Take the day off (of course!)
Get there by 10 a.m. and have your first beers at the beerplace across the road, the likewise wonderful Englische Reiter, where the real Hardcore people assemble in time.
Head towards the Schweizerhaus gates (still closed untl 11 a.m.)
Muscle your way into the garden (no sitting inside!) after the gates finally swing open at 11, ignore the TV cameras and the newspaper reporters.
Pray to the gods of your choice that your (our) good friend waiter Bertl has reserved a table for you under the moniker "Irland" like he always does.
Order your first beers and start the chitchat with fellow drinkers near you that will last for the rest of the day.
Order the Slowakische Krautsuppe mit Speck as some sort of late breakfast so you won't get too drunk too early.
Watch MOM arrive, as he always knows about these clandestine dates without being told, as a tee-totaller he orders coke.
|Ain't nobody here but us chickens|
Listen to the Motovidlo Band from Prague doodling away.
Call up absent friends at random and make fun of them, it's FUN!
You may get spotted by journalists and the occasional interview could pop up the day after the opening.
Towards the evening and if you're still able to, walk (stagger) home, try to avoid falling onto the floor thereby cracking your glasses and/or torkling into lampposts outside the place, pass out and wake up in a hospital room (has all happened to various people).
Be happy to be alive and repeat this routine on closing day.