Saturday 20 July 2019


Happy Moon Landing anniversary!


Keep the loonies on the path

Admire the Full Moon in the middle of summer on the eve of the 50th anniversary of the Moon Landing. A village that has in high probability never been brought in touch with Hash runs is Maria Lanzendorf, south of Vienna along the B11, old route that was the main connection to the motorway in direction of Hungary in the old days, before another connecting motorway, the S1 was opened 12 years ago.

Check the satellite Link! 

The meeting point which was the charming old train station (part of the Aspangbahn route) attracted the most usual suspect Mother Superior, OVH whose car was there already when we (S.Energy and yours truly) started to set the run. We successfully tiptoed our way by, not wanting to have a last minute's Cohare. (Though it must have been years when MS, OVH did set a run of his own. At the start time it was 13 Hashers altogether (with Free Willy inching his way towards OVH-status, only a few more runs to go) and that first part of the run we set leading through old back roads, then hitting the main road shortly, before running a bit on a levee alongside the waters of the Schwechat.

Some more quiet backroads and nice house to watch we got back onto the main road of the B11 for a short bit before taking this run home over the fields and alongside the train tracks (this and the station building would have been a dream come true for Lord Glo-Balls, OVH, Vindobonas Chief Engine Driver). In his absence it was left to Free Willy to chat a charming woman up whose dayshift at the railway station neared its end.

Short circle afterwards conducted by the Full Moon GM, featuring Newbie Just Michael. On-After at the nearby restaurant Toscana. Good food and effective service. 

Wednesday 17 July 2019

Workin' for the sweat of it

A warm monday evening with a kind of an unusual meeting point. The park and ride area of the Subway/Metro/Underground/Ubahn station Altes Landgut, located in the middle of a large roundabout with various roads leading to and fro a motorway (the A23) and several more main roads that fork off into Viennas vast 10th district. An explanation about the venues history was given by main Hare Primadonna (with CoHare Holy Roamin' Empress, OVH), furthermore the run offered a walkers and a runners trail. More history can be seen here.

Crossing the roundabout at the nearest trafficlight and on up to a few green elevations which offered an impressive view of the very nearby motorway. (History about this road here and there). Three of four turns further on there was no more motorway but some green lawns, garden houses and children playgrounds (and a public school for good measure).

Open up! 

There were kinda strange wooden parts that you wouldn't want to take your dog to (damaged furniture, heavy littering) and after these there was pure green again, and there were not too many checkpoints to be seen. Or maybe I was a tad too slow. A very interesting appartment bloc area came along called Monte Laa, where spacious parts of these appartment buildings were built directly above a tunnel of the motorway A23 that runs underneath. Still further on it was on back over a footbridge across the motorway, leading past the old Ankerbrot Factory, mainstay of Eurohash 2017 in Vienna.
Eventually the trail ended up where we went to a year ago already, which is a closed motorway ramp of the A 23 (the "Gesperrte Ausfahrt Simmering"). Imagine to walk up a hill, get yourselves over the nearest guardrail and watch the evening traffic float by, 250 metres from you. Crown that precious moment with - what? - an Egg liquor stop! Here is another impression of this venue. (We stayed on the other side but these roads lead together)

Watch out! 

No Hashers were harmed in the making of this picture

Partly the same procedure as last year, we entered the area of the Laaerberg with the amusement park Böhmischer Prater where we had a glorious beer stop 12 months ago. Not this time, but thats another story. The trails' last part was set all the way through the vast green forest area of the Böhmische Prater, alongside the recently new built soccer stadium of the club Austria Wien and at long last back to the cars.

Deep within Viennas 10th district

The feature of the circle was with no doubt cold beer in bottles, yet only two boxed were purchased by ze Hares. Sure, there was a certain amount of beer cans but equate 32 thirsty Hashers with the given amount of beer and TICK TOCK could you set your timer until the stuff ran out. Although, we had a funny circle  and two visitors from Eurohash who returned two years later (and another visitor from the Berlin Hash). Also, there was a beer mile organized on Bastille Day by the usual suspects Barefoot and Mr. Pink in the Park of Schönbrunn Castle. All in all, a truly scenic run and very well prepared.

Don't fence me in!

Lots of Moron Pics can be seen here.

The dog track

And the next standard run happened last Monday at the Figurteich where Hashes have been happening for 20 years (I think). Nearly punctual start at quarter to seven with 32 Hashers, it was announced (by me as a Hare) that this would be a slightly shorter run as there was a beerstop coming up in the nice guestgarden of the Bachstube in Mödling. The waitress on duty was friendly but really slow, so we were sitting there for 45 minutes. That was not a bad thing as such, but there was the next OVH induction to happen during the circle.

Consequently, the short way back to the carpark of the Figurteich lasted no longer than 15 minutes and since it was a windy evening and not too hot, the circle was held at the carpark (in big contrast to most previous occasions). A few deserved Down Downs were handed out and then it was time for the induction ceremony for Slush Puppie, here is the unabridged speech.

LGB, CM, BSN, MH, RAd, PDF, MS,HRE, GMdT, MT + Bearer of Heilige Vindobona JS (HVB)
Enter procession with LGB first
Semi circle formed with CM, HVB and Heilige Vindobona in the centre.

CM: We are gathered here to commemorate a historic moment in the annals of Vindobona history. For today we will induct Horst ‘Slush Puppie’ Höllhumer into the order of the Vindobona Hash.
LGB Being of unsound mind and body, the heralded Slush Puppie is now the tenth to have reached the 1000th run plateau. Due to the inflationary number of Hashers reaching OVH status, we will accept just one more candidate after Slush Puppie and we will then shut down the bandwagon for two or three years.
MH It is through his unbending will, determination and stubbornness , his blood, sweat and beers that has enabled him to obtain the heights of this great honour.
( CM will motion to the candidate that he should stand before the members )
CM Slush Puppie you shall now kneel before the members of the OVH for the purification stage.

SP kneels

This question is directed to the throng:
and the despicable throng will answer   IT IS JUST!!!!!!!!!
CM: Candidate , When we give you the sign of the Heilige Vindobona, you shall reply “I swear’
LGB :Do you swear that you have truly not offered Bottles of cold Freistädter Beer to anyone (including me) for the position that has been conferred upon you. Answer  ’I swear’
RAd :Do you swear that you will always maintain creative positions as Franzl (together with Sissi) when the time comes to demonstrate the evolution of the Habsburg love life in the most erotic way to our very divine and pious hash?    Answer  ’I swear’
HRE: Will you continue to present your and HRE's spitting image by continually distribute your sputum from every bridge crossing during a run? Answer ‘I swear’
PDF: Will you encourage your lovely wife to continue her most popular Beer Can Crushing routine ? Answer ‘I swear’.
GmdT, MT Will you furthermore encourage your lovely wife to take up her famous egg crushing routine again, i.e. Crushing hard boiled eggs on innocent Hashers heads by using her impressive mammalian protuberances? Answer ‘I swear’
BSN Do you promise to revive the famous Curling performance you gave us just once many years ago on a winter run by using an old tea kettle and an even older broom? Answer ‘I swear’

MH Will you encourage yourselves (your wife and you that is) to resurrect the legendary Dump your Christmas tree run at least once within the next ten years? Answer ‘I swear’
GmdT, MT Do you swear when the time comes for the next stolen elections at the AGM in November to mix your glorious election cocktail again together with HRE, consisting of at least 15 different hard drinks in one pitcher, all shaken but by no means stirred? Answer ‘I swear’.
RAd Do you swear that you will continue to come up with unusual run locations that have never been used before, thereby bringing much joy to the despicable throng that is surrounding you? Answer ‘I swear’

LGB We are content with the evidence given
CM In the name of the Vindobona hash and the sacred pater pivo, cleanse this candidate of his horrid wanking ways and guide him from his manic depressive drunkeness. Amen.
CM The candidate will forevermore be called PRINCE OF BARKNESS, SLUSH PUPPIE, OVH

The HV is handed to CM by HVB who then taps, right, then left shoulder then rubs head then passes the HV on to the other members of the OVH to do likewise.
After this is done CM says,  PRINCE OF BArKNESS " Arise and receive your articles of office!."
PDF, BSN, HM, HRE assist Prince of Barkness with his clothing of honour
LGB and RAd then help pin on the medal of the OVH.
CM: PRINCE OF BARKNESS  , Go forth and spread the good works of the OVH!
Open bottles of Sekt 
HRE You may now pour Sekt for your favourite Harriette, which means me.
Procession (the newest OVH first, … the first OVH)

The newest member of the Order of the Vinbobona Hash ((VH)

Moron pics can be watched here. All hail the Prince of Barkness! 

Wednesday 3 July 2019

Mild shvitzing

Way out there in Transdanubia lies the beach house that belongs to Justin Beaver and his old lady, venue of the annual Beaver run. In contrast to all previous years the start was moved into Groß-Enzersdorf as "the way into the Lobau is a bit too far from the Beaver Villa" (so the Hare told me). A huge turnout of no less than 42 Hashers came along, also to commemorate the loss of Pocahontits (see the previous post).

On yet another hot day and after a few pre run explanations it was more or less straight on into an area of thick forest, interspersed with water, lakes and such. The area of the Lobau not only where Napoleon got taught a lesson in 1809, it is also a truly beautiful recreational area, partly inside and partly nearby Vienna. Much running on forest paths and near various small lakes was done when a beerstop came. consisting of JUST ONE BEERCAN (in total).

I wanna be a forest ranger, I wanna live a life of danger?

Further on the trail split into a runners and a walkers trail, I courageously set out to finish the long part when suddenly a well known bridge crossing and car park came up, which was of course the oft used carpark behind the Autokino (venue of LGB's induction into OVH rank, the very first one way back).On back to our own carpark of the evening, a few cold drinks and the circle. Before the circle started we held a minute's silence in memory of Pocahontits, followed by RA Moehair reading out a very personal tribute by Whoppa.

After the circle it was swimming in the Donau-Oder Kanal, fine grilling in the garden of the beach house and the bucket full of water that went over the neighbours fence seemed to mark an end point to a pleasant yet sad evening.

Moron pics can be seen here