so far, we have limited the numbers of recipients (winners). These items of honor should be worn proudly at Hash functions, particularly at funerals and Miss World Contests. If you fail to receive an award this year – tough – better luck next year – if there is a next year.
The first award is for best run
We had many beautiful runs. 3 Hares set over 10 runs alone! Thank you all very much! Mr. Pink thinks he deserves this award, but he isn’t going to get it. Others thought the run in Siegenfeld with the most embarrassing wedding proposal ever witnessed by mankind, should win. This is for the best run in Hainburg – The Ball Breaker – and also but for his organising (organ sizing) all Hash runs, and setting 10 others on his own – Prof. Dr.Dr.Felch - this is yours – Congrats!
Moral: It is bad luck to take advice from insane people!
The next award is for Consistency
Being on the Hash for almost every run, helping with pouring beer, being silent and understanding – do you understand me ?? – This one goes to MOM – what, he is not here??
Ok then it is yours RootC!
Moral: Rapists should be castrated at birth.
This one is done the most for the Hash
Well it is pretty obvious who gets this, man! Who finally got rid of all the dreaded Ottakringer? No one but the Flying Dutchman.
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news.
Patient: What’s the good news?
Doctor: The test you took showed that you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: That’s the good news? What’s the bad news`
Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.
This award is Pain in the Rain.
Remember SB Mamas disaster? The entire Hash huddled in the Arenberg park under a Mushroom structure with a homeless person – in the pouring rain. We ran 100 meters and gave up – But there was rain that was far worse – in Rodaun – God – what rain! – Where was the RA? Who set this? Hot Property!
The Ingratiation Award
We have got to to brown nose to this person all year long so that she will invite us to her pool. This year she gave us the leftovers from her sons 30th birthday (Kosher?). I mean, does it get and better than this?? (EEK EEK!!) No Mercy Mistress – Nice Hat! Would you remove your hat please?
This award is called “What do you get when you cross a Dutchman with a Finnish Woman? Horse Dick!
This award is the “I think I know your face – have you ever sat on my face before?”. It’s like our former GM Duck who kept coming back , and back, and etc. She’ll be here for a short time only – The Great Mindphuck!
And finally (maybe not)N this is the biggest award of the night: this is about self-promotion and self-implosion. The biggest Fuck-Up of all time. Group pressure has forced me to give the Cluster Fuck award for the PGAE 5.5.
The whole group of Sugar Daddy, Sugar Cum, Steamback Mountain, Alrightke + Offlimits!
But before we go we have a few special awards.
The prediction of the Austrian Elections was done by mixing alcohol of all the political party colours – I haven’t a clue what went in that toxic concoction – but it was done democratically. The election Cocktail an their prediction was correct. We elected drunks! The clectio ncocktail award to IG + SP.
As always I think that Anita Hanjob does the best Shirt designs. And she does. But this time different shirts were produced with print that hasn’t come off – yet! Great Job Barefoot!
How could I forget our Moron Brothers? It's easy! Nevertheless I have to give them something, one is my Holy Acolyte! Congrats and give this to your brother for being the Hash Flash.
Departing Joke – Much too long a presentation
Mr. Pinks Prayer
Bloody Mary, full of Vodka
Blessed are you amongst drinks
Pray for me at the hour of my death
Which I hope is soon
Bloody Mary, full of Vodka
Blessed are you amongst drinks
Pray for me at the hour of my death
Which I hope is soon
Amen
 |
| Live on stage! |
Laudations and bowntious greeting are sent to you by the Holy Father in Rome who wishes to congratulate to the Vindobona Hash on their 35 years of existence. He would also like to remind you that the Dodo Species was considered to be healthy until 1662, if you catch the Holy Fathers drift.
Before you feet start to fall asleep, I would, on behalf of the Holy Father and the rest of our Hash, like to thank the Organisers of tonights Gala, namely the Blessed Saint Norman (OVH) and Lord Glo Balls (OVH) with assistance from Rowed Runner and Nail Me. They have successfully found a new venue and although it feels strange and sad not being able to celebrate at our old haunt - The Martinsschlössl – I am certain, the 4 chord “Gang Bang Bang” (featuring Chuckie, Just Ken, David and Jimbo) will sound as good as ever in this new location (would it be possible to sound even worse?) APPLAUSE FOR THE BAND!
I would kindly suggest that those who are NOT members of this Hash and are only here for a good time, should leave now because it gets deadly boring from here On In. Now that I’ve mentioned it, I think I’ll go with you! I’ve been working on this script for two days now and you think I could come up with something better than that. Well, I haven’t so take a good long pull on your beer and bear with me…
It all began in the winter. Can anyone remember anything besides MOM standing on the cold in his shorts? Anyone remember the frozen Vineyards of Kuchelau? (If you are expecting a slide show to appear in the background don’t hold your breath). How about the Grüss-Di-A-Gott Wirt for the first of three times? My memory is numb around this time of year because I start my 2 and half months abstinence from alcohol. Everything becomes white and beautiful – in it’s own way of course … Then there was Eichgraben for the first of two times (Oh Sodomia!). The Gießhübl Kuhheide, the beautiful Nussforfer Wehr and our first Heurigen Stop of the Year. I was drinking again. How about the spiritual Easter Bunny run, and then our traditional Monday opening running up the Hermannskogel – where? – the Grüß-Di-A-Gott Wirt. Naturally. Don’t forget the blow jobs by the Vienna Pipers for our 35th birthday party. Now the fun begins.
The fantastic backyard run brought to you by my favourite Mother and her two charming daughters in Bad Deutsch Altenburg, the King Gook Memorial Run in Laxenburg with Salmbräu Beer in real Glass Mugs courtesy of Ice Queen and Slush Puppie. No Mercy Mistress’ Party by the Pool with leftovers from her sons birthday. The fantastic freezing cold but no rain this time Bar-B-Q at Just-In-Beavers Villa on the Donau Oder Kanal. Casting Couch’s Golden Stairway and not (Thank God!) Golden Shower Run. My Pints birthday run with grilling under the stars on his great deck in the woods. …. Man we have it pretty good don’t you think? Grüss-Di-A-Gott Wirt for the third and final time with election predictions and Victoria’s Secret Birthday run with old and new and Nail Me’s house for beer stops. The AGM with “MeToo” results and, finally here….
There were over 58 runs and I haven’t even included the weekend PGAE extravaganza as well as the Eurohash and the Zillion cans of leftover Ottakringer. That will be covered a bit later by the Blessed Saint Norman (OVH).
All of these runs take time, dedication, commitment, and love for our Hash. We had high water marks in 2017. MTG became Prof. Dr.Dr. Felch (OVH) after reaching 1000 runs. Ice Queen, Free Willy and Slush Puppie hit 900, Root C, King Ralph, Joy Stick and Sex Energy passed 600 and MOM is still MOM. And everyone who came regularly contributed by setting more than one run…. with the exception of two people, both of them having a combined total of 76 runs but not one run set. Sad but true. No need to mention names here because we are On-On to the awards….
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
If it seems odd that the same people get all the awards year after year, then there might be a reason why it is so. Perhaps they put a lot of time and effort into our Hash… of perhaps they pay me off.
The original awards were called “the Golden Beer Cans” and were sprayed gold and got labelled by the late and great King Gook. Somewhere along the way things changed to medals and trophies. Tonight, the awards are sponsored by the Vatican and the Holy Father. Each one of these medals was selected by yours truly but because we have not raised the Hash Fee and our Hash funds can only go so far, we have limited the numbers of recipients (winners). These items of honor should be worn proudly at Hash functions, particularly at funerals and Miss World Contests. If you fail to receive an award this year – tough – better luck next year – if there is a next year.
The first award is for best run
We had many beautiful runs. 3 Hares set over 10 runs alone! Thank you all very much! Mr. Pink thinks he deserves this award, but he isn’t going to get it. Others thought the run in Siegenfeld with the most embarrassing wedding proposal ever witnessed by mankind, should win. This is for the best run in Hainburg – The Ball Breaker – and also but for his organising (organ sizing) all Hash runs, and setting 10 others on his own – Prof. Dr.Dr.Felch - this is yours – Congrats!
Moral: It is bad luck to take advice from insane people!
The next award is for Consistency
Being on the Hash for almost every run, helping with pouring beer, being silent and understanding – do you understand me ?? – This one goes to MOM – what, he is not here??
Ok then it is yours RootC!
Moral: Rapists should be castrated at birth.
This one is done the most for the Hash
Well it is pretty obvious who gets this, man! Who finally got rid of all the dreaded Ottakringer? No one but the Flying Dutchman.
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news.
Patient: What’s the good news?
Doctor: The test you took showed that you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: That’s the good news? What’s the bad news`
Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.
This award is Pain in the Rain.
Remember SB Mamas disaster? The entire Hash huddled in the Arenberg park under a Mushroom structure with a homeless person – in the pouring rain. We ran 100 meters and gave up – But there was rain that was far worse – in Rodaun – God – what rain! – Where was the RA? Who set this? Hot Property!
The Ingratiation Award
We have got to to brown nose to this person all year long so that she will invite us to her pool. This year she gave us the leftovers from her sons 30th birthday (Kosher?). I mean, does it get and better than this?? (EEK EEK!!) No Mercy Mistress – Nice Hat! Would you remove your hat please?
This award is called “What do you get when you cross a Dutchman with a Finnish Woman? Horse Dick!
This award is the “I think I know your face – have you ever sat on my face before?”. It’s like our former GM Duck who kept coming back , and back, and etc. She’ll be here for a short time only – The Great Mindphuck!
And finally (maybe not)N this is the biggest award of the night: this is about self-promotion and self-implosion. The biggest Fuck-Up of all time. Group pressure has forced me to give the Cluster Fuck award for the PGAE 5.5.
The whole group of Sugar Daddy, Sugar Cum, Steamback Mountain, Alrightke + Offlimits!
But before we go we have a few special awards.
The prediction of the Austrian Elections was done by mixing alcohol of all the political party colours – I haven’t a clue what went in that toxic concoction – but it was done democratically. The election Cocktail an their prediction was correct. We elected drunks! The clectio ncocktail award to IG + SP.
As always I think that Anita Hanjob does the best Shirt designs. And she does. But this time different shirts were produced with print that hasn’t come off – yet! Great Job Barefoot!
How could I forget our Moron Brothers? It's easy! Nevertheless I have to give them something, one is my Holy Acolyte! Congrats and give this to your brother for being the Hash Flash.
Departing Joke – Much too long a presentation
Saturday, 26 August 2017
Setting the tone
And on the Friday of Eurohash week all the Hares (including Slush Puppie, Cardinal "The Sweeper" Munk, OVH and myself) went out to set those respective trails in the Areas of Semmering, Hainburg, the Lobau, Gablitz and eventually south of Vienna, the Baden Area (though no run actually was leading through that town).
Our glorious run number eight (aptly titled as "Easy Does It") was leading from Pfaffstätten to Mödling, all the way through the extensive vineyards and lots of forest area. Another hot summer day (and we had and still have plenty of them!) ensured that we would lose the occasional kilogram to make space for the loads of Ottakringer Beer over the weekend,
Curiosity forced me over to pick up my goodie bag and to see and hear the Apples Band play again after a long time, as they performedon our weekend events in 2002 (1000th run in Langschlag, Lower Austria) and 2003 (No Sarz on Marz, Burgenland).
In the evening it was time fir the event to be officially opened and I was impressed by the sheer size of the venue (Ankerbrot Expedit Hall in Viennas 10th district) where beer and wine were flowing in abundance. I liked the Ottakringer Pils Beer. What was a bit less impressive was (as has been discussed on that social Media platfomr) that the (delicious) food was served from one end of the hall only which inevitably cause massive waiting lines. Yet, on the other hand, former member of the Worlds Worst Saw Hua who now resides in Malaysia chatted me up all the half an hour way to the food stall, a pleasure I could not too often enjoy while she ran still with us here in Vienna. After dinner of course there was the much anticipated Song Contest (how could I forget that?). 5 Hash Chapters participated and the Sembach H3 were the glorious winners with their following contribution. Magnificent indeed, as all the other contributions.
Not wanting to be affected by excessive drinking, I took off in time to be ready for those Saturday festivities. To be continued with run reports ASAP.
via GIPHY
Our glorious run number eight (aptly titled as "Easy Does It") was leading from Pfaffstätten to Mödling, all the way through the extensive vineyards and lots of forest area. Another hot summer day (and we had and still have plenty of them!) ensured that we would lose the occasional kilogram to make space for the loads of Ottakringer Beer over the weekend,
Curiosity forced me over to pick up my goodie bag and to see and hear the Apples Band play again after a long time, as they performedon our weekend events in 2002 (1000th run in Langschlag, Lower Austria) and 2003 (No Sarz on Marz, Burgenland).
In the evening it was time fir the event to be officially opened and I was impressed by the sheer size of the venue (Ankerbrot Expedit Hall in Viennas 10th district) where beer and wine were flowing in abundance. I liked the Ottakringer Pils Beer. What was a bit less impressive was (as has been discussed on that social Media platfomr) that the (delicious) food was served from one end of the hall only which inevitably cause massive waiting lines. Yet, on the other hand, former member of the Worlds Worst Saw Hua who now resides in Malaysia chatted me up all the half an hour way to the food stall, a pleasure I could not too often enjoy while she ran still with us here in Vienna. After dinner of course there was the much anticipated Song Contest (how could I forget that?). 5 Hash Chapters participated and the Sembach H3 were the glorious winners with their following contribution. Magnificent indeed, as all the other contributions.
Not wanting to be affected by excessive drinking, I took off in time to be ready for those Saturday festivities. To be continued with run reports ASAP.
Wednesday, 23 August 2017
Picking it up
I am admitting that the summer break took a little longer than I had planned and, amongst udder things, included an act of definite self-destruction as a best man at a friends wedding in form of countless beers and their infamous companions , those creepy Gin-Tonics until the wee hours. Happened to the best of us I know and kept me sober afterwards for more than a week. Meaning that I won't do it again, until the next time of course. Here is some topic-related literature that is worth reading, also in book-form.
Eurohash came and went. My own impression was that the whole event was impressive. Read a very interesting review here. From what I could read at respective group on that social media platform, opinions of our regarded visitors were mostly and overall very positive. I hasten to add that I have not been part of the organizing comittee but acted as one of the Hares on Run # 8, out there a little bit south of Vienna running A to B from Pfaffstätten (they sure grow lovely wines and are a village of a renowned Winefest every year in August) to Mödling, Goldene Stiege.
More of that later.
My Eurohash experience started off at Karlsplatz at the start point for the Red Dress run and when I walked over to the place after work one could see that lovely red colour shining joyfully, impressing a few very attentive law enforcement servants who drove their mobiles very close nearby, although everything had been orderly registered by Ralph, the King (aka King Ralph).
The aim (KR's aim) was to send the participants off in groups of 50 so that the Gösser Beerinsel at the lower end of the Prater Hauptallee could be reached by all casually in time for dinner. Yet and obviously the cool Ottakringer Beer fired the runners up so in less than half an hour all those who wanted to run took off. Naturally much later came a few lost souls along, wearing all red, asking the whereabouts of start and trail. I never really found out what happened to them. My evering concluded in the Schweizerhaus, accompanied by Likk'mm, My Pint of View, Äugele from a German Hash Chapter somewhere in the Pfalz and the old faithful Cardinal Munk, OVH.
Eurohash came and went. My own impression was that the whole event was impressive. Read a very interesting review here. From what I could read at respective group on that social media platform, opinions of our regarded visitors were mostly and overall very positive. I hasten to add that I have not been part of the organizing comittee but acted as one of the Hares on Run # 8, out there a little bit south of Vienna running A to B from Pfaffstätten (they sure grow lovely wines and are a village of a renowned Winefest every year in August) to Mödling, Goldene Stiege.
More of that later.
My Eurohash experience started off at Karlsplatz at the start point for the Red Dress run and when I walked over to the place after work one could see that lovely red colour shining joyfully, impressing a few very attentive law enforcement servants who drove their mobiles very close nearby, although everything had been orderly registered by Ralph, the King (aka King Ralph).
The aim (KR's aim) was to send the participants off in groups of 50 so that the Gösser Beerinsel at the lower end of the Prater Hauptallee could be reached by all casually in time for dinner. Yet and obviously the cool Ottakringer Beer fired the runners up so in less than half an hour all those who wanted to run took off. Naturally much later came a few lost souls along, wearing all red, asking the whereabouts of start and trail. I never really found out what happened to them. My evering concluded in the Schweizerhaus, accompanied by Likk'mm, My Pint of View, Äugele from a German Hash Chapter somewhere in the Pfalz and the old faithful Cardinal Munk, OVH.
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| I see red! |
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| Pic taken by Mícheál Ó Caoinleáin before the Red Dress run |
Sunday, 9 July 2017
Eurohash revisited
With the heady week of Eurohash behind us I try to sort my impressions - very subjective of course - and the incidents and accidents of all this into a series of the next few blog posts. At the end of next week after a short holiday in Austrias most western province of Vorarlberg.
My sympathy goes out to the injured ones Fruit Manager (got hurt on our run # 8 . the best one of course ;-) and Bronco Buster (broken fibula on another run). Have a speedy recovery. It was an honour to host all several hundred of you as guests to Eurohash 2017. To be continued.
OnOn
Marie Tamponette
My sympathy goes out to the injured ones Fruit Manager (got hurt on our run # 8 . the best one of course ;-) and Bronco Buster (broken fibula on another run). Have a speedy recovery. It was an honour to host all several hundred of you as guests to Eurohash 2017. To be continued.
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| Fruit Machine being rescued on Trail # 8 |
OnOn
Marie Tamponette
Monday, 3 July 2017
All will be revealed
Eurohash week is upon us and it started in style to-night with run # 1900 up at the Cobenzl carpark, venue of many a memorable run in the history of the World's Worst. One run that I try to forget without success is the one Sunday one year during wintertime when all of Vienna plus neighbouring regions were up there to Ski/Sleighride/get drunk/any other reason, apart from 20 Hashers. This caused of course a massive traffic congestion with the nearest parking space for S.Energys and my former Hashmobile about 2 kilometres away from the start of the run. Well, when we arrived per pedes at long last we realized that apart from the carkey we forget our wallet, driving license etc. at home. And the icing - pun intended here - was that the beer froze in the old Hash Down Down Mugs. I am not kidding you.
Yet snowfall in July in Vindobona is still a rarity and I must have counted approx 70 Hashers altogether who wanted to start Eurohash week in style. The trail was divided in a runners and a walkers path, with the Hares Casting Couch, Ice queen, Joystick and Slush Puppie. I went on the runners trail and this route was leading down for quite a bit alongside the Höhenstrasse (look up the interesting history of this road here and here). A few faces from another Hashing life I recognised in Higgins (from long gone Hashing days in Paris), Saw Hua (we know who she is) and Loping Scrotum from the Copenhagen Hash (who came down to our run # 1000 in Langschlag in 2002). I quickly learned that the runners group was a bit more dedicated than the average Vindobonian pack, accordingly I had to puff puff my way back to the tail end of the runners group to gain a little speed in the runs second half.
Crossing the Höhenstrasse the forest trail was leading in a steep way uphill towards the Kahlenberg from where it was on downhill again, still long running stretches. After arriving back at the Carpark and having grabbed the Hash Beer of Eurohash week Boney M. (Frau Doktor) approached me with the question "say, are we back already? Because I thot that this would be just the beerstop!". At the circle there were strange memories brought forward concerning former VH3 GM Monsoon Drain (from very many years ago). Apparently in 1991 he organised an event and left the country/had to leave Ostrich country before the actual date of the event. It seems that St. Norman, OVH and a few more had to save that run # 500 weekend. On after at the Cobenzl restaurant.
According to my reliable sources this container is a little too well filled for the surface and its feet are slowly sinking into the soft tarmac underneath. A second beer truck has been ordered to the party venue to help lighten the precious load. And, be absolutely careful where you take a seat.
via GIPHY
Yet snowfall in July in Vindobona is still a rarity and I must have counted approx 70 Hashers altogether who wanted to start Eurohash week in style. The trail was divided in a runners and a walkers path, with the Hares Casting Couch, Ice queen, Joystick and Slush Puppie. I went on the runners trail and this route was leading down for quite a bit alongside the Höhenstrasse (look up the interesting history of this road here and here). A few faces from another Hashing life I recognised in Higgins (from long gone Hashing days in Paris), Saw Hua (we know who she is) and Loping Scrotum from the Copenhagen Hash (who came down to our run # 1000 in Langschlag in 2002). I quickly learned that the runners group was a bit more dedicated than the average Vindobonian pack, accordingly I had to puff puff my way back to the tail end of the runners group to gain a little speed in the runs second half.
Crossing the Höhenstrasse the forest trail was leading in a steep way uphill towards the Kahlenberg from where it was on downhill again, still long running stretches. After arriving back at the Carpark and having grabbed the Hash Beer of Eurohash week Boney M. (Frau Doktor) approached me with the question "say, are we back already? Because I thot that this would be just the beerstop!". At the circle there were strange memories brought forward concerning former VH3 GM Monsoon Drain (from very many years ago). Apparently in 1991 he organised an event and left the country/had to leave Ostrich country before the actual date of the event. It seems that St. Norman, OVH and a few more had to save that run # 500 weekend. On after at the Cobenzl restaurant.
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| The booze container for Eurohash week |
According to my reliable sources this container is a little too well filled for the surface and its feet are slowly sinking into the soft tarmac underneath. A second beer truck has been ordered to the party venue to help lighten the precious load. And, be absolutely careful where you take a seat.
via GIPHY
Friday, 30 June 2017
Splashdown
Eurohash minus 7 days. Ok that's enough, no more counting down the days. An interesting venue to run is the Seeschlacht area, which signifies a recreational site a bit outside and northwest of Vienna in the city of Langenzersdorf, location of the former parental home both to Casting Couch as well as Kuty Pi. The Seeschlacht is another lake that offers good swimming, yet in comparison to No Mercy Mistress' Pool (that run comes up in July) or the Figurteich has lots more mosquitos waiting to nibble on sweaty Hashers (after the run and before and after the swim naturally).
Casting Couch, partly assisted by the Great Kuntini has set a long run starting off towards the green and yellowish fields (it is very dry in Vindobona these days) towards the Danube river and that stretch along the main bike path next to the water might have lasted for three kilometres (?). In all case the length of that part of the run was sufficient to separate the 5 or 6 runners, me right amongst them, from the 20 or so walkers. A few sly Checkpoints and direction changes could not fool anyone as to the left these was the mighty river floating by and to the right we had to Motorway A 22 (Donauuferautobahn) which a certain no-no in terms of turning off.
After a longer while and taking an underpass it was on off to - of course railway lines! - and Gottseidank no one fell or got run over by a train (though an angry Engine driver could be heard honking his horn). At the start of the run there were no Hares and Prof.Dr.Dr. Felch, OVH promised that "there would be a beer stop". Needless to say that there was no beer stop - Alternative Facts here! - and running back through a part of Bisamberg and a much longer part of Langenzersdorf took us all back to the carpark. The very first visitor of Eurohash (ha!) came by which was our good friend Herpes, coming all the way from Jakarta.
A circle with cold beer and the swim in the lake - water temperature 26 degrees Celsius already! - and the On After at a nearby Würstelstand. And that were the first 6 months of the year.
Are we all having a good time?
via GIPHY
Casting Couch, partly assisted by the Great Kuntini has set a long run starting off towards the green and yellowish fields (it is very dry in Vindobona these days) towards the Danube river and that stretch along the main bike path next to the water might have lasted for three kilometres (?). In all case the length of that part of the run was sufficient to separate the 5 or 6 runners, me right amongst them, from the 20 or so walkers. A few sly Checkpoints and direction changes could not fool anyone as to the left these was the mighty river floating by and to the right we had to Motorway A 22 (Donauuferautobahn) which a certain no-no in terms of turning off.
After a longer while and taking an underpass it was on off to - of course railway lines! - and Gottseidank no one fell or got run over by a train (though an angry Engine driver could be heard honking his horn). At the start of the run there were no Hares and Prof.Dr.Dr. Felch, OVH promised that "there would be a beer stop". Needless to say that there was no beer stop - Alternative Facts here! - and running back through a part of Bisamberg and a much longer part of Langenzersdorf took us all back to the carpark. The very first visitor of Eurohash (ha!) came by which was our good friend Herpes, coming all the way from Jakarta.
A circle with cold beer and the swim in the lake - water temperature 26 degrees Celsius already! - and the On After at a nearby Würstelstand. And that were the first 6 months of the year.
Are we all having a good time?
Sunday, 25 June 2017
To burn off the crazy
12 more days until Eurohash (and I will finally stop counting down the days ;-) This summers first definitve heat wave has been lingering over the city for 2 weeks now. In a bit of a rush I tried to sneak in a substitute location for the traditional run in the area of the Figurteich (roadworks on the way, my dear readers) by setting a short run in Biedermannsdorf, another smallish suburb south of Vienna. The aim was to get a little bit of exercise (but not too much) at outside temperatures well above 30 degrees Celsius and on the other hand to take advantage of Richard Kopf's (OVH) absence. You know, great RA and everything, yet always on the verge of letting the circles go on forever. And the kitchen at the On After, the fine Bikers Heurigen Holzgruber, closed at 9 p.m.
All said and done, a little to and fro within Biedermannsdorf ("Excuse us, what is this white stuff that you're throwing down here? What? Flour? I know the bag sez so, but it seemed to us that you were marking our building site! Ah ok, might as well continue!") Every Hasher who has set runs in the past must have been asked these crucial questions in one form or another. There is this nice short stretch alongside forest and a stream that fitted in just fine and after running by the picturesque trainstation of Laxenburg-Biedermannsdorf (in terms of looking a bit shabby) it was already on back to where the run started from (Running time approx 50 minutes). The walkers and the latecomers (Lord Glo-Balls, OVH) easily caught up in time. The enjoyable Heurigen scenery rounded up another hot day. And, talking about Adam West, this is my favourite scene of him starring Batman. Amongst very many others of course.
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| Batman forever! RIP Adam West |
All said and done, a little to and fro within Biedermannsdorf ("Excuse us, what is this white stuff that you're throwing down here? What? Flour? I know the bag sez so, but it seemed to us that you were marking our building site! Ah ok, might as well continue!") Every Hasher who has set runs in the past must have been asked these crucial questions in one form or another. There is this nice short stretch alongside forest and a stream that fitted in just fine and after running by the picturesque trainstation of Laxenburg-Biedermannsdorf (in terms of looking a bit shabby) it was already on back to where the run started from (Running time approx 50 minutes). The walkers and the latecomers (Lord Glo-Balls, OVH) easily caught up in time. The enjoyable Heurigen scenery rounded up another hot day. And, talking about Adam West, this is my favourite scene of him starring Batman. Amongst very many others of course.
Wednesday, 21 June 2017
Does the moon really care?
Same number of days til Eurohash (still 16). Wednesday last week saw me invited to come along as a Cohare by Casting Couch and Se* Energy to help set a Full Moon run (I know, less important than the World's Worst but still) in Vindobonas 23rd district. A bit of an old chestnut but always worth coming back to (check out last years blog post), apart from a bit of light jogging around the block is coming back to Mimis Stüberl, a Gasthaus unlike most others and well worth a comparison to our own Hash House, the Gösser Bierinsel and the great Grüß-Di-A-Gott Wirt. After a short run and a well conducted circle by R and A Ice Queen and Slush Puppie, OVH it was on over to the meeting place for the owners of their lonely Hearts, spiced up by the unimitable laugh og Mimi herself. Certainly not a tourist place with agreeable food and Puntigamer on tap.
Just add Water
Eurohash minus 16 days. The clock is ticking. The various Hares for the weekend runs have been around the place and there is a high chance that we and our visitors will be having a glorious Eurohash weekend with memorable runs.
The rare occasions on which RA Richard Kopf (duly assisted by Nail Me) sets his annual run (and I cannot remember him doing more than one Haring a year) have turned into regular visits to the Mühlwasser in the 21st district, certainly one of the nicer areas in the Ostrich capital. Se*-o-Phone and family, alumni now living in Ozzieland have set many a trail in that area in the past. Running along the water and through lots of green and forest are reminders - at least for me - on how the Danube river must have looked like before its regulation in the late 19th century. A run feature certainly was a welcomed beerstop (with cold beer!). This was followed by a few muddy patches and then nearly back to the carpark outside the Strandbad Stadlau. No Balls Prize, always at hand with the Gang Bang Bus when the Hash seems to have spacious desires reversed his van in the midst of a public bike path to get the cold beer as close to the Hash circle as Swedes could humanly do. Hardly any mosquitos, must be too warm even for them.
I have to admit that Richard Kopfs once-in-a-year runs are getting better somewhat, must be mainly due to Nail Me being the decisive influence ;-) We want more of that. (2 runs of these two Hares in 2018!)
via GIPHY
The rare occasions on which RA Richard Kopf (duly assisted by Nail Me) sets his annual run (and I cannot remember him doing more than one Haring a year) have turned into regular visits to the Mühlwasser in the 21st district, certainly one of the nicer areas in the Ostrich capital. Se*-o-Phone and family, alumni now living in Ozzieland have set many a trail in that area in the past. Running along the water and through lots of green and forest are reminders - at least for me - on how the Danube river must have looked like before its regulation in the late 19th century. A run feature certainly was a welcomed beerstop (with cold beer!). This was followed by a few muddy patches and then nearly back to the carpark outside the Strandbad Stadlau. No Balls Prize, always at hand with the Gang Bang Bus when the Hash seems to have spacious desires reversed his van in the midst of a public bike path to get the cold beer as close to the Hash circle as Swedes could humanly do. Hardly any mosquitos, must be too warm even for them.
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| The Mühlwasser area in Vindobonas 21st district, all within Viennas city limits |
I have to admit that Richard Kopfs once-in-a-year runs are getting better somewhat, must be mainly due to Nail Me being the decisive influence ;-) We want more of that. (2 runs of these two Hares in 2018!)
Thursday, 8 June 2017
Exactly like you
Eurohash minus 29 days. The excitement is growing as are the number of postings on the socical media outlets that are dealing with this by far the biggest happening in the history of the World's Worst. Lots of distractions going on these days (Heurigen and such) and I feel bad for not having written in, errr, a few days. I take this as a good sign, so I've just cracked open some cool cold stuff from Germany (thanks to generous house guests from Dinkelsbühl, lovely place) and here is the latest gossip de Vindobona. And, of course, a reference to the title of this blog post.
On Monday a week ago I came up with a run in our backyards of Wiener Neudorf, a smallish and industrious city with lots of industry on the southern edge of Vienna. A Short but scenic trail alongside the old part of Wiener Neudorf (yes, we do have some patrches of forest paths left here) was leading underneath and inevitably had to cross back over the Südautobahn into the other half of the, well, older part of town. As we all are growing a bit sluggish and weary it took the slowest of the slowest nearly 50 minutes to come back to the carpark for a trail I needed a bit more of an hour to set. OnIn at our preferred local Heurigen Weinbau Hacker where we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. The owner is a nice guy and the place is a comfortable watering hole that we (Se* Energy, myself and friends) go to regularly.
via GIPHY
On Monday a week ago I came up with a run in our backyards of Wiener Neudorf, a smallish and industrious city with lots of industry on the southern edge of Vienna. A Short but scenic trail alongside the old part of Wiener Neudorf (yes, we do have some patrches of forest paths left here) was leading underneath and inevitably had to cross back over the Südautobahn into the other half of the, well, older part of town. As we all are growing a bit sluggish and weary it took the slowest of the slowest nearly 50 minutes to come back to the carpark for a trail I needed a bit more of an hour to set. OnIn at our preferred local Heurigen Weinbau Hacker where we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. The owner is a nice guy and the place is a comfortable watering hole that we (Se* Energy, myself and friends) go to regularly.
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| Your MOM with bad facial hairdo |
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| Me after a Hairtrim on a Hareday |
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| A not so untypical OnAfter at the great Heurigen Hacker in Wiener Neudorf |
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| The present I received for our 30th wedding anniversary. Thanks a LOT for that, my beloved SE :-) |
Thursday, 25 May 2017
Until the shepherd leads his flock away
Euriohash minus 43 days and the clock is ticking. The excitement is growing, there was a Concept Party at our very own Hash House in the Prater and I have the impression that the pieces of the Eurohash puzzle seem to start falling into place.
Last Monday saw the first King Good Memorial run in Laxenburg, a place that holds many memories for the Vindobona Hash and a former and current workplace for some of our so-called runners. Cardinal Munk, OVH and his CoHares No Balls Prize and MOM made extensive use of the picturesque scenery in the park and we were asked before the run to remember our late friend as we were stumbling along.
After running around the better part of that beautiful area it was on back to where we started, whith cold drinks waiting underneath that big old plane tree. During the circle Lord Glo Balls, OVH dished out some more run certificates, amongst those a fat one for Mind the Gap who reached his 1000th run with the World's Worst. Following a tradition, he was inducted into the Order of the Vindobona Hash (OVH) and became only the fifth such member following Lord Glo-Balls, Cardinal Munk, The Blessed Saint Norman and Mohair von F-Kopf (formerly known as Richard Kopf).
I sucessfully managed to get my greedy hands and the induction speech, which was done by all four current members, here is an unabridged version thereof.(BTW, still no moronic pics, assorted ones will be added when they will have sobered up and publish them).
INDUCTION CEREMONY OF MIND THE GAP:
Procession as follows:
Lord Glo-Balls, Cardinal Munk, The Blessed Saint Norman, Mohair von F-Kopf
Cardinal Munk (CM): We gather today to celebrate a wondrous occasion on the annals of the Vindobona Hash. A mortal of flesh and blood will become immortal (immoral) in the eyes of his peers:
Lord Glo-Balls (LGB): It is just that the former Hasher known as Mind the Gap has duly reached the plateau of 1000 runs entitling him to become the 5th member of the illustrious order of the Vindobona Hash or OVH.
Through his dedication, endurance and sacrifice he has now achieved recognition as a mainstay of the Vindobona Hash.
PLEASE STEP FORWARD!
Blessed Saint Norman (BSN): With the ceremony of induction the candidate officially will be granted the title of Prof. Dr. Dr. Felch who mus at all times carry a felching straw with him (BSN hands hima straw).
Mohair von F-Kkopf (MvF): With this title comes the duty of physical examination of all Harriettes when necessary or when the occasion seems appropriate.
CANDIDATE PLEASE KNEEL!
LGB: Do you accept the honour which is bestowed upon you in the name of the OVH?
ANSWER PLEASE (I DO)
BSN: Will you fulfill the extensive duties required of this illustrious membership such as drunkenness and debauchery?
ANSWER PLEASE (I WILL)
MvF: Will you give extensive physical examinations to all Harriettes in sickness and in health and especially in felching?
ANSWER PLEASE (I WILL)
(Each of the members of the OVH will then take the "Holy Vindobona" (pic to follow) and individually, one after another, tap the left then the right shoulder and finally the head of the Candidate, CM finally will say
CM: In the name of the Holy Vindobona and HE that drives us to drink, we now officially proclaim you as Prof. Dr.Dr . Felch.
ARISE and receivce your artefacts of office!
BSN will present a pack of straws and help the Doctor into his white smock.
MvF will next hang the Stethoscope around the doctors neck.
LGB will then pin the order of the OVH onto the Doctors coat.
CM will say Go forth Prof. Dr.Dr. Felch and wreak Havoc amongst Hashdom worldwide.
END
Last Monday saw the first King Good Memorial run in Laxenburg, a place that holds many memories for the Vindobona Hash and a former and current workplace for some of our so-called runners. Cardinal Munk, OVH and his CoHares No Balls Prize and MOM made extensive use of the picturesque scenery in the park and we were asked before the run to remember our late friend as we were stumbling along.
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| Photo taken by Se'* Energy |
After running around the better part of that beautiful area it was on back to where we started, whith cold drinks waiting underneath that big old plane tree. During the circle Lord Glo Balls, OVH dished out some more run certificates, amongst those a fat one for Mind the Gap who reached his 1000th run with the World's Worst. Following a tradition, he was inducted into the Order of the Vindobona Hash (OVH) and became only the fifth such member following Lord Glo-Balls, Cardinal Munk, The Blessed Saint Norman and Mohair von F-Kopf (formerly known as Richard Kopf).
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| Laxenburg Schlosspark |
I sucessfully managed to get my greedy hands and the induction speech, which was done by all four current members, here is an unabridged version thereof.(BTW, still no moronic pics, assorted ones will be added when they will have sobered up and publish them).
INDUCTION CEREMONY OF MIND THE GAP:
Procession as follows:
Lord Glo-Balls, Cardinal Munk, The Blessed Saint Norman, Mohair von F-Kopf
Cardinal Munk (CM): We gather today to celebrate a wondrous occasion on the annals of the Vindobona Hash. A mortal of flesh and blood will become immortal (immoral) in the eyes of his peers:
Lord Glo-Balls (LGB): It is just that the former Hasher known as Mind the Gap has duly reached the plateau of 1000 runs entitling him to become the 5th member of the illustrious order of the Vindobona Hash or OVH.
Through his dedication, endurance and sacrifice he has now achieved recognition as a mainstay of the Vindobona Hash.
PLEASE STEP FORWARD!
Blessed Saint Norman (BSN): With the ceremony of induction the candidate officially will be granted the title of Prof. Dr. Dr. Felch who mus at all times carry a felching straw with him (BSN hands hima straw).
Mohair von F-Kkopf (MvF): With this title comes the duty of physical examination of all Harriettes when necessary or when the occasion seems appropriate.
CANDIDATE PLEASE KNEEL!
LGB: Do you accept the honour which is bestowed upon you in the name of the OVH?
ANSWER PLEASE (I DO)
BSN: Will you fulfill the extensive duties required of this illustrious membership such as drunkenness and debauchery?
ANSWER PLEASE (I WILL)
MvF: Will you give extensive physical examinations to all Harriettes in sickness and in health and especially in felching?
ANSWER PLEASE (I WILL)
(Each of the members of the OVH will then take the "Holy Vindobona" (pic to follow) and individually, one after another, tap the left then the right shoulder and finally the head of the Candidate, CM finally will say
CM: In the name of the Holy Vindobona and HE that drives us to drink, we now officially proclaim you as Prof. Dr.Dr . Felch.
ARISE and receivce your artefacts of office!
BSN will present a pack of straws and help the Doctor into his white smock.
MvF will next hang the Stethoscope around the doctors neck.
LGB will then pin the order of the OVH onto the Doctors coat.
CM will say Go forth Prof. Dr.Dr. Felch and wreak Havoc amongst Hashdom worldwide.
END
Friday, 19 May 2017
All that's left
Eurohash minus 49 days. We're getting close to the big event, all the necessary preparations seem to be working out in one way or the other and the beat of the Hash goes on. What's left to report instead of Flying Dutchmans latest run on the Donauinsel last Monday? How about some animalic diplomatic encounter in the Lainzer Tiergarten, in Viennas 13th district. This of course leads straight to the notorious musical references one, two and three (Gasp). Or, part of not so old Ostrich political history, a reference that one of this country's esteemed leaders was making to these well, sort of comparisons.
The second half of the week saw two important dwinking events happen at the same time within Viennas city centre, with the distance near enough between the two so one could stagger to and fro. The Wiener Bierfest has become as much an institution as the Waldviertel Tage (another Ostrich region presenting themselves in the heart of the Capital, clever move). The upcoming weekend will see trail reccies for the Eurohash weekend and on Monday we will have first the King Gook Memorial run. Read about him here.
via GIPHY
The second half of the week saw two important dwinking events happen at the same time within Viennas city centre, with the distance near enough between the two so one could stagger to and fro. The Wiener Bierfest has become as much an institution as the Waldviertel Tage (another Ostrich region presenting themselves in the heart of the Capital, clever move). The upcoming weekend will see trail reccies for the Eurohash weekend and on Monday we will have first the King Gook Memorial run. Read about him here.
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| High five at the Wiener Bierfest |
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| A lovely beertruck from the 1960s from the Zwetller Brewery at the Waldviertel Tage |
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| Self explanatoy |
via GIPHY
Wednesday, 10 May 2017
Two Virgins
Eurohash minus 58 days. Okay, we know that the title of this post has been ruthlessly stolen from a musical piece (sort of a whole album) by a very well known legend. In addition, it shall point out that last nights run up at the Liechenstein was set by two Virgin Hares (Lucky Me and Wayne F*cksky).
Memories of our Virgin Hare Experiences from 30 years ago with the Warsaw Hash came to mind when Se* Energy and yours truly reliably crossed our own fresh laid trails after having been out in the country. But with pracitice comes experience. The Liechenstein area, which is hilly, picturesque and full of forest paths also houses a Burg (castle) where for several decades Elfriede Ott, a famous Ostrich theatre Actress, performed theatre pieces by our beloved playwright Johann Nestroy (1801 - 1862).
The trail for the fair group of 25 Hounds started off in direction passing by the Burg Liechtenstein to our left, alongside one main walking/running path and then split into a walkers and a runners trail. Not long after that the ones who pretended to run a bit faster than the walking/swaying rest tried hard but unsuccessfully to find any more flourmarks. Heck, the Final Kuntdown (returnee of the week) was up front (it is only just to say that after he changed his diet he looks much slimmer and fitter).
As the right guess was that this trail would lead more or less straight back to the carpark Tickpleaser and I decided to do a bit of more scenic running and so we passed by the sights which are the Schwarze Turm and the ruins of the so called Amphi Theatre (all artifically built) and, after long last back to the carpark where we enjoyed the nonquality of brutally cheap beer (Skol, Steffl and the likes) and the beginning rain and chilling wind. (Thanks a LOT, RA Richard KOPF ;-)
Give the Hares credit for trying their best.
And, parts of last weeks ast weeks amount of trivia features that cussing can make you stronger. Be aware that if you belch too loud and there is an Ostrich law agent nearby you could get into trubble.
A song that I love listening to was done by the Chicago Transit Authority. later on known as Chicago. Read about the story of the Song here.
Memories of our Virgin Hare Experiences from 30 years ago with the Warsaw Hash came to mind when Se* Energy and yours truly reliably crossed our own fresh laid trails after having been out in the country. But with pracitice comes experience. The Liechenstein area, which is hilly, picturesque and full of forest paths also houses a Burg (castle) where for several decades Elfriede Ott, a famous Ostrich theatre Actress, performed theatre pieces by our beloved playwright Johann Nestroy (1801 - 1862).
The trail for the fair group of 25 Hounds started off in direction passing by the Burg Liechtenstein to our left, alongside one main walking/running path and then split into a walkers and a runners trail. Not long after that the ones who pretended to run a bit faster than the walking/swaying rest tried hard but unsuccessfully to find any more flourmarks. Heck, the Final Kuntdown (returnee of the week) was up front (it is only just to say that after he changed his diet he looks much slimmer and fitter).
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| The Schwarzer Turm overlooking Mödling |
As the right guess was that this trail would lead more or less straight back to the carpark Tickpleaser and I decided to do a bit of more scenic running and so we passed by the sights which are the Schwarze Turm and the ruins of the so called Amphi Theatre (all artifically built) and, after long last back to the carpark where we enjoyed the nonquality of brutally cheap beer (Skol, Steffl and the likes) and the beginning rain and chilling wind. (Thanks a LOT, RA Richard KOPF ;-)
Give the Hares credit for trying their best.
And, parts of last weeks ast weeks amount of trivia features that cussing can make you stronger. Be aware that if you belch too loud and there is an Ostrich law agent nearby you could get into trubble.
A song that I love listening to was done by the Chicago Transit Authority. later on known as Chicago. Read about the story of the Song here.
Wednesday, 3 May 2017
Long Way Home
Eurohash minus 66 days. After the first days of May have passed and I have just returned from a brief visit with some buddies to the local Heurigen of our choice I find if appropriate to summarize a few thoughts about last Sundays run, way out in Langenlois, home town of some very renowned makers of fine wines.
Lopsided Backside having celebrated one of the bigger birthdays did set another one a long way from our home in the south of Vienna (100 kilometres) but what is distance to a dedicated follower of Hash Fashion? No Balls Prize was the Co Hare, the crowd was huge (including long time no C Queenie) and the trail was described as a scenic one with two dwink stops (Beer and Softies) and in no time it was on off.
No false promises were made here as the trail was carefully leading all the way into the green and an abundance of vineyards, soon cameth along the first and not too long after that the second much welcomed drink stop. Even a panoramic platform with a view overlooking the better part of the Kamptal was provided and so it seemed to be appropriate that all were in good mood once the circle started.
Wife, 2 kids and yours truly decided in a sly move to evade that circle early in order to get food faster from the nearby OnAfter at the excellent Gasthaus Zwoni. On a different note, I may have been watching that one soccer game too many, but we have proof that at least German Soccer Players have tried to excel in making Hit Singles over the years. Listen for yourself to this remarkable musical example.
Lopsided Backside having celebrated one of the bigger birthdays did set another one a long way from our home in the south of Vienna (100 kilometres) but what is distance to a dedicated follower of Hash Fashion? No Balls Prize was the Co Hare, the crowd was huge (including long time no C Queenie) and the trail was described as a scenic one with two dwink stops (Beer and Softies) and in no time it was on off.
No false promises were made here as the trail was carefully leading all the way into the green and an abundance of vineyards, soon cameth along the first and not too long after that the second much welcomed drink stop. Even a panoramic platform with a view overlooking the better part of the Kamptal was provided and so it seemed to be appropriate that all were in good mood once the circle started.
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| A platform with no Hashers, food and drinks were served on a different date here |
Wife, 2 kids and yours truly decided in a sly move to evade that circle early in order to get food faster from the nearby OnAfter at the excellent Gasthaus Zwoni. On a different note, I may have been watching that one soccer game too many, but we have proof that at least German Soccer Players have tried to excel in making Hit Singles over the years. Listen for yourself to this remarkable musical example.
Tuesday, 25 April 2017
Old Red Wine
Eurohash minus 73 days. Today marks the 35th birthday of the Vindobona Hash House Harriers which is quite an achievement (Hashy birthday!). Old Red Wine, well past its prime. May have to finish it after crossing the line. Most of the Ostrich Hashers who run with the World's Worst these days have either not been born or were completely unaware what Hashing or the Hash House Harriers were or meant back then. (What did YOU do in 1982?) The Warsaw Hash which is Se* Energys and my Mother Hash was founded in April of 1983 and we joined their fold during an assignment in Poland in 1988.
Over the years here in Vienna the runs starting from the beloved Grüß Di A Gott Wirt have become a joyful tradition to both mark the start of the monday evening runs and the birthday run of the VH3. For the third time over the last ten years (starting off with the 25th anniversary) the great Vienna Pipes performed their art in the circle, there were fireworks, special runners like Beanman (only active Hasher that did run # 1 in Vindobona, see the very first Rehash here) and Mindphuck turned up, other survivors from Hashing year #1 here are Lord Glo-Balls, OVH and Cardinal Munk, OVH. As in every year, the trail led all the way up to the Hermannskogel (highest elevation point in Vienna) where numerous bottles of Sekt and tasty Chocolate cake were had and the inevitable anthem Tiny Bubbles by Don Ho was sung.
A special credit goes to the helping hands MOM and Mind the Gap who assisted Cardinal Munk in carrying the heavy load (lots of Sektbottles with lotsa kilos of Icecubes) up that fateful hill. And, of course, to Stefan, owner of the Grüß Di A Gott Wirt who always sacrifices his and his staffs free evening to be able to celebrate with us. Pics and (hopefully) a video of the Vienna Pipes taking it away will be posted when they are available.
Over the years here in Vienna the runs starting from the beloved Grüß Di A Gott Wirt have become a joyful tradition to both mark the start of the monday evening runs and the birthday run of the VH3. For the third time over the last ten years (starting off with the 25th anniversary) the great Vienna Pipes performed their art in the circle, there were fireworks, special runners like Beanman (only active Hasher that did run # 1 in Vindobona, see the very first Rehash here) and Mindphuck turned up, other survivors from Hashing year #1 here are Lord Glo-Balls, OVH and Cardinal Munk, OVH. As in every year, the trail led all the way up to the Hermannskogel (highest elevation point in Vienna) where numerous bottles of Sekt and tasty Chocolate cake were had and the inevitable anthem Tiny Bubbles by Don Ho was sung.
A special credit goes to the helping hands MOM and Mind the Gap who assisted Cardinal Munk in carrying the heavy load (lots of Sektbottles with lotsa kilos of Icecubes) up that fateful hill. And, of course, to Stefan, owner of the Grüß Di A Gott Wirt who always sacrifices his and his staffs free evening to be able to celebrate with us. Pics and (hopefully) a video of the Vienna Pipes taking it away will be posted when they are available.
Friday, 21 April 2017
Splendido
This song is posted for no particular reason apart from this gentleman being my favourite singer from Italy, and this song apparently had been inspired by another renowned musician.
Simple Expression
Eurohash minus 77 days. Eastermonday run in the midst of an amazing fortnight with weather conditions from plus 20 degrees down to a definite snow storm two days ago. These events have become a regular tradition that Ice Queen and Slush Puppie have established over the years and (no exaggeration from my side) these runs are getting constantly better. Starting off from the far side of the Perchtoldsdorfer Heide, the trail was constantly leading uphill – as usual with Eastereggs hidden at the checkpoints – and by the Parapluiberg Schutzhaus and even further and steeper uphill eventually to top at the Kammersteiner Hütte, crowned by an impressive view of the entire region atop a windy observation tower. Lots of wood garlic around and the highpoint for those not too fond of Eastereggs was without doubt the Eggnog (Eierlikör) stop. A creamy affair by all means.
Nice circle after a truly well planned run. My compliments to the Hares.
via GIPHY
Not a suitable type of tiny bubbles for our 35th birthday run on Monday, let's stick with the Sekt instead.
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| The Famous Pimpsqueak and... |
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| his newly acquired bunch of best drinking buddies |
Nice circle after a truly well planned run. My compliments to the Hares.
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| Slush Puppie and Ice Queen |
via GIPHY
Not a suitable type of tiny bubbles for our 35th birthday run on Monday, let's stick with the Sekt instead.
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