Sunday 1 April 2018


The annual spring run which is annually hared by Kuty PI and Prof. DDr. Felch, OVH annually takes place at a place called am Himmel in Vienna's 19th district, not for from the lovely Cobenzl area that saw very many good Hash run in the history of the World's Worst, most recently in July last year as a warm up run to Eurohash Week (look here for last years report).

Unfortunately no pics to embellish my scribblings (the Moron Brothers seem to be slacking these days), as the run started is way all the way downhill, muddy, slippery, rotten trees, you name it. After a few hundred metres it was back up again on an extremly steep ascent with neighbouring vines,neatly lined up. (There is an excellent Gemischter Satz being produced in the Cobenzl winery). Crossing the Höhenstraße and on left and up into the vast forest (this is still all within Vienna city limits, dear readers) and a couple kilometres further back across the Höhenstrasse made me ruminate whether the Hares would risk bringing us near the area of our first Monday evening runs which always start from Grüß Di A Gott Wirt, leading up to the highest elevation point in Vienna, the Hermannskogel.

Nah, obviously the powers that be had different plans and accordingly it was on back towards the Cobenzl area and after a bit more than an hour it was time for cool beers and a long circle. The reason for the longer than usual circle was the induction of Flying Dutchman to the fold of the order of the Vindobona Hash (OVH). The requirement for this is one thousand runs with the VH3, and in usual picturesque and funny looking manner and style FD was given the new moniker of REAR ADMIRAL The appropriate technique was displayed by two married couples (and heavily filmed by Pino the Frog and a few unknown bystanders).

Pics will be added when they are available. Nice run and momentous ceremony. The next OVH ceremony is immiment. Watch this space.

The original induction speech for the latest member of the OVH went like this:

[OVH-1, say Felch] “The Flying Dutchman (Dutch: De Vliegende Hollander) is a legendary ghost ship that can never make port and is doomed to sail the oceans forever. The myth is likely to have originated golden age of the Dutch East India Company (VOC). The oldest extant version has been dated to the late 18th century. Sightings in the 19th and 20th centuries reported the ship to be glowing with ghostly light. If hailed by another ship, the crew of the Flying Dutchman will try to send messages to land, or to people long dead. In ocean lore, the sight of this phantom ship is a portent of doom”. . . [Isn't wiki grrreat!]
[OVH-2, CardiMonk] “With this naval connection to his hash name, we have considered elevating Flying Dutchman to the rank of Admiral, for example to Schout-bij-nacht ( watch at night, night watch) as it is known in the Koninklijke Marine i.e. the Royal Dutch Navy.”

OVH-3, Morhaer] “On the other hand the Urban Dictionary tells us about the act of engaging in intercourse with a woman from behind i.e. Doggystyle - and using the momentum of the movement to propel the couple forward across a room. The man in this acrobatic performance  must hold his hands in the air and not otherwise balance or steady himself. . . . And it is claimed that making  a full circuit around a room entitles you be known as a Rear Admiral. Now that is interesting!“

OVH-4, Blessed Norman] So we have reached the opinion in the College of OVH’S that your Hash Moniker of Flying Dutchman should be preceded by the esteemed title of Rear Admiral, but only after you perform the following , as demonstrated now for us  .. . 
[At this stage enter a couple, let’s call them Prsa Kralovna and BraTitsLover of the Bratislava hash, who perform a demonstration around the circle]
“Now Flying Dutchman, you may choose your partner for the ceremonial cavorting around the circle. Then please stand behind this Harriet real close . .  and raise your arms [Harriet as “ volunteer” e.g. Boney M, ] Now you have to gyrate, do your business and FLY around the circle together.”

OVH-5, Lord Globalls]
“So, Flying Dutchman, you have - at last! - achieved, or should I say, suffered 1000 runs. And you have performed the special ceremony to the best (or worst ) of your ability.
Are you ready, willing, and dumb enuf to receive recognition of this, and be honoured by your assembled peers to be accepted into the ‘flying’ equivalent of the Mile High Club?”

[“Yes - or Ja" from FD] “Then I hand over this naval insignia [Admiral’s hat] to Cardinal Munk who will induct you into the esteemed and traditional Order of the Vindobona Hash, OVH” 
 [Hereby C Munk has usual freedom to say what ever he wants, should be in tune with what has gone before . . . and of course he will be wearing his robes, just as all the other OVHs are wearing their own  special attire for the occasion] 

After that, down down from Admiral’s hat , elevation by Lord G and C  Munk to:

Do you still remember the great Cow and Chicken cartoon series? They also had a rear admiral in their ranks.