The Bag and the Blessed Saint Norman, OVH, both had birthday |
What followed was a fine birthday dinner with lots of presents, dancing (one such videoclip might crop up at the Christmas party) and a movie about The Blessed Saint Norman which was compiled by Rowed Runner as a labor of love. And, prominently, various huge cakes were baked and presented to the scrounging masses by a few well known Harriettes.
And, another infamous speech by Cardinal Munk, OVH. I received permission by Mr. Birthday himself to publish it so here it is in all its beauty:
REQUIEM FOR A SAINT
GOOD EVENING FELLOW “SCHNORRERS” AND WHOEVER SAID THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH/DINNER? ITS JUST AS WELL I’M NOT DRINKING, OTHERWISE I WOULD BE PISSED OFF THAT I ONLY GOT ONE FREE BEER! BUT WE DIDN’T COME HERE FOR THE GRATIS MEAL, DID WE? PLEASE DON’T ANSWER THAT QUESTION.
TONIGHT WE ARE HERE FOR ONE AND ONLY ONE REASON. YES, TONIGHT WE ARE HERE TO CELEBRATE … THE CHINESE NEW YEAR OF THE DOG! OR IS THAT HARE OF THE DOG, I TEND TO CONFUSE THE TWO. BUT THE CHINESE DON’T . THEY ARE VERY FOND OF DOGS… FRIED AND/OR STEWED.
BUT WHAT HAS ALL THIS TO DO WITH OUR OWN BELOVED AND BLESSED SAINT (STORMIN)NORMAN- FORMERLY KNOWN AS SOIXANTE -NEUF NORM?
IT’S NOW PRETTY OBVIOUS THAT OUR HERO WILL BE LEAVING HIS 7TH DECADE AND HEADING INTO HIS 8TH WHILE STILL LOOKING AS IF HE IS STILL INTO HIS FIFTH (FOR THOSE WHO'S COMMAND OF AMERICAN -ENGLISH IS ABOVE THAT OF DONALD TRUMP, THERE IS A DOUBLE MEANING IN THAT LAST SENTENCE).YES, THE BLESSED ONE IS THE FIRST TO STEP INTO THE REALMS AGED UNKNOWN.Being 70 MEANS THAT HE HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE 1948 WHICH ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE 1984 IF YOU ARE DYSLEXIC. BEING BORN ON THE 16th OF FEBRUARY HAS MOMUMENTAL IMPORTANCE THROUGH HISTORY. ON THIS VERY SAME DAY IN 600 AD POPE GREGORY THE GREAT DECREED THAT SAYING “GOD BLESS YOU” IS THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO A SNEEZE. IN 1777 MESSIER ADDS M53 TO HIS CATALOGUE (GLOBULAR CLUSTER IN COMA BERENICE). 1868 THE BENEVOLENT &PROTECTIVE ORDER OF ELKS IS FOUNDED IN WAPPINGER FALLS ,NY AND ON THIS DAY IN 1948 IT RAINED IN LONDON.
70 YEARS AGO, THE BRITISH EMPIRE STILL EXISTED. GEORGE VI WAS ITS KING, 1ST MORRIS MINOR ROLLED OFF THE ASSEMBLY LINE, AND THE 1ST EVER COMPUTER PROGRAM RAN IN MANCHESTER. I DON’T HOW FAR IT RAN NOR DO I KNOW IF IT WON. BUT MUFFIN THE MULE WAS THE BIG HIT ON THE BBC AND THE LARGEST ATTENDANCE FOR AN ENGLISH FOOTBALL LEAGUE GAME 83,260 PEOPLE SAW MAN UNITED DRAW TO ARSENAL. AND IT HAPPENED TODAY, 70 YEARS AGO. AND SO DID LULU, SHAKIN STEVENS AND THE BLESSED SAINT NORMAN.
THE BLESSED ONE IS A PROUD LONDONER BUT UNFORTUNATELY HE IS ADDICTED ,….TO THE ADDICTS(Charlton). I HAVEN’T PRIED INTO THE PERSONAL HISTORY OF HIS YOUTH BUT I KIND OF IMAGINE HE WAS ALWAYS THE PUDGY, LOVABLE SORT OF DORK THROUGHOUT HIS BOYHOOD UNTIL THE TIME HE ARRIVED AT THE VH3. HE CAME TO US WEDDED AND WITH CHILD. HIS LOVELY AND SCARY WIFE, THE FAMOUS ROWED RUNNER HAS TURNED A PIECE OF FLAB AND MOULDED AND BEATEN HIM INTO SHAPE SO THAT WE SEE THE FINAL PRODUCT OF ALL HER EFFORTS BEFORE US THIS EVENING. HE IS A FINE AND NOBEL SPECIMEN OF ATHLETIC MASCULINITY. HIS CHARACTER IS AS LOFTY AS THE CLOUDS THAT HE TREDS UPON . HE IS AN INSPIRATION FOR THOSE WHO QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF GOD ( OR DOG IF YOU ARE DYSLEXIC AGAIN). IN ONE WORD HE IS BLESSED.
IT IS PROPER THAT HIS SON BE TITLED EL NIÑYO, THE BABY CHRIST!
SO FELLOW VINDOBONANS, LET US RISE AND LIFT OUR GLASSES IN HONOUR OF OUR GRACIOUS AND GENEROUS HOST .AND LET US SING TOGETHER
( EITHER “HE’s A HASHER OR HASHY BIRTH F—YOU!) THE END
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