Dump it

That of course refers to the annual tradition of our Christmas trees here in Vienna which usually get thrown away on Epiphany Day (Jan.6) . Ice Queen and Slush Puppie have turned this custom into a Hash tradition by encouraging everyone to either bring their own trees or simply pick them up from a disposal site alongside the streets somewhere. Anyhow, here comes another report straight from the horse's mouth i.e. Slush Puppie. A little translative effort added by yours truly.

Quote:" In all due briefness (according to the runs shortness, which for its part marked the 6th edition of the Dump your Christmas tree in Vindobonian Hash History) it has to be noticed that Hares Ice Queen and Slush Puppie were not the only ones who disposed of their Christmas trees. Upon the Hares' arrival in front of the Votivkirche (and knowing from countless poor murder mysterys that each culprit comes back to the scene of his first crime) the church doors were wide open and inviting for a visit.

The Hares could see a young man who was visibly struggling to carry a Christmas tree of a minimum four metre height out of the Church. Everyone who happens to know this neo-gothic church not just from the commemorative Full Moon Tee-Shirt (50th run) will be able to acknowledge that a Christmas tree of four metres height is looking negligibly small inside. Yet, Mr. Disposer of the Christmas tree still had a lot of work ahead of him. When that Gentleman started to work on a Christmas tree of a minimum 8 metres of height to dispose of this one as well we offered our help, after all we were auxiliaries in a certain sense. This sadly was not the case as the Gentleman hadn't read the VH3 Schedule and was simply doing his job.

An invitation to join in the Dump Your Christmas Tree run was declined and in the end we left him alone again after a bit of support work with two more Christmas trees. Presumably he is still recovering from the stresses and strains and is just spending a three week rehab stay in Bad Schallerbach to treat his herniated disc.

Towards 3 p.m. and very unpunctually Hashers were arriving (IceMoon with her two kids being the most attractive Returnee in a long time). Hardly anyone was armed with a Christmas Tree, yet there was a vast assortment to be found right next to the church. To our surprise no one took one of those 8 metre giants. After everyone was supplied it was on off along the Reichsratsstraße (thereby passing by a genuine Kärntner Speckbar) towards the Rathaus, then on left in direction Rathausplatz where finishing touches were being put to the Wiener Eistraum in 2011 and people were made meandering aimlessly in a maze that looked like a building site. Living up to her name Ice Queen will soon be putting out an inviation for a Hash Ice Skating Evening in February, watch for the VH3 Mailing list!

The Ringstrasse was crossed in front of the Burgtheater and it was right on into the Volksgarten where colleagues of our former GrandMeister, who in his retirement now entertains a Hashblog are spending their lunchbreaks in the Summer.The detour to the Statue of Empress Sisi was inevitable and this was the right stage settung for yet another open air performance of the already classic Dramolett "Emperor Franz Joseph return from summer-resort in Bad Ischl (starring Slush Puppie in the title role and Ice Queen as Sisi).

To dump or not to dump

Afterwards it was on across the Heldenplatz, throught eh Hofburg and the Kohlmarkt into the Bognergasse for the way overdue Beer Stop. There was a warm welcome in the Altstadt Bräu during the afternoon hours, the children and MOM had softies, there were some spirits for Susanna Bin Laden and all the rest gloated over the delicious home brewskis. Dear landlady, dear landlord: We will be back.

The Christmas trees were parked in front of the tavern and of course being taken on again after beer consumption as the actual point of the ritual tree disposal still lay ahead. The moment came in front of the Schottenkirche, to the command of 1 - 2 - 3 the trees were being thrown onto a not-so-small pile. Then it was a few steps back to point A and no one knows for sure how many pics and videos from those happenings were made by tourists..
And we will probably never learn if the Dump Your Christmas Tree run, which symbolizes an old fertility ritual of the inner alpine region, can establish itself in other residential neighbourhoods, maybe in a slightly altered format.
There is nothing more newsworthy about a 2,8 kilometre trip through Vienna City Centre and - of course! - it is an impertinent and herewith denied false information that the routing was exactly the same just like a few years ago already.
Unquote".

Twin brothers

All I can say is thanks for this valuable piece of information.
On Out.

Here is a little love for everyone. Enjoy.

It wasn't me

Well, here is one more piece of support by a regarded Mister someone who goes by the Name of Mind the Gap, covering the run on December the 5th up on a very crowded Cobenzl on a very cold day.

Quote:
"Written by Ghandi Temp.

Krampus run (its never too late to do the run of the year !!)


-----------

Despite the treacherous road conditions and the cold weather a pretty large group of Hashers were gathered Sunday afternoon ready for the Krampus run. It would have been a larger crowd but, because the Christmas market had gate crashed the location, parking spaces were difficult to come by and a number of Hashers were cruising around in their cars (nothing new there) waiting for that lucky break or even parking their car further afield - in fact almost in a field (more later).

Maybe they were cruising around still changing into their red underwear which was a stipulation of the run.
Eventually most souls made the group and we headed off through the bemused crowds into the snow. All except Tick Pleaser who still hadn't been able to find a spot - but he would race after us later - he needs the exercise anyway !!

Almost immediately we were a) in snow, b) going up hill and c) without markings as the many sledging kids and trampling feet had wiped out the second check. But that did not matter because the hares in their wisdom had decided to set the trail where no sledger, trampling foot or normal person would go - up past the end of a sledging trail, steeply (what more steeply ? Yo !!) into the woods and even deeper into snow. The first casualty of ths deep snow seemed to be St.Norman, aka Stormin' Norman.
Since G-String was not present at the run, MTG decided to be the hero of the day and go back on a S + R mission only to receive the news that St Norman had short cutted to the front of the pack and was in no danger. Making a mental note to himself to award himself his fourth Hero Of The Hash medal MTG went up that damn hill again !!

And so it went on, up and up through the trees, then level for a while to the great relief of the pack and finally down hill to the song check and many choices of where to go next. All that is except MTG who was at the back with Glo Balls making sure he didn't fall to his death or get eaten by one of the bears, wolfs of squirrels that inhabit the woods. Think about it - first he goes off to rescue a saint and then protects an OVH - surely saintly behaviour - maybe soon another title will be added to the already impressive list that is the Prof. DDr.'s own.


Obviously when they reached the song check the pack was long gone - Glo Balls was dispatched to the shortest, safest and steepest route back while MTG attempted to catch up with the pack. And catch up he did (via the hard core route which as it turned out only 4 others had done). What a hero !!


The pack seemed to be in good shape, no losses (note to hares: make it more difficult next time), even Mindphuck, aka Souvenir, aka Rita was enjoying herself and we all know that the last time there was snow was Tasmania was during the ice age. And Mindphuck wasn't even there then. Luckily for the pack it was more or less down hill from then, except of course for the sting in the tail that was the final slope back up to the the lookout point on the path that then lead the pack straight back to the car park.


Perfect planning allows this kind of trail laying ;-) Back at the car park, beer was dispensed along with Krampussy (is that a word?) things like nuts, dried figs, tangerines, chocolate things, and more beer. After a period of indecision a spot was found for the circle. By this time it was bitterly cold and surprisingly No Mercy Mistress was in the circle. It transpired that her car was stuck not in a field, but a snow bank. Since help from the Hashers would not be forthcoming until the circle was over NMM had to stay.


The usual stuff in the circle: hares MTG (saint? quadruple holder of the Hero Of The Hash medal? even OVH ??? who knows !!) and KUTY-PI were given thanks and punishment; visitor MindPhuck was honoured (honored for our retarded american cousins!!), and, and, and finally the Red underwear police were on the scene. KUTY-PI and MTG showed how it was done, followed by St. Norman, MyPint Of View, Root C Anal, and many others (see the photos) but the black sheep of the Hash was King Ralph with black underwear for which he of course drank. No Balls Prize blinded everyone with last years Green skiing jacket so no one could see the colour of his underwear.
 

We know what's underneath!

 
Mercilessy, since bitterly cold had turned into f*cking bitterly cold, Richard Freiherr von F*ckkopf (aka unofficially as XXRARK) kept the circle short, even MOM managed to control his pouring instincts, and after rescueing No Mercy Mistress's car, we gathered at the on-in nearby for some beers, good food and a lesson in how not to get your guests to pay for their food (you had to be there!!).


So: run of the year? By the time you read this we'll all know."

Unquote.

I don't really mind the cold since it usually IS cold in winter but abusing a location where we had most of the aforementioned disaster already on previous occasions? Once it was so cold that the beer froze in the Down Down Mugs before it could be put to good use. Kein Witz.

Here's to the Hares!

With Plenty of Money and You

Here is yet another example of worthy contribution by the now already well known and established secret Co-Contributor Tickpleaser. This covers the run he and I set in and around Mödling on the 28th of November, covering a pretty area which is small parts of  the Naturpark Föhrenberge and parts of the Liechtenstein hill (not the country of the same name!)

Quote:"

Cometh the hour, cometh the man. Or so they say.  Well, all the signs were not good that this would be the case for run #1495 after the Hares had to change the D-Erections a few days before, due to a proper run taking place in Mödling on the same day. Perfect planning, as always.  Safe to say that there were a few more participants in the Adventlauf than the Hash.  But we all know who had the better time, don't we?  The weather was perfect with the first winter snow freshly fallen and reminding us that Christmas is finally around the corner.  MTG was not there to tell us exactly how many days it was to Christmas as he had disappeared to spend the weekend in Zagreb with a few other turncoats (or seasoned travelling Hashers, depending on your point of view).  With three Zagrobians celebrating their 70th birthday, plus a 77th to boot, the Zagreb Hash makes even VH3 seem youthful - which as we all know is quite an achievement.

The run started in a car park on the outskirts of town just next to the forest and sure enough went straight on up and into the trees. (Where there's a hill, there's a Hash?)  Thankfully for all concerned the destination wasn't the Anninger, at 650M the tallest hill in the region, and the trail soon turned right and on to the top of a ridge, before a steady walk down a lot of steps and with a great view of the aqueduct that supplies all you lucky Vindobonans with nice fresh mountain water. En route, the hares Marie Tamponette and Tickpleaser showed their obvious inexperience (I change that to imcompetence, Note Marie Tamponette) by forgetting where they had laid the trail just a few hours previously.  Luckily there were enough hardy souls present to take charge and lead the bewildered pair on towards their own markings. 

The Hares had wisely (and somewhat surprisingly) remembered to use a dash of polenta here and there so the markings were visible despite the patches of snow and other cold stuff.  The run skirted along the valley floor next to the Mödling-Hinterbrühl main road (Brühler Straße) and, surprise, surprise, then ran up the hill the other side to the top of a second ridge.  Thankfully most of the pack failed to notice (or more likely didn't care) that the trail was very similar to one a year or two ago from the same Hares, and sure enough it went past the Schwarze Turm, that slightly strange tower come unusual house, which sits over Mödling brooding like a fat maiden aunt at a wedding.

The promise of a Gluehwein stop was enough to get the straggling line of Hashers moving again, following The Famous Pimpsqueak -  whose keen nose (or was it local knowledge?) had already sniffed out the impending stop.  Sure enough, a few minutes later all were happily warming their hands round their mugs thanks to a small Weihnachtsmarkt next to a church on the way down to Mödling itself.  From here it was a short trundle back through the pedestrian zone and yet another Weihnachtsmarkt, with a final walk uphill along the Goldene Stiege and back to the car park. Needless to say, the beer was for once properly chilled thanks to the Austrian winter weather and those hardy few who braved the On-After left Gasthaus Bockerl to find their cars under a few cm of new snow which very politely waited until the end of the circle before coming down to earth.

Unquote."

Love is in town!

Get it out of your System

Dear Readers from all over the place, you make me proud to announce the glorious addition of yet another remarkable contributor. Messieurdames, put your hands together for the one and only Tickpleaser!


"Quote:

It was with a heavy heart that we found ourselves once more in the car park on Arbeiterstrandbadstrasse for run #1494. The only glimmer on another otherwise grey Viennese November's day was the prospect of a live run and the chance to humiliate the Hares.......or should I say the lambs to the slaughter? Tickpleaser, who turned up just when Glo-Balls said 'So, what about a co-hare?', unwisely volunteered and, like a nodding donkey entering the gates of the glue factory, ended up as Free Willie's partner in crime. And there lay the seeds for a disaster in the making, with Vindobona H3's very own Hernia Twins chosen to set a live run.

The pack, never that keen to actually start moving, gave the Hares a decent enough head start. The trail wound its way through the Donaupark, over the Alte Donau and past the highlights and lowlights of the 21st district before looping back towards the Donaupark, with a cheeky little stretch past the Neue Donau just to confuse the pack, before running under the Donauturm and on home through the park once more. Of course, the real challenge on a live run is simply to catch the Hares in the act, so to speak. Free Willie and Tickpleaser started in good spirits, mainly based on the fact that the last time anyone in VH3 actually ran on a Hash was back in 2001. Indeed, they were so confident that they even stopped half way round to refill their flour bottles. This was their second big mistake. The first was basing their choice of clothing on the Ronald McDonald school of camouflage, with both sporting the bright red 'Globalls 1000th run' hats which could be seen from the other side of Vienna. Their third mistake was forgetting that not all the pack were intent on getting back without scuffing their trainers. So, who amongst the mangy pack took on the challenge and took up the scent?

Well.....who better to excel on a live run than VH3's very own Deerhunter? Step up to the mark King Ralph, ably abetted by Hash Hound Vilia. With his eagle eyes, KR spotted the Hares early on and steadily reined them in until, with a good third of the run left and still a kilometre or so from the Donaupark, he was only a few hundred metres back. His cries on ON-ON! may have woken most residents of the 21st from their mid afternoon nap but it was to no avail as the rest of the pack was just too far behind to help, or care (well, there's a surprise).

Indeed, the only people to respond to KR's call were in fact the Hares! Woken from their pleasant afternoon's amble, and spurred on by their desire to keep their trousers on in the circle, Free Willie and Tickpleaser kicked off again. KR, by now definitely in the hunt despite the lack of support, steadily chased the Hares down and even their devious laying of a Titty Check didn't deter him as victory was in sight. His efforts, though, untimately ended up in vain as the cigars took their toll and he lost the Hares around the Donauturm, ending up back at the car park just a minute or two behind Free Willie and Tickpleaser. So - this time anyway - the Hares kept their trousers, despite KR's valiant attempt and the short cutting efforts of a few of the more devious amongst the VH3 brethren who also made it back close behind. A good time was had by all (well............... most, well.........at least some) and the general consensus was that we should have a few more live runs. On-On to the next one in 2011!

Unquote!".

Well, not very much more for me to recommend than to try your luck and stroll around Viennas Christmas Markets. Not necessarily the biggest one on Rathausplatz. There are plenty other opportunities around (Altes AKH, Am Hof, Freyung, Belvedere...). And if you happen to live outside of Vienna in some other part of the World, come visit the Vindobona Hash (founded in 1982) and run(?) with us.  It is well worth the effort.

Or you may just happen to like today's musical piece.
On out.

Birds Like it

So here is a report straight from the horses mouth, which is the GREAT Slush Puppie himself. This run took place on Sunday, November the 14th.

Here we go.
"Quote (in my best translative effort)
The meetingplace would have been superb except for the fog. Run through the Maurer Wald, the first checkpoint had already been destroyed by the countless walking dudes, 98 % of those being dog owners, and the first FRBs were doing some extrametres already.
Next scene alongside a vineyard: Richard Kopf is falling, remains unhurt and finds out later on that he must have lost his mobile and reckons that it might fell out during his fall. Tickpleaser suggests that R.Kopf should walk back and call his number with someone elses mobile phone to hear his own one ringing in the grass.
As usual, Ice Queen takes care of business from here onwards, calls the RA's number, after a long while Nedja (lifepartner, Lebensmensch of R.Kopf) answers the phone. Richard Kopf did not take the damn thing with him and left it at home!

Run # 1493

Ice Queen is now having a long chat with Nadja, and chatting seems to have been the principal motive for all participants. Merry Me, Septic Yank, No Mercy Mistress, Boney M, Root C, Lord GB (OVH), all chatters from the "chatting club with a walking problem".
Passing by the Wotruba Kirche, when architectural expert King Ralph point out the missing eaves and the hereby resulting ugliness of the concrete front (typical architect - no master builder).
Then onwards to the Sternengarten and onto the lovely Pappelteich. The songstop was ignored due to the absence of a Songmeister. And then back into the forest. Flying Dutchman is the only one who seems to have a vague idea of where he might find himself and yet he constantly takes the wrong checks, presumably all this takes way too long for him already. King Ralph has lost the group a while ago as he thought that the trail would lead by the signposted Waldschänke which was inapplicable.

After one hour everyone is back at the outside wall of the Lainzer Tiergarten, but near the Gütenbachtor (a bit away from the cars that is). A short extraloop for the FRBs, on down towards the road and then back up the long and steep meadow, W*nkers and Runners are back together again.

Then it is really boring and uninspired by the Hares constantly along the outside wall of the Lainzer Tiergarten, it is nearly dark by now.

In the absence of our famous GrandMeister it is up to the freshly baked GM of Vice to open the circle which obviously hits her completely unexpected. Usual Down Downs thereafter. OnIn at the Designerheurigen Wiltschko within walking distance from the carpark.

Ganslsuppe, Kümmelbraten, Murauer Flaschenbier, and the really young wine (the real Heuriger) was already available. The pack atrracted considerable attention due to clothing (other guests rather sniffish, due to  "assimiliation" to-days Hashers had not been thrown out from these premises.
One more thing : Good luck to  Septic Yank for the upcoming Hip operation.
Unquote".

Thanks to Slush Puppie for this report.
On Out.




That bird with feathers of blue
Is waiting for you
Back in your own backyard

You'll see your castles in Spain
Through your window pane
Back in your own backyard

Oh you can go to the East
Go to the West
Someday you'll come
Weary at heart
Back where you started from

You'll find your happiness lies
Right under your eyes
Back in your own backyard