Thursday, 8 November 2018

They're coming to take me away

AGM day, always on the first Sunday in November. And for the seventeenth consecutive year at our own World's Worst Hash House, the Gösser Bierinsel in the Prater, near the Lusthaus. Ice Queen had reached the Landmark of 1000 runs with the VH3 a few weeks earlier (search the blog for that September entry) and an induction ceremony into the OVH was announced at the end of the Hash circle.

Quite a short and standard-type run was set by GM Casting Couch and RA Morehair Richard von F-Kopf, leading alongside and around the Lusthauswasser and, with the possibility for the walkers to get back early to the carpark. And then it was time for the induction OVH ceremony for Ice Queen. Here comes the unabridged speech, given by all current members of the Order of the Vindobona Hash:

(Masthead election results I hear you asking? Einmal der Gigl, einmal der Gogl.)

The Order of the Vindobona Hash during the induction ceremony for Ice Queen

CM Before this auspicious ceremony can begin, I must announce that the Heilige Vindobona has taken a short visit to the land of the Holy Sea. Its replacement is related but not in name, it is its left hand.
Procession (the newest OVH first, … the first OVH)
LGB:  Will the Hasher presently known as Ice Queen step forward!
(Heilige Vindobona Bearer – Mother Superior ( HVB) puts the Holy Vindobona (HV) on ground and escorts candidate to the centre of the semicircle)
 LGB: Will you please kneel before us!
( HVB helps push candidate gently to her knees……Returns to the HV)
MH: Today you see before you an elite group of members who have completed a total of over 8,000 runs. The Order of the Vindobona Hash is here to acknowledge another candidate who has reached the 1000th run plateau. The candidate must first answer a series of questions before she is accepted amongst our hallowed ranks.
It gives me great pleasure to see her squirm before our very eyes ( HA , HA, HA, etc Laughs evilly ).
Prof.DDr: You currently bare the name Ice Queen, but we need to find out if you are worthy as a Female Royal? Examination is required to determine if you are wearing a chastity beat and also to verify your vital statistics. Rear Admiral will examine the back whilst I will examine the Udderside (Takes out a straw and starts jabbing it everywhere on the victim’s body.)                                                                     
BSN: No no dear Professor, that is not the way to treat the coming OVH. Dignity is required. Particularly amongst the OVH English Gentlemen. 
MH :Lets get on with this damn ceremony! Otherwise Cardinal Munk will bring out his Gong.
LGB: Not before I inquire into the financial status of the Candidate. After all we just don’t take the riff-raff,.She should have aristocratic  lineage or other exceptional qualities.
May I ask as to how much you have in your investments? I will be needing another car in the near future…. Can you assure me tax free status for life ?
MH: Enough of the frivolity. The questions will be asked.  The Candidate will place her hand on the Heilige Vindobona and reply with “I swear” to the following inquiries.
(Mother Superior puts the Heilige Vindobona in front of the Candidate)
Rear Ad:   Will you show yourself gentle and merciful to the poor, the drunken ,all dogs (including Slush Puppy) and even those who are at the Rear end of the pack ?
                           I swear
MH    Will you excite the Harriers in the circle, so much so that they get a stiff … arm ?
                           I swear
RAd    Will you bring on appropriate occasions, barrels of the best beer in Vienna from Salmbraü ? So then we can Frig in the Rigg’n.
                            I swear
BSN    Will you watch out for appropriate landmarks upon the trail, including the passing of water and particularly the number 69 ?
                            I swear
MH And now the final 3 questions, after which the name will be conferred : 
CM:   Will you look after the weak and needy, those who have fallen on the ice, and most importantly will you continue to be the holy hash nurse visiting me in hospital ?  
                         I swear
RAd:   Will you continue to roam’n through various Countries, spreading the word that Vindobona is still the World’s Worst Hash ?
                           I swear.
Prof, DDr,    Will you continue to empress eggs with your anatomy your over Slush Puppies head and perform all ceremonies required of your position including greeting Kaiser Franz alias Franzl?                                                             
                            I swear  
CM:    Candidate IQ, you have proven that you are worthy of the stately honour of being one of the OVH. You are the first Harriette who has achieved this distinction and are therefore the first and fastest lady. With your new elevation of rank also comes new responsibilities… ? Wearing your articles of office outside of specified festivities is forbidden. Otherwise you will be eternally spanked with that board thing you so graciously gave us commemorating your 1000th Run
So by the Authority vested in me and in the name of the Holy Vindobona and the power that which drives us to drink,
 We now officially proclaim you as
                                                             "HOLY ROAMIN´ EMPRESS”
The HV is handed to CM by HVB who then taps, right, then left shoulder then rubs head then passes the HV on to the other members of the OVH to do likewise.
After this is done CM says,   " Arise and receive your articles of office!."
Prof,DDr, BSN, HM assist the Holy Roaming Empress with her clothing of honour
LGB and RAd then help pin on the medal of the OVH.
CM:  Holy Roamin Empress, Go forth and spread the good works of the OVH!
Open bottles of Sekt  

Holy Roamin' Empress, OVH

Saturday, 3 November 2018

A Health to the Company

Certain traditions are being upheld chez le World's Worst and one such tradition is the gathering of likeminded drinkers at the opening and closing day ceremonies of the Schweizerhaus. The usual suspects, augmented by a surprise appearance of S*x Energy, Dodgy Condom, Lopsided Backside (right there from the beginning and many thanks for all the Halloween gear you brought along!) and MOM all had starting drinks at the Englische Reiter (another great beer place!) opposite the Schweizerhaus (before they open up their place) and punctually at 11 a.m. it was on over to our table.

Along came Nail Me, The Blessed Saint Norman, OVH together with Rowed Runner and even Morehair Richard von F-Kopf carried his Chopsticks onto the beery surroundings. A non Hashing friend Just Robert from the Netherlands, great photographer also stayed with and happily wrote me a few lines about his "heavy head" the next day. 'nuff written, here are a few pics. And the next opening on March 15 in 2019 will be on A Friday.

Another great beer place opposite of the Schweizerhaus 

Lopsided Backside 

Snappy dressing by a Non Harriette 

Very well known 

Nail Me and LB


Also not unknown

The ghost of Fritz Wagner? 

Shake it all about

Finnish Hokey Pokey occurred last Sunday in Vösendorf when Horsedick and Smoking P*nis, both of partially Finnish origin, did the local Hokey Pokey for the World's Worst. Which consisted of running long and flat stretches on a grey Sunday afternoon in a Vindobonian Suburb. This suburb comprises a big lot of various shopping centres, a motorway that runs mostly underneath the town centre (and that involved a lot of tunneldigging in former years), an astounding amount of building acitivity (appartment blocks that is) and just one main road through it all.

Luckily the car park was well chosen at the beginning of that very main road and off we went - or rather walked. As we all are getting older the speed of running constantly decreases year by year. The variety in the local scenery was the constant switching between motorway panorama, wide open fields, the local cemetery and building shells of appartment blocks. The Hares split the trail in a runners and a walkers section, at one checkpoint runners and walkers were coming along from various directions, for reasons never explained.

Leningrad Cowgirl, a blast from our Hashing past came by for the first time in a long time (ashes on my head for not recognising her) and Pocahontits completed the Finnish quartet by gracing us all with her presence.

There were three birthyear Hashers, namely Horsedick, Smoking P*enis and Mister Pink each awarded with Down Downs. Halfway normal-length circle and nearby Pizzeria for the OnIn ensuing.

Sunday, 28 October 2018

You saw the Whole of the Moon

Most of us remember Irate Rover who left some time ago and moved back to Northern Ireland. He once used to live alongside the Nußdorfer Lände, close to where the Nordbrücke crosses the River Danube.

The October Full Moon had just passed, we have seen Moon topic Movies, we know that the Moon ain't made of green cheese and, being a non-regular to our Full Moon runs, I was surprised to see more than 20 Full Moon runners.

Kuty Pi, being a Hare of the sportive sort used quite a bit of the 19th district area and god knows how many quiet streets with just posh houses we did run through until the pre-announced drink stop, the Buschenschank Wanderer am Nussberg was reached. Weisswein gespritzt and Beers made everyone happy and then it was on back downhill, sometimes through the pitchdark until the Donaukanal and the car park came along again. A fine run altogether. Moron pics will be added when they are available.

Friday, 26 October 2018

Number 14 Bus

No run report this time. Just a few pics I find worth posting for everyones entertainment. And some good music of course. On to to-nites Full Moon Run a little later on.

The Vindobona Hash Blog Editorial Department. Or maybe not. 

This belongs to a great Irish Pub in Vienna

Lots of Hash Trash

VH3 AGM will be on Sunday next week 

Not far from home 

After the wine event 

Are you not?

Sunday, 14 October 2018

Rise and Shine

On Wednesday last week, the receding Hareline showed a void for to-days run. Then Lopsided Backside volunteered and Se. Energy jumped on the Bandwagon. The endless summer, elongated into autumn provided another marvellous and sunny day so the run could start off from the carpark of Gumpoldskirchen Trainstation more or less on time.

Bummer McAgram, dear Friend of the World's Worst and longtime and original religious advisor of our sister Hash in Zagreb passed away a few days ago, therefore Rowed Runner, The Blessed Saint Norman, OVH and Free Willie decided to spend 7 hours driving back and forth to Strmec, Croatia and staying there for 6 hours to attend the ZH3 commemoration run for Bummer aka Zorki. 

Zagreb commemoration run for Bummer McAgram with Viennese visitors


The local afternoon run was elegantly set and in contrast to last weeks traffic extravaganza there were no long car cues and there was more enough space to park everyone's car. The trail was leading up  and into the vineyards, winding up and down the Wasserleitungsweg and eventually to a song stop where the runners and walkers trail split. Beautiful panorama was on offer and after a not too long while it was on back to Gumpoldskirchen where the Hares excelled themselves by calling for a dwink stop at a local Heurigen (Wine and Beer in plenty for everyone). The circle was opened and St.Norman, Lord Glo-Balls, Morehair, all OVH and others (Ice Queen, Free Wilie) shared amusing stories about Bummer McAgram and the influence he had on initiating our friendly ties with the Zagreb Hash. A worthy run for a fitting commemoration of a late friend.
Moron pics to be added when they are online. 

The walkers group after the song stop

This land is your land 

Further uphill 

Oh my GOSH oh my Golly!

After two weeks of non Hashing I steered my car up towards the Cobenzl, location of a run Hared by Grand Mattress, 2Bob and The Blessed St. Norman, OVH. As the summer does not seem to end this year (or at least the fair temperatures) it was a long and disastrous drive up the hills, only to find a plethora of Sunday drivers and packed carparks on all the numerous Gasthäuser along the Wiener Höhenstrasse.

When I arrived 40 minutes late (my own fault I know), the Cobenzl carpark was unaccessible (completely full) and cars were parked all along the Höhenstrasse (which of course is forbidden) but what the heck and OH MY GOSH our visitors were all female from the Girls Only Hash in Surrey, 19 Harriettes came to visit the more visual sites of the World's Worst. Naturally I only saw them all at the circe. When I tried to do at least the walkers trail, marks disappeared behind parked cars (only to reappear on packed pavements) later on and all I could find was the In trail which shortened my efforts to some 40 minutes (and another drive home that lasted well over an hour). Beanman was another very late latecummer and No Mercy Mistress returned home as she couldn't find any plac to park her car.
One of those GOSH ladies had done 1700 runs in her Hashing life. Well, the Surrey Hash was founded in 1975, well before our own one.

GOSH Harriettes in Vindobona



The last Monday run in 2018 brought forth a new member for the elitist Order of the Vindobona Hash (OVH), namely Ice Queen who reached the mark of 1000 runs on that day. Assisted by CoHare and Husband Slush Puppie the run covered some back parts of the 3rd district (yet another HUGE building area with uncountable BIG building blocks) near the Rennweg in Viennas 3rd district. Ice Queen, whose official inclusion ceremony into the ranks of the OVH is still pending, distributed beermug-shaped decorated wood plates that one can easily to cut bacon and cheese upon, for instance (see photos below).

The run was a short and easy affair and a possiblilty for me to catch a few moments in time (take photos) as both Moron Brothers are still slacking in that respect (with making their pics public). After just 40 minutes it was back to the carpark already. The celebratory Down Down for Ice Queen was handed out by Lopsided Backside in noble fashion (jubilee spanking for IQ with the wooden beer mug included) . Sincere congratulations to the first Harriette for reaching the 1000 run mark and setting a target for the next potential OVHers.


Pointing things out 

Clothes off?

A former VH3 On In, now defunct

Monday Piggies

Occasionally there are stories being told around the Elders of the World's Worst about runs in former years that were followed by clay-pigeon shooting contests and suckling pig menus as designates On Afters. King Ralph advertised for one such occasion (the second mentioned) to be held at a very special Gasthaus (The Gasthaus zur Alm) that borders on the area of the former Vienna Nordwestbahnhof (read about the history of this place here). The former terminal station for freight trains has been moved to Viennas 23rd district a few years ago and slowly but true building blocks are mushrooming all around, leaving just a bit of the old panorama to admire (and to set parts of a Hashrun through).

In search of the old freight train

Many years ago Needleman set a remarkable run around this area which has changed profoundly, compared to what it once looked like. The first and short part of the run covered the rest of the old and now shabby train station area, then further on across the newly built area and eventually onto the Donauinsel. A special contest of throwing and catching raw eggs was announced and carried out, can't remember the winner.

Raw eggs were handed out by Pop Your Cork 

The way back to the carpark was an overlong one further along the Donauinsel. Victoria's Secret, Cardinal Munk, OVH and myself decided to cut it short and arrived way earlier than all the other runners. The upside to this was earlier access to beer in the Gasthaus. The obvious downside was a circle in darkness as well having had to wait a while. Well done nonetheless.

After the suckling pig dinner
All pics from this run can be seen here.


Thursday, 11 October 2018

After the rain has gone

Rowed Runner, Sleeping Partner and the Blessed Saint Norman, OVH were responsible for the first September run of this year, starting from Bernreiterplatz in the 21st district. On my way over the venue there thick black clouds hanging in the air and some of them resulted in an enormous downpour which washed away most of the track, so at least it seemed to me.

Also late were King Ralph and Lucky Me and together we tried our best to find some markings, the pack seemed to be long gone. The first part to the Marchfeldkanal (yet again) seemed relatively easy, but from then on it became increasingly difficult to read the Hares' minds and intentions. After a while I found myself running on my own and at some point there were no more markings. That doesn't mean much to the proud owner a just half a mind, and after several hundred metres a flower blob was visible again (I confess by then I had turned on a Maps App on my phone) and in the beginning darkness and with tired legs I reached the Gerasdorfer Straße. Being from the other side of town, this is mostly Terra Incognita for me (and the flower marks were gone again) hence I decided to play it easy and ran back all straight over the Brünner Straße to the carpark again.

The sad thing was that several walkers/latecummers missed a Beerstop. Enough cold beer at the circle made up for that. The OnIn at the nearby Jedlersdorfer Alm was a full reconciliation for the tired runner.

No pics this time but a theme song :-

Joyeux Anniversaire

Continuing with the cycle of trad-runs this next one is the annual birthday run of My Pint of View, who was supported by Kuty PI (Birthyear run) to set a run of medium length which started from his hut, up there near the Exelberg somewhere. We were late as we picked up Cardinal Munk, OVH which resulted a) in bad traffic and b) chaotic search and find action that made us arrive 10 minutes late at the carpark (together with Deodorant I hasten to add).

Catching up with the pack was a matter of 15 minutes (we found the walking group) and I was surprised when that run was leading back on the other side of the hill to the carpark after 45 minutes already. Birthday down downs, circle and BBQing and My Pints extensive porch in the Darkness followed.

The Happy Hares

Pics of this run to be viewed here.

Twisting by the pool

Having all those traditional runs laid out by Hash Lash at the beginning of the Vindobona Hash year is not such a bad thing. One of these evergreens is the Entenhausen (Duckville) run somewhere in the 21st district, hared by DDr. Felch, OVH and hosted by In-cock-nee-toe. These runs usually cover one part of the other of an area located not far from the A22, which is the Donauufer Autobahn, and of course the Donauinsel which is close nearby.

Yet another hot summer evening allowed for swimming and grilling afterwards, but before that the trail led on out alongside the Marchfeldkanal and - who would have thought? - after half an hour of creepy crawling through the road maze in that part of town on over to the Donauinsel. A mean checkpoint with a steep climb to follow enabled the walking pack to easily overtake the few remaining runners on our way back and nearer my swimming pool to thee, so to speak. A cruel hoax (where is Slush Puppie when one needs him?) was the promise of a beer stop which of course was not kept. thereby increasing the Hares inpopularity. But those thoughts were washed away in the pool after the run.

A frolicking couple in the water!

Urban Gardening 
Happy together! 

All pics from this run can be viewed here.

RIP Bummer McAgram 1948 - 2018

Chief Ironhat from our sister Hash in Zagreb spread the word that Zorki aka Bummer McAgram, Religious Advisor á la bonheur and a great friend of the Vindobona Hash, has passed away. He was a very funny guy and caught my attention for always wearing pink track suits when he visited one of the World's Worst Hash events, alongside with many another Hero from the ZH3. Rest in peace Bummer and thanks for the great memories. Pass on our regards to King Gook, Air Franci, The Wolf and all other Hashers up there on the other side.

RIP Zorki aka Bummer McAgram (pic provided by The Blessed Saint Norman, OVH)

Sunday, 16 September 2018

Set your Heart at Rest

Before I start to scribble about this one, here are two pics that relate back to the previous post:

A racehorse jockey?

Hashhound Just Melios is taking a break in Eichgraben

At the hilltop on Bisambergs Senderstrasse there is a spacious carpark, suitable for a much bigger Hashcrowd than there was present on this evening (and I am talking about 35 people already). This very carpark was the site where, in the OLD days of the World's Worst, when we even had a Hashit Trophy to be given out weekly, and that very trophy which was toilet seat, was to be run over by the car of Richard Kopf Morehair (OVH) and all this happened in the presence of Smelly Cheese, another living legend of this Hash.

OUT OF NOWHERE did Smelly Cheese he reappear after too many years of AWOL and, even more remarkable, his son JJ, who was named SACRED COW some 20 years ago, also came out of his hiding, for the very first time since he received his Hash Name. Hares RootCAnal and Free Wily were giving lenghty explanations for what proved to be a very lentghty run. Running down the Senderstrasse again and off into the vineyards, followed by the end of Stammersdorf and continually further away from the carpark meant heat, dust and frustration as there was no sign of a beer- or winestop along the trail. A small drinking fountain was not enough to chase away the unreal memories from Free Willy run classics such as No Sarz on Mars in 2003, when after two hours of running, he declaimed to the pack of 60 "Well, the good news is, that the longer part of the run is behind us, it is only one more hour to go.  The bad news is that I've just got one water bottle for me and all 60 of you!"

A further long loop around the far side of Bisamberg later and it was On In to the carpark again, followed by a nearby On After at a really nice Heurigen. Pics of this run to be seen here.

Father Smelly Cheese...

...and Son Sacred Cow

Who could this be? 

Sat on their parkbench like bookends

The old friends that is. Meaning all those who preregisters to Cardinal Munks birthday run (soixant-dixieme) on another hot and sunny day a few weeks ago, way out west over there in Eichgraben.  How many where there? It must have been well over thirty freeloaders, as the Hare (duly assisted by CoHare Joystick) invited us all to wine and dine after the run (of course with copious quantities of cold beer available).

There was a food truck arriving shortly before the run start, there were fridges with stacks of beer, tables with white table-cloth were set up and off we went, the pre-run explanations were given (walkers and runners trail) and then it was off into the woods, at some point quite close to the railway tracks of the Westbahnstrecke, at another point it was deep into the forest and, on the upper end, the Hares desperately tried not to raise the tempers of a local farmers family who were cutting wood (that only worked in parts) and, eventually, passing by another farm (with no-one in sight this time) just a few piggies oinked their salute for the thirsty runners.

What followed was the beer and liquor-stop, with some tasty stuff (whisky or the like) being provided by a friendly neighbour of our Cardinal. I had not the biggest intention to run, yet still tried to folow the runners which resulted in me getting way behind everybody else. What the heck I thought, there was still Mother Superior, OVH and Just Asako in sight. Towards the later part of the run there was a village called Knagg (which 37 inhabitants, according to this source). There was no infrastructure in form of (even smallish) shops but most astounding haciendas. Very subtle and sophisticated, but hardly reachable via public transport.

Ich hau Dir eine ins Knagg, oh wait...

Getting back to the Cardinals residence (the Castel Gandolfo of the World's Worst so to say), the scene was all set for a great party. Likkmm came over from Switzerland and presented Mr. Birthday Boy with one of his old running shoes which he wore from run # who? to run # really cares?. Ice Queen and Slush Puppie provided a barrel of Salm Bräu Beer ...

Na denn Prost, dass die Gurgel net verrost'

 ... and a special reappearance of Marathon Man, who together with family moved back to Vienna was feasted, together with newly wed couple Mr. and Mrs. Pink (congratulations from my side as well!). Pics of this run can be seen here.

The lights are dimmed and once again the stage is set for you.

Back to where this man belongs! :-)

After the circle, tasty food and drinking until late. Very well done indeed!