Friday 29 November 2019



it is still Novembre as I am writing this and as usual, Holy Roamin' Empress and Prince of Barkness, both OVH again came up with a location that differed from most other places we used to run as one simply can't get much further to the southeastern Vindobona City Limit than was the case here.

On the farthest end of Favoriten, Viennas 10th and vast district, the Gasthaus Brückenwirt sits right next to a bridge crossing the Liesingbach and this is where this run started, equipped with runners and partly walkers trails. 10 minutes into the run the Hares reinvented a great tradition that I had completely forgotten about, which is the presentation of the Beaujolais Nouveau. They wisely bought two bottles which were consumed at the speed of light and brought back fond memories of days long gone spent in France.

Ca veut dire quoi?

Embellishing the trail with a walk between a deserted childrens playground and a backroad that seemed to lead nowhere, the huge switchyard Kledering and its numerous locomotives could be admired from afar; one does not get to see these things everyday.

Here comes Ivor, the dirty Engine driver to make you feel alright

Where is number four?

A different view 

After the train view it was on off into the fields, for quite some and again splint into runners and walkers paths. On In to the carpark followed soon thereafter. A fine run at the end of November, with full steam ahead to the Festive Season.

Open ze Gate! 

We watch in AW

Hashy Birthday Court Jester, OVH 

Here are the Moron Pics! 

Tuesday 19 November 2019

When Vienna doesn't Waltz

Middle of November on another mild afternoon, not too far from home in neigbouring Biedermannsdorf, Last Sunday was also the 150th anniversary of the Suez Canal opening (now a shortcut through the desert was possible for ships and here is another interesting article), a musical tribute to this anniversary will be given at the end of this post.

Somewhere, way out there

The trail that my charming wife allowed me to help setting consisted of parts of dog walking/jogging/biking routes and was most fitting for an aging bunch of Worlds Worst Hashers, starting off along the not so busy streets of that village, some residential area and a long stretch of open fields and wind. All was mended at the ensuing Song Stop where everyone happily bellowed to the tune of the Good Ship Venus.

OnOn into the next neighbouring village of Laxenburg and a bit alongside a waterway, nice impression. 


Some 15 minutes later through further green areas it was on back to the carpark, with a lively circle to follow. The Famous Pimpsqueak was the returnee of the week, King Ralph reached his 700th run (congrats!) and Dutch Friend Just Robert made his Hashing Debut. It remains to be seen if he ever returns.

This man may not be English

Mirror image

700 and counting

Just Robert and Cardinal Munk, OVH 

Moron Pics are here.

Moon Moods

Making good use of a short time window - no help with the schoolwork of our daughter, no walking the dog - I was free to take the nearby public transport connection into the heart of the Ostrich Capital and walk the short distance over to Schwarzenbergplatz, with its commemorative landmark water fountain.

Heavy clouds but a Full Moon nonetheless. 

A dozen or so Hashers took off - walking that is - in the direction of the Heumarkt and there was an immediate first highlight when the trail was leading straight through the entrance area of the noble Konzerthaus, where there was an event about to start. As there were many concert goers, we didn't get too many funny looks, let alone maybe for Walrus' impressive hat/cap/wig.

On along the ice skating rink of the Heumarkt (where Holy Roamin' Empress, OVH found out about the Worlds Worst Hash many years ago) and into the nearby Stadtpark still walking with the exception of Mr. Pink and Pussy Whipped it was on further across the Ringstrasse and eventually....

As I am writing this it is 35 days till Christmas Eve 
There is a new shop in the centre of town called the Weihnachtssalon and they stay open all year round. Which is charming for  Christmas junkies like Prof. DDr. Felch, OVH (see above) and yours truly. And they do count the days down to Christmas and that blackboard, all year round.
A few minutes on there is another new drinking place called the Bürgerliche Brauerei, right next to the well known Flanagans Irish Pub. A beer stop was called - pay for your own, no more commercial beer stops sponsored by the Hash -  and everyone went in. from what I could tell, happy faces all around.

This sure tasted fine

A superior Geography quiz

After the beer stop, a short way back to the start and an appropriate circle. Mr. Pinmk excelled himself with a double stiff arm Down Down, and, talking about Full Moon runs, this chapter hit the (a) local newspaper scene. 

Tales from the other side of town! 

More Moron Pics can be seen here.

Sunday 10 November 2019

Circus of Becoming

AGM Day, Annual Grand Meeting, or AGPU, Annual Grand Piss Up like this assembly of remarkable weird was referred to at the Paris Hash in the 1990s came up. Following a long tradition (uninterrupted since 2002) the Worlds Worst Hash gathers in the depths of the Prater, behind the Lusthaus where the wonderful Gösser Bierinsel is located, a Gasthaus we most rightfully chose as our local Hash House.

Tradition and not rule has it that the GM and the RA set the run on AGM day and so it was to Moehair Richard Kopf, OVH and yours truly to come up with a little exercise before the long part of different kind of entertainment would start. Full credit goes to the Cohare Moehair (no pun intended) for he set the main part of that run and came up with the old idea of going round the picturesque Lusthauswasser again.

Greening the Scenery

A bit further on, in an adjacent part of the forest after storking over a lot of dead wood was a Whisky Stop. Pity that 95 % of the pack had already continued the trail so it was left to a precious few to sip genuine Scottish Whisky (Whisky or Whiskey is the question here!). After that short interlude it was on back to the carpark and the circle. Like the preceding week, there were several Hashy Birthdays to celebrate, so a bottle of Prosecco was presented and shared between a merry lot of 7 or 8.


In direct succession the next OVH ceremony was announced, this time for Free Willie. Read the unabridged speech here (or then and there):   

All the current members of the Order of the Vindobona Hash! 

 LGB, CM, BSN, MH, RAd, PDF, MS,HRE, GMdTMT, PoB + Bearer of Heilige Vindobona JS (HVB)  (Joystick was absent)
Enter procession with LGB first
Semi circle formed wit PROCESSION h CM, HVB and Heilige Vindobona in the centre.
CM: We are gathered here to commemorate a historic moment in the annals of Vindobona history. For today we will induct Ronald „Free Willie“ Willis into the order of the Vindobona Hash.
LGB Being of very unsound mind and body, the heralded Free Willie is now the eleventh to have reached the 1000th run plateau. Like they say in Merry Old England, „if you made your first eleven, then you'd be sure to get to heaven“. With todays candidate in front of us I am not so sure about this wish to come true. After todays ceremony an OVH induction Siesta will be declared for the time being.
MH It is through his unbending will and determination, his blood, sweat and beers that has enabled him to obtain the heights of this great honour.
( CM will motion to the candidate that he should stand before the members )
CM Free Willie you shall now kneel before the members of the OVH for the purification stage.
FW kneels
This question is directed to the throng:
and the despicable throng will answer IT IS JUST!!!!!!!!!
CM: Candidate , When we give you the sign of the Heilige Vindobona, you shall reply “I swear’
LGB :Do you swear that you have truly not offered Cans of cheap and warm Ottakringer Beer to anyone (including me) for the position that has been conferred upon you? YUCK!
RAd :Do you swear that you will always continue to blow your out-of-tune Hash Horn to lead the World's Worst Hash astray during the next four decades as well? Answer ’I swear’
HRE: Will you continue to lay much too long trails even though we all try everything humanly possible to prevent you from doing so? Answer ‘I swear’
PDF: Will you continue to tell and encourage others to listen to your jokes during our circles which are unfunny at a ratio of 99,9 % ? Answer ‘I swear’.
GmdT, MT Will you furthermore try to persuade everyone at the Worlds Worst Hash to make the umpteenth trip down to yet another Hash event in Payerbach to meet your buddy and Hotelowner Overworked and Underfucked? Answer ‘I swear’
BSN Do you promise to perform the All Blacks Haka to all the gapers in the circle just one more time? Answer 'I swear'.

MH Do you swear to try your best to uphold the centuries old Scottish-New Zealand ties? 'I swear'
And can you tell us all here what the town name of Dunedin (Gaelic) means to non Gaelic speaking Hashers? (ANSWER: It means Edinburgh, Dunedin is known as the Edinburgh of the South and twinned with the Scottish capital).

MS Do you swear to become as talkative and witty as me ?? (HA-HA!) Answer 'I swear'.

LGB We are content with the evidence given
CM In the name of the Vindobona hash and the sacred Pater Pivo, cleanse this candidate of his horrid wanking ways and guide him from his manic depressive drunkeness. Amen.
CM The candidate will forever more be called COURT JESTER, FREE WILLIE, OVH

We cannot say enough about the Court Jester, newest OVH!

The HV is handed to CM by HVB who then taps, right, then left shoulder then rubs head then passes the HV on to the other members of the OVH to do likewise.
After this is done CM says, " Arise and receive your articles of office!."
PDF, BSN, HM, HRE assist with his clothing of honour
LGB and RAd then help pin on the medal of the OVH.
CM: Court Jester , Go forth and spread the good works of the OVH!
Open bottles of Sekt
HRE You may now pour Sekt for your favourite Harriette, which of course means me.
Procession (the newest OVH first, … the first OVH)

AGM discussion time immiment! 

The actual AGM featured a new and half self-elected Speaker Barefoot (who did a grandiose job in conducting the ensuing voting chaos), various announcement, reports and long intense discussions about various motions which were presented to change and further develop our Worlds Worst Habits into the next Hashing year. Four long hours later I felt a bit exhausted but also impressed. Blimey! 

The memory of the Noble John Bercow lives on! 

Moron Pics made by their newest Member Horsedick can be seen here.


Thursday 7 November 2019

Duly qualified

How lucky we were. The usual suspects Cardinal Munk, OVH, Dodgy Condom, Lopsided Backside and yours truly teamed for an early morning opening drink at the Englische Reiter, renowned and wonderful beer place of its own opposite the Schweizerhaus and shortly before 11 a.m. it was on to the other side of the road into Viennas most famous Beergarden, yet again, still alive and very thirsty!

Peace in the neighbourhood

Luck had it that we could grab a table right next to the beercounter. That table was lovingly decorated with a tablecloth provided by Lopsided Backside and within very shortly Multiple Entry showed up. Our numbers were augmented by Victoria's Secret, St.Norman, OVH, Rowed Runner, and later on Prince of Barkness and Holy Roamin' Empress, both OVH, No Balls Prize, Just Robert from the Netherlands (and there is another certain Just Robert who happens to have a house adress that reads "Danube, stream kilometre 1.927,875" ( I swear this is true) and in the evening S. Energy with our house guest from Germany Just Martina came by for a glass of wine or two. All in all those opening- and closing days are a vivid example of Hash camaraderie and thirst for good beer that is never quenched.

The Moron pics should be available here in a pic folder that is still empty by the time I am writing this.


Blue Skies

So we were called back again to the location of Stadlweg #3, somewhere in Viennas 21st district, for the third time in 2019. The never ending local Indian Summer provided lots of sun and Blue Skies. Victoria's Secret, duly assisted by Her Roamin' Empress, OVH, showed us that there are more than two different ways to get through the amazing widths of the 21st district. Despite being an Ostrich myself, most of this is terra incognita for me. On the other hand, no one is forbidden from getting to know her/his capital city a little better.

And the piece of Flotsam we never seem to get successfully rid of in the form of Multiple Entry resurfaced again, with a couple more appearences in the next two posts.

Very nice run altogether with an abundance of cold beers (and other drinks), many thanks for that. Plus a box of birthday tarts was provided by Tickpleaser, who celebrated his 50th a few days ago and can now referred to as being really old. ;-)

You're never fully dressed without a smile 

There you have it 

Compare the old and the new

Lots of Brits and one Scot

It all ends here 

Many more Moron pics can be seen here.