Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Get it out of your System

Dear Readers from all over the place, you make me proud to announce the glorious addition of yet another remarkable contributor. Messieurdames, put your hands together for the one and only Tickpleaser!


It was with a heavy heart that we found ourselves once more in the car park on Arbeiterstrandbadstrasse for run #1494. The only glimmer on another otherwise grey Viennese November's day was the prospect of a live run and the chance to humiliate the Hares.......or should I say the lambs to the slaughter? Tickpleaser, who turned up just when Glo-Balls said 'So, what about a co-hare?', unwisely volunteered and, like a nodding donkey entering the gates of the glue factory, ended up as Free Willie's partner in crime. And there lay the seeds for a disaster in the making, with Vindobona H3's very own Hernia Twins chosen to set a live run.

The pack, never that keen to actually start moving, gave the Hares a decent enough head start. The trail wound its way through the Donaupark, over the Alte Donau and past the highlights and lowlights of the 21st district before looping back towards the Donaupark, with a cheeky little stretch past the Neue Donau just to confuse the pack, before running under the Donauturm and on home through the park once more. Of course, the real challenge on a live run is simply to catch the Hares in the act, so to speak. Free Willie and Tickpleaser started in good spirits, mainly based on the fact that the last time anyone in VH3 actually ran on a Hash was back in 2001. Indeed, they were so confident that they even stopped half way round to refill their flour bottles. This was their second big mistake. The first was basing their choice of clothing on the Ronald McDonald school of camouflage, with both sporting the bright red 'Globalls 1000th run' hats which could be seen from the other side of Vienna. Their third mistake was forgetting that not all the pack were intent on getting back without scuffing their trainers. So, who amongst the mangy pack took on the challenge and took up the scent?

Well.....who better to excel on a live run than VH3's very own Deerhunter? Step up to the mark King Ralph, ably abetted by Hash Hound Vilia. With his eagle eyes, KR spotted the Hares early on and steadily reined them in until, with a good third of the run left and still a kilometre or so from the Donaupark, he was only a few hundred metres back. His cries on ON-ON! may have woken most residents of the 21st from their mid afternoon nap but it was to no avail as the rest of the pack was just too far behind to help, or care (well, there's a surprise).

Indeed, the only people to respond to KR's call were in fact the Hares! Woken from their pleasant afternoon's amble, and spurred on by their desire to keep their trousers on in the circle, Free Willie and Tickpleaser kicked off again. KR, by now definitely in the hunt despite the lack of support, steadily chased the Hares down and even their devious laying of a Titty Check didn't deter him as victory was in sight. His efforts, though, untimately ended up in vain as the cigars took their toll and he lost the Hares around the Donauturm, ending up back at the car park just a minute or two behind Free Willie and Tickpleaser. So - this time anyway - the Hares kept their trousers, despite KR's valiant attempt and the short cutting efforts of a few of the more devious amongst the VH3 brethren who also made it back close behind. A good time was had by all (well............... most, well.........at least some) and the general consensus was that we should have a few more live runs. On-On to the next one in 2011!


Well, not very much more for me to recommend than to try your luck and stroll around Viennas Christmas Markets. Not necessarily the biggest one on Rathausplatz. There are plenty other opportunities around (Altes AKH, Am Hof, Freyung, Belvedere...). And if you happen to live outside of Vienna in some other part of the World, come visit the Vindobona Hash (founded in 1982) and run(?) with us.  It is well worth the effort.

Or you may just happen to like today's musical piece.
On out.

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