There is not much that I can say about yesterdays run starting inside the Burggarten mainly because I was not present and yet, a highly interesting form of literature loosely called Ischleriks (derived from those wonderful Limericks of course) was flying round and I am including a few of both for your regarded perusal:
Die Sisi sagt: "Weil ich so blad bin,
geh' heut' ich zu Fuß auf die Katrin."
Der Kaiser nickt stumm
und denkt sich: "Zu dumm!
Grad da wollt' ich heut mit der Schratt hin."
Die Schratt haucht: "Franzl, komm zu mir her!"
Der Kaiser sagt: "Später. Jetzt geht's grad schwer."
Sie ruft: "Sex ist doch wichtig!"
Sagt der Kaiser: "Schon richtig.
Aber nicht, wenn ich grad den Krieg erklär'."
"Ich sollte die Villa verkaufen.
Bad Ischl is' für mich g'laufen",
denkt der Franz, "dieses Pack hier
geht so auf den Sack mir!
Am liebsten tät' all's ich versaufen!"
(Antonio Fian, 18.11.2016)
(Okay, some inside knowledge about persons and places would be helpful, I know.)
Now straight along Albany Street
Where the Clubs and Societies meet
You can learn Mandarin,
Dance or boxing within
I’m going to learn Salsa, because I like corn chips."
It's not made in Germany, I know, But give this good lager a go, You'll be filled with wonder, When tasting Dortmunder, Thanks be to Great Lakes Brewing Co.
If anybody who attended yesterdays run wants to share any memories, your comments are welcome.
If you're into Jazz music as much as I am then I would like to point your attention to Radio Deluxe with John Pizzarelli, Jazz Guitar virtuoso and singer from New York. It is a weekly Internet radio show full of wonderful music and relaxed moderation. I had the latest show playing on my recent home office day. You could also listen to it while you're reading the Hash Blog ;-)
Much to be recommended.
This is a song from a record called Brazil he made together with Rosemary Clooney.
The following is a transcript from Cardinal Munk, OVH's speech at the ceremony that was dedicated to the Kaiser last Sunday in the circle:
"Dearly Deranged, let us pray!
Tomorrow we'll commemorate the one hundreth year of the passing of His Majesty Kaiser Franz Joseph, Emperor of Austria, Apostolic King of Hungary, King of Bohemia, Dalmatia, Croatia, Slavonia, Galicia, Lodomeria, Illyria, King of Jerusalem et. and numerous other places that sound like they were made up by the Marx Brothers.
It is through my spiritual channels that we have been allowed to cast respectful eyes upon his body today. The Capuchin Friars have "lent" us his remains for a few hours and they will immediately afterwards be returned to the Kaiser Crypt at the end of this ceremony, so enjoy the spectacle while it lasts, and get a good eyeful.
His Majesty the Kaiser was a man who lost practically everything during his lifetime, and then a lot more after he died. His son, the Archduke, committed suicide, his wife - the Empress and his nephew were both assasinated with consequences that led to the outbreak of the first World War, and the ultimate destruction of his empire. It was said that he lacked a sense of humour. Maybe that was a good thing because his life could be labelled as a bad joke.
Oh your Majesty, what do we have forward to look for in heaven?
"FREIBIER!"
(End of speech and ceremony)
(Of course MOM, who was supposed to speak aloud those Imperial Lines forgot them all.) Beer for all nonetheless afterwards. Wot - still no Moronic Pics available? Blimey! UPDATE: Video of the grand performance proudly included, courtesy of Moron Bros. Inc.
And, since I mentioned this briefly in the last entry, here is an old and short writeup about that notorious run that the King and his offspring set in March 2006 on the Leopoldsberg. St. Norman (OVH) still must have special recollections about that run, don't ask where I dug this up from:
"To all the Heroines and Heroes who made it to the Leopoldsberg and to all
the Sniveling Wimps who decided not to show up in the pouring rain, blank
ice and snow and MEGATONS of Mud, loose Rocks and rotten trees:
Thanks for being around with the Wonderful and Remarkable World's Worst.
Thanks to the Hares for showing us that there are more runs between the
Heavens and our planet than you might imagine. The climb up that hill must
have equalled the life of the WW1 soldiers wading up and down their
trenches, yet our hill seemed to be insurmountable at times .
The unlucky ones who got stranded in the midst of the Hill were bravely
rescued by G-String (newborn hero with his own song now), The King himself
and Smorgasm.
The endless wait for the rescued ones standing out there in the still
pouring rain and wind led to a few premature withdrawals (if I may say so).
The initial thought after getting back to the car park was that that run
would deserve the "Middle Finger Salute'" from the Agincourt Battle
but the warmth that followed consoled everybody out there I'm sure.
Those who left early had to miss out an impromptu and hilarious circle with
special guests (chosen at random) a Happy Bus Driver (got a can of Fanta)
and - strengthening our friendly ties with the PRC (China) 5 hikers from
Shanghai took part in the circle, singing us their favourite songs."
Testing their limits a long time ago (Pic from March 2006)
Tourists from Shanghai on the Leopoldsberg in 2006
(St. Norman, not yet OVH in 2006):
A most appropriate description and I was pleased to survive the World
War 1 Run.
Again thanks to G-String (Last night a G-String saved my Life) who
provide a stick, then offer to carry me on his back, then pushed up that
hill. Also thanks to Smorgasm, how pulled me up. Then to King Ralph's
dog lead which I grabbed with one hand for the final precipice (a
different spelling would be better).
But of course ... its always the RA to blame for the weather, and trying
to blame others shows that he is failing in his duties. As soon as the
schedule comes out, then the RA must get working on the weather ... its
no good blaming the schedule! No mercy on him!
There could not have been a more fitting run number which is 1867 to the classic run that King Ralph presented in the 14th district, at Wien-Hadersdorf. Why the fitting run number you ask? Read about the Austria-Hungarian compromise (Ausgleich) in that very year. Today is the centennial passing day of the Emperor Franz Joseph. Here is a very interesting article that characterises the man a bit.
One was reminded of days of long ago at the World's Worst when the King used the set real killer runs that would lead extremly steep up and/or extremly steep down and/or through abhorrent amounts of underwood/brambles and the likes. Setting out into the Augustinerwald at the western edge of Vienna with neighbouring villages Purkersdorf and Mauerbach nearby we were told that "you know, ve have valkers and runners bits and zey split from time to time so you can make up your own run". The brave amongst us, counting in Squeeze Box Mama, Joystick, Mr. Pink and some more left the concrete roads straight onto the ankle-deep mud and shiggy (only in parts in all fairness) forest paths that were leading a long way out to an area where the Morons once set another challenging run of their own, all the way up a VERY STEEP HILL. (Quote from the Hare:" You know I vanted to go all the vay up zat hill but then I thought this vould be too long.") Well, thanks for that.
I assume the other brave part of the pack i.e. the walkers had equal fun on their part of the trail until we all happily convened for a short song stop. After this it was on back on the other side of the main road (Mauerbachstraße) and onto some more muddy forest paths, eventually back on footpaths and passing by Schloß Laudon on the right until the carpark came in sight again. The circle featured an extensive ceremony which was conducted by Cardinal Munk, OVH. Six Coffin Bearers carried a dead corpse which was covered by the Imperial Flag and was carefully laid down on the ground. The Cardinal then held a moving speech (which will be posted here maybe tomorrow, together with an old writeup about a former King Ralph run) and then cameth the ressurection of - MOM (nowadays Ersatzkaiser).
Moronic Pics will be added when they are available (they are now available).
Speech!
Returnee of the day was certainly Boom Boom Pecker who brought the sad news that one of the first VH3 Hash Hounds Otto von Pissmarck passed away at the age of 18. The same was reported of Hash Hound Gangster, Boxer a la bonheur of Swedish Origin. Rest in Peace, fellas. I herewith raise my beer in your honour.
So there was a supermoon occurring, duly announced by Lord Glo-Balls, OVH and one has to say that the vision I had from the moon was close, clear and VERY pale. The mystery Hare was none other than Likk'm and the start point from the far end from the Stadtpark must have been an inspiration for every driver to secure a spot nearby. Well, we did pass by LGB's (OVH)'s mobile soon after the start.
Not much running tempo to write home about as within the entire pack, split up in small groups, there was no-one running. Or maybe I was so far behing that I did not notice. Anyhow, the positive thing for me personally after a 10-hour working day (shortly interrupted with a nice liquid lunch break) was the exercise, taking a long stroll through the better part of the 3rd district, on across the Schwarzenbergplatz and the Karlsplatz and eventually stopping over at the dreaded Christkindlmarkt am Rathausplatz.
Take my advice, dear readers near and far: This is not the kind of traditional Viennese Christmas market that you're looking for. There are enough other venues such as the Alte AKH, the Freyung, the Christmas Market am Hof or even the one am Karlsplatz are better fits for your seasonal needs. Take my word for it.
Senza parole
Quite a few took the nearest available tram back towards the Schwarzenbergplatz, a short walk back to the starting point and a circle with not too biq quantities of beer followed. Any exercise spiked with beer is welcome so no real complaints here.
Schellenhof, Schellensee, Kellerberg, all parts of the southern edge of the 23rd district where Hares Primadonna and Anita Hanjob started to-days run from the lower end of Kellerberggasse. Although this area is a mere 3 km from where we live I herewith admit that this very starting point was new to me.
The nice crowd of 30 or so started back to the Ketzergasse and fittingly on over that big main road called Triester Straße - Triest was not part of the Ostrich Empire for 600 years for nothing - further on past the Autometzker and eventually on towards that massive concrete Nightnare called the Shopping City Süd. I would assume this is easily the biggest shopping temple in Ostrichland and although the have places for 8000 cars outside their shops, especially on the weekends before Christmas there are always loads of cars cueing back onto the nearby Südautobahn.
The Hares obviously knew that in the next landmark on the trail called the Eventhotel Pyramide was the weekend of the annual Erotikmesse (Erotic Fair) yet there was no beerstop, neither inside nor ourside near the cashiers desk. After that cameth the Wienerbergteich, an area that drivers sometimes may or may not see when they drive down the A21 from the Gießhübl towards the A2 or the S1.
Look up the definition for Ziegelteich because that's what the Wienerbergteich is.
The last past consisted of some backroads at the end of Brunn am Gebirge, muddy fields and some more mud and at long last a Beerstop near the cellar of the former local Schellenhof Brewery.
History of the former Brewery presented by Primadonna (click to enlarge)
The way back to the carpark was short and the following circle with visitors from Illinois and Milano was not too long due to darkness quickly setting in. My thanks to the Hares for a truly entertaining run.
What about the frost? The temperatures in the Vienna area seemingly getting more mediterranean over the years and it is not unlikely that I could set an olive tree and an oleander into my garden and out from the pot.
A few days after the glorious St.Patricks Day(and Schweizerhaus opening day of course!) - you have guessed it that run covered here happened on March 20th - Hares Lopsided Backside and Beanman (survivor of Run # Uno in Vindobona in 1982 and a) still around and b) fit like a youngster) made us start near the Narrenturm in the Altes AKH in the 9th district, home of such establishments like the Stiegl Ambulanz or the Gangl Bierheurigen. You name them. Lovely surroundings. And difficult parking.
Painted all green on the inside!
A place well worth mentioning nearby is the Lane and Merriman's Pub in Spitalgasse, outside the Altes AKH where our great Host David threw many a merry St. Patricks private party for, well, a few. One can't say that this run lasted too long, after getting out of the area, on over the Ringstraße the Molly Darcy's Pub was the place of a long beerstop.
Bier her, oder wir falln um!
Some 20 more minutes after the Beerstop and this short run was already finished, with Irish Whiskey, Chips and Salsa. It was also naming time for Smoking Penis, alas no decent pics to document this historic moment.
