Sunday, 10 November 2019

Circus of Becoming

AGM Day, Annual Grand Meeting, or AGPU, Annual Grand Piss Up like this assembly of remarkable weird was referred to at the Paris Hash in the 1990s came up. Following a long tradition (uninterrupted since 2002) the Worlds Worst Hash gathers in the depths of the Prater, behind the Lusthaus where the wonderful Gösser Bierinsel is located, a Gasthaus we most rightfully chose as our local Hash House.

Tradition and not rule has it that the GM and the RA set the run on AGM day and so it was to Moehair Richard Kopf, OVH and yours truly to come up with a little exercise before the long part of different kind of entertainment would start. Full credit goes to the Cohare Moehair (no pun intended) for he set the main part of that run and came up with the old idea of going round the picturesque Lusthauswasser again.

Greening the Scenery

A bit further on, in an adjacent part of the forest after storking over a lot of dead wood was a Whisky Stop. Pity that 95 % of the pack had already continued the trail so it was left to a precious few to sip genuine Scottish Whisky (Whisky or Whiskey is the question here!). After that short interlude it was on back to the carpark and the circle. Like the preceding week, there were several Hashy Birthdays to celebrate, so a bottle of Prosecco was presented and shared between a merry lot of 7 or 8.


In direct succession the next OVH ceremony was announced, this time for Free Willie. Read the unabridged speech here (or then and there):   

All the current members of the Order of the Vindobona Hash! 

 LGB, CM, BSN, MH, RAd, PDF, MS,HRE, GMdTMT, PoB + Bearer of Heilige Vindobona JS (HVB)  (Joystick was absent)
Enter procession with LGB first
Semi circle formed wit PROCESSION h CM, HVB and Heilige Vindobona in the centre.
CM: We are gathered here to commemorate a historic moment in the annals of Vindobona history. For today we will induct Ronald „Free Willie“ Willis into the order of the Vindobona Hash.
LGB Being of very unsound mind and body, the heralded Free Willie is now the eleventh to have reached the 1000th run plateau. Like they say in Merry Old England, „if you made your first eleven, then you'd be sure to get to heaven“. With todays candidate in front of us I am not so sure about this wish to come true. After todays ceremony an OVH induction Siesta will be declared for the time being.
MH It is through his unbending will and determination, his blood, sweat and beers that has enabled him to obtain the heights of this great honour.
( CM will motion to the candidate that he should stand before the members )
CM Free Willie you shall now kneel before the members of the OVH for the purification stage.
FW kneels
This question is directed to the throng:
and the despicable throng will answer IT IS JUST!!!!!!!!!
CM: Candidate , When we give you the sign of the Heilige Vindobona, you shall reply “I swear’
LGB :Do you swear that you have truly not offered Cans of cheap and warm Ottakringer Beer to anyone (including me) for the position that has been conferred upon you? YUCK!
RAd :Do you swear that you will always continue to blow your out-of-tune Hash Horn to lead the World's Worst Hash astray during the next four decades as well? Answer ’I swear’
HRE: Will you continue to lay much too long trails even though we all try everything humanly possible to prevent you from doing so? Answer ‘I swear’
PDF: Will you continue to tell and encourage others to listen to your jokes during our circles which are unfunny at a ratio of 99,9 % ? Answer ‘I swear’.
GmdT, MT Will you furthermore try to persuade everyone at the Worlds Worst Hash to make the umpteenth trip down to yet another Hash event in Payerbach to meet your buddy and Hotelowner Overworked and Underfucked? Answer ‘I swear’
BSN Do you promise to perform the All Blacks Haka to all the gapers in the circle just one more time? Answer 'I swear'.

MH Do you swear to try your best to uphold the centuries old Scottish-New Zealand ties? 'I swear'
And can you tell us all here what the town name of Dunedin (Gaelic) means to non Gaelic speaking Hashers? (ANSWER: It means Edinburgh, Dunedin is known as the Edinburgh of the South and twinned with the Scottish capital).

MS Do you swear to become as talkative and witty as me ?? (HA-HA!) Answer 'I swear'.

LGB We are content with the evidence given
CM In the name of the Vindobona hash and the sacred Pater Pivo, cleanse this candidate of his horrid wanking ways and guide him from his manic depressive drunkeness. Amen.
CM The candidate will forever more be called COURT JESTER, FREE WILLIE, OVH

We cannot say enough about the Court Jester, newest OVH!

The HV is handed to CM by HVB who then taps, right, then left shoulder then rubs head then passes the HV on to the other members of the OVH to do likewise.
After this is done CM says, " Arise and receive your articles of office!."
PDF, BSN, HM, HRE assist with his clothing of honour
LGB and RAd then help pin on the medal of the OVH.
CM: Court Jester , Go forth and spread the good works of the OVH!
Open bottles of Sekt
HRE You may now pour Sekt for your favourite Harriette, which of course means me.
Procession (the newest OVH first, … the first OVH)

AGM discussion time immiment! 

The actual AGM featured a new and half self-elected Speaker Barefoot (who did a grandiose job in conducting the ensuing voting chaos), various announcement, reports and long intense discussions about various motions which were presented to change and further develop our Worlds Worst Habits into the next Hashing year. Four long hours later I felt a bit exhausted but also impressed. Blimey! 

The memory of the Noble John Bercow lives on! 

Moron Pics made by their newest Member Horsedick can be seen here.


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