The dog track

And the next standard run happened last Monday at the Figurteich where Hashes have been happening for 20 years (I think). Nearly punctual start at quarter to seven with 32 Hashers, it was announced (by me as a Hare) that this would be a slightly shorter run as there was a beerstop coming up in the nice guestgarden of the Bachstube in Mödling. The waitress on duty was friendly but really slow, so we were sitting there for 45 minutes. That was not a bad thing as such, but there was the next OVH induction to happen during the circle.

Consequently, the short way back to the carpark of the Figurteich lasted no longer than 15 minutes and since it was a windy evening and not too hot, the circle was held at the carpark (in big contrast to most previous occasions). A few deserved Down Downs were handed out and then it was time for the induction ceremony for Slush Puppie, here is the unabridged speech.

OVH HOLDERS
LGB, CM, BSN, MH, RAd, PDF, MS,HRE, GMdT, MT + Bearer of Heilige Vindobona JS (HVB)

PROCESSION

Enter procession with LGB first

Semi circle formed with CM, HVB and Heilige Vindobona in the centre.

INDUCTION

CM. HEAR YE , HEAR YE ,FELLOW HASHERS!:

CM: We are gathered here to commemorate a historic moment in the annals of Vindobona history. For today we will induct Horst ‘Slush Puppie’ Höllhumer into the order of the Vindobona Hash.

LGB Being of unsound mind and body, the heralded Slush Puppie is now the tenth to have reached the 1000th run plateau. Due to the inflationary number of Hashers reaching OVH status, we will accept just one more candidate after Slush Puppie and we will then shut down the bandwagon for two or three years.

MH It is through his unbending will, determination and stubbornness , his blood, sweat and beers that has enabled him to obtain the heights of this great honour.

( CM will motion to the candidate that he should stand before the members )

CM Slush Puppie you shall now kneel before the members of the OVH for the purification stage.

SP kneels

This question is directed to the throng:

BSN IS IT JUST THAT THE CEREMONY OF INDUCTION BE PERFORMED ON THIS CANDIDATE? If so, Answer IT IS JUST!

and the despicable throng will answer   IT IS JUST!!!!!!!!!

CM: Candidate , When we give you the sign of the Heilige Vindobona, you shall reply “I swear’

LGB :Do you swear that you have truly not offered Bottles of cold Freistädter Beer to anyone (including me) for the position that has been conferred upon you. Answer  ’I swear’

RAd :Do you swear that you will always maintain creative positions as Franzl (together with Sissi) when the time comes to demonstrate the evolution of the Habsburg love life in the most erotic way to our very divine and pious hash?    Answer  ’I swear’

HRE: Will you continue to present your and HRE's spitting image by continually distribute your sputum from every bridge crossing during a run? Answer ‘I swear’

PDF: Will you encourage your lovely wife to continue her most popular Beer Can Crushing routine ? Answer ‘I swear’.

GmdT, MT Will you furthermore encourage your lovely wife to take up her famous egg crushing routine again, i.e. Crushing hard boiled eggs on innocent Hashers heads by using her impressive mammalian protuberances? Answer ‘I swear’

BSN Do you promise to revive the famous Curling performance you gave us just once many years ago on a winter run by using an old tea kettle and an even older broom? Answer ‘I swear’

MH Will you encourage yourselves (your wife and you that is) to resurrect the legendary Dump your Christmas tree run at least once within the next ten years? Answer ‘I swear’

GmdT, MT Do you swear when the time comes for the next stolen elections at the AGM in November to mix your glorious election cocktail again together with HRE, consisting of at least 15 different hard drinks in one pitcher, all shaken but by no means stirred? Answer ‘I swear’.

RAd Do you swear that you will continue to come up with unusual run locations that have never been used before, thereby bringing much joy to the despicable throng that is surrounding you? Answer ‘I swear’

THE NAME

LGB We are content with the evidence given

CM In the name of the Vindobona hash and the sacred pater pivo, cleanse this candidate of his horrid wanking ways and guide him from his manic depressive drunkeness. Amen.

CM The candidate will forevermore be called PRINCE OF BARKNESS, SLUSH PUPPIE, OVH

The HV is handed to CM by HVB who then taps, right, then left shoulder then rubs head then passes the HV on to the other members of the OVH to do likewise.

After this is done CM says,  PRINCE OF BArKNESS " Arise and receive your articles of office!."

PDF, BSN, HM, HRE assist Prince of Barkness with his clothing of honour

LGB and RAd then help pin on the medal of the OVH.

CM: PRINCE OF BARKNESS  , Go forth and spread the good works of the OVH!

Open bottles of Sekt 

HRE You may now pour Sekt for your favourite Harriette, which means me.

Procession (the newest OVH first, … the first OVH)

The newest member of the Order of the Vinbobona Hash ((VH)

Moron pics can be watched here. All hail the Prince of Barkness! 

Mild shvitzing

Way out there in Transdanubia lies the beach house that belongs to Justin Beaver and his old lady, venue of the annual Beaver run. In contrast to all previous years the start was moved into Groß-Enzersdorf as "the way into the Lobau is a bit too far from the Beaver Villa" (so the Hare told me). A huge turnout of no less than 42 Hashers came along, also to commemorate the loss of Pocahontits (see the previous post).

On yet another hot day and after a few pre run explanations it was more or less straight on into an area of thick forest, interspersed with water, lakes and such. The area of the Lobau not only where Napoleon got taught a lesson in 1809, it is also a truly beautiful recreational area, partly inside and partly nearby Vienna. Much running on forest paths and near various small lakes was done when a beerstop came. consisting of JUST ONE BEERCAN (in total).

I wanna be a forest ranger, I wanna live a life of danger?

Further on the trail split into a runners and a walkers trail, I courageously set out to finish the long part when suddenly a well known bridge crossing and car park came up, which was of course the oft used carpark behind the Autokino (venue of LGB's induction into OVH rank, the very first one way back).On back to our own carpark of the evening, a few cold drinks and the circle. Before the circle started we held a minute's silence in memory of Pocahontits, followed by RA Moehair reading out a very personal tribute by Whoppa.

After the circle it was swimming in the Donau-Oder Kanal, fine grilling in the garden of the beach house and the bucket full of water that went over the neighbours fence seemed to mark an end point to a pleasant yet sad evening.

Moron pics can be seen here. 

via GIPHY

Pocahontits

With the heaviest of hearts I am announcing the loss of a Dear Friend, a lovable Woman and a True Harriette. Pocahontits passed away a few days ago after a brave fight against a severe illness. When I think of her it is about her kindness, her friendliness and her wit. She and her Whoppa had been running with the Vindobona Hash already when S.Energy and I arrived here, coming back from the Paris Hashes in late 1996. Before that the two in Finnish-Scottish unison were active in the Moscow and Cairo Hashes. Hashing had a special place in her heart. More than 20 years ago Whoppa was the last Beermeister and Pocahontits was the Vindobona Hash Tee-Shirt sales woman. (She did a very fine job with that). 

I was impressed when she and Whoppa celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary a few years ago in a local Hash circle. As their appartment is located right next to Vienna city centre, it was on several Red Dress runs that they have been waving down on us, from their balcony high up there somewhere. Farewell Dear Pocahontits.

Pocahontits and Whoppa 

Splish Splash

One of many highlights, highpoints, whatever  you want to call it, is No Mercy Mistress' run in the 22nd district, always followed by a swim in the spacious pool afterwards (and a visit to the house sauna for the diehards, ahem).

Rear Admiral Flying Dutchman, OVH was the CoHare of the day and, partly due to warm temperatures, a slightly shorter run was promised and this promise was kept with a run length of 45 minutes. Alongside the Hirschstettner Badeteich and further on through the flat and spread out suburbs that still look strange and unknown to someone like me who grew up and lives on the other side of town, which is the south of Vienna.

Golden Memories and violent thunderstorms that occurred during runs an NMM' place in former years (2 or three years in a row) when the circle had to be moved inside her garage, with lots of cleaning on the next day. Same procedure as in most year, the run was followed by a swim, a circle an a Barbeque afterwards, a fine effort. Returnee of the Day was Standing There who wil remain with the World's Worst for next five weeks. Did I hear a request for Bobby Darin? Well, I shall counter that with an old cover version by a German Singer who cites the great Spike Jones as one of his greatest Inspirations.

Pool and other pics can be admired here.

Fun in the Sun

Yet another annual run takes place in Bad Deutsch Altenburg, hosted by Root CAnal and Free Willy. On Whitmonday, starting (intended) at 2 p.m. (was slightly later than that),  Free Willy explained to the crowd of 25 that RCA and he had not prepared one, not two, but no less than three different trails, ranging from Small, Medium to large.

About ten running enthusiasts decided to take the long route, another ten souls ( including yours truly ) chose the golden middle way and the rest (the smartest I'd like to add) took the comfy walkers route that lasted no more than 30 minutes. Medium and large trails runners stayed together for the very steep ascent up the Pfaffenberg (very steep and very hot) with the reward of seeing an enormous quarry on the other side of that hill. Further on, through nettles and swarms of friendly mosquitos the trail split into the long and the medium route. We medium walkers/joggers enjoyed more scenic views and a trail leading slightly downhill again. After crossing some fields it was first back onto a dirt track, a bit alongside a road and finally the last part which was the walkers trail back to the starting point.

After a long time sitting under a shady tree, sipping away a few cold ones with the walkers the first brave heat runners arrived back and after some more waiting a long circle occured. Unfortunately I had to leave early so missed the barbeque. Take note that the Hares did their homework, as compared to previous experiences there were more than enough cool drinks available, beer and softies alike. Well done ;-)

Notable returnees included Scarlett Pimpernell and The Famous Pimpsqueak.

Now what?

Cool vistas 

What the duck?

Beer along the track ( Horitschon part 2 )

Saturday - The Groovy Train (continued)

Upon arrival in the garden of the Hotel Trummer the circle started, Down Downs were handed out to just about everybody and after an hour of circle it was time for another OVH ceremony (Induction into the Order of the Vindobona Hash, to be given once a Hasher reaches 1000 runs). Tonight it was time for yours truly to be beaten with the Heilige Vindo Boner (a plastic hand full with plastic blood). Pics provided by Canada Dry. (Again, Moron Pics still not published).

Here is the speech in all its glory:

OVH HOLDERS
LGB, CM, BSN, MH, RAd, PDF, MS,HRE + Bearer of Heilige Vindobona JS (HVB)

PROCESSION

Enter procession with LGB first

Semi circle formed with CM, HVB and Heilige Vindobona in the centre. 

INDUCTION

CM. HEAR YE , HEAR YE ,FELLOW HASHERS!:

CM: We are gathered here to commemorate a historic moment in the annals of Vindobona history. For today we will induct Karl ‘Marie Tamponette’ Siegl into the order of the Vindobona Hash.

LGB Being of unsound mind and body, the heralded Marie Tamponette is now the ninth to have reached the 1000th run plateau. We are reaching the stage when we ask who is not an OVH. 

MH It is through his unbending will and determination, his blood, sweat and beers that has enabled him to obtain the heights of this great honour.

( CM will motion to the candidate that he should stand before the members )

CM Marie Tamponette you shall now kneel before the members of the OVH for the purification stage.

MT kneels 

This question is directed to the throng:

BSN IS IT JUST THAT THE CEREMONY OF INDUCTION BE PERFORMED ON THIS CANDIDATE? If so, Answer IT IS JUST!

and the despicable throng will answer   IT IS JUST!!!!!!!!!

CM: Candidate , When we give you the sign of the Heilige Vindobona, you shall reply “I swear’

LGB :Do you swear that you have truly not offered bribes to anyone (including me) for the position that has been conferred upon you.

RAd :Do you swear that you will maintain a pure conscience with regard to our very divine and pious hash?    Answer  ’I swear’

HRE: Will you encourage the hashers to show their figures at the Figurteich ? Answer ‘I swear’

PDF: Despite increasing senility, will you still be able to remember more digits of Pi than Prof Dr Felch ? Answer ‘I swear’.

CM Will you always accompany Cardinal Munk at the Schweizerhaus, ready with the Red Telephone in case of emergencies ? Answer ‘I swear’

BSN Will you continue to head the Hash Haring Stats and not allow Casting Couch to get on top ? Answer ‘I swear’

MH Will you play music to us through your naval orifice using instruments defying  imagination? “I swear’”

RAd Do you swear to be a leader of the Queer Boys Choir, whatever that group maybe called in the future, as chief Chorister, or Queerister. ? “I swear’”

THE NAME

LGB We are content with the evidence given

CM In the name of the Vindobona hash and the sacred pater pivo, cleanse this candidate of his horrid wanking ways and guide him from his manic depressive drunkeness. Amen.

CM The candidate will forevermore be called ….    Grande Madame de Toilette Marie Tamponette.

The HV is handed to CM by HVB who then taps, right, then left shoulder then rubs head then passes the HV on to the other members of the OVH to do likewise.

After this is done CM says,   " Arise and receive your articles of office!."

PDF, BSN, HM, HRE assist Grande Madame de Toilette Marie Tamponette with his clothing of honour

LGB and RAd then help pin on the medal of the OVH.

CM:  Grande Madame de Toilette Marie Tamponette, Go forth and spread the good works of the OVH!

Open bottles of Sekt  

HRE You may now pour Sekt for your favourite Harriettes, which means me.

Procession (the newest OVH first, … the first OVH)

Bend your knees

Something hit me, and it hit me HARD!

After this ceremony it was time to shower and get ready for the evening meal and the party with the commemorative motto of Woodstock - Peace, Love and Beer. An astounding number of Hashers brought along their fitting gear and the Old Skool (Gang Bang) Band that we hired for the occasion played until the wee hours. Friend and Hotel Owner Mario told me the next morning that the last guest fell asleep on one table and had to be carried to his room at 3 AM.! So much for efficient room service!

5, 6, 7, open up the pearly gates! 

They're going down to Marrakesh?

Sunday - Rise and Shine - Run # 2001 

After a long breakfast the Hangover which was set by King Ralph and Doctor No started at 11 A.M. A few game stops at Checkpoints were held, such as a (too) complicated (for me) free your hands from a big knot circle and a chase the Dragons tail stop a bit further on. After the better part of an hour mostly walking in sunny and nice surroundings of Neckenmarkt it was back to the Hotel and the final circle, which was ended by a rare performance of the Hash Hymn Swing Low. 

My thanks to everyone who come along, helped to organize in any which way and partied with us. It was a true pleasure to go back to Horitschon. We emptied 5 barrels of beer, drank several cases of beer and wine and ate plenty and good food.Now, on to more everyday stories on regular runs here in Vindobona. 

Where are the pics you MORONS ? ;-)

Here they are, actually (more to come soon)

Beer along the track ( Horitschon Part 1 )

A week has passed after yet another astounding foray into an area more of the mind than the map. Surprisingly many members of the World's Worst held fond memories of our 25th anniversary weekend in 2007 in Horitschon in sunny Burgenland, with three runs and a train trolley ride of 23 kilometres, nicely interrupted by a grand bouffee during the ride. When we started to ponder a second time around one year ago, everything seemed to fall into place quite nicely. The owner of the hotel we stayed, the wonderful Hotel Trummer in Hortischon, remembered us becaucse of the "unusual big group size" (we were 93 back than, a little over 80 this time). Prebooking the train trolleys at their head office in Oberpullendorf (which we did 12 months ago, together with the hotel booking) was a piece of cake. Everything there was left to find and do/design was a motto, T-Shirts plus logo and two Masthead Meetings, one in November last year and one a few weeks ago in May.



And now, on with the account.

Hash Wine for Hash people

Friday evening - After the rain - Run # 1999

S.Energy, Fallen Angel, Casting Couch, Two Bob and yours truly went down to Burgenland one day early, shamelessly taking profit of an extra public holiday and having a final talk with our friend Mario, the hotel owner about beers and such. On the Friday the sunshine started and the rain and the wind ceased. After the registrations (with the usual number of latecummers) a short run started that was set by S. Energy, Fallen Angel and myself. We made a loop around the town of Horitschon, well known for its Red Wines (Blaufränkisch!) and arrived back at the hotel after 45 minutes for the first circle of the weekend. I was happy to meet up with friends whom I haven't seen in twenty years (Gwana and Frau Brau) and was delighted to see the steady number of visitors, our special mates from Zagreb, Brussels, Newcastle, Hannover (Afterglow, Rollin'Stone + 2 kids and 1 grandmother) and quite more from various chapters. The evening buffet was tasty and plentiful and a little music to entertain a few dancers was played. The evening ended not too late, given the necessary early start on Saturday morning. (Pics were made and provided by Bull's Eye). Tons of our own Moron Pics to be published when they are ready, link will be added then.

In the beginning

Out on the trail 

Gong it out! 

Saturday - Groovy Train - Run # 2000

Breakfast started early, two buses came and picked us up at 9 o'clock and left us out again at Langental. From this relatively small place located somewhere in the middle between Horitschon and Oberpullendorf there was a choice between a 12 k runners trail, set by Rear Admiral Flying Dutchman, OVH and Prof. DDr. Felch, OVH and a 6 k walkers trails, set by Casting Couch and TwoBob. There was a given time for us to get to Oberpullendorf train station - 12 o 'clock - yet both the walkers and the runners arrived at the main square in Oberpullendorf where there is a bandstand well in time to give the locals a performance of Napoleon XIV'S 1966 hit "They're coming to take me away!".

The World's Worst Hash Choir

And they're coming to take me away, HA-HAAA!!

After this short interlude it was on to the Trainstation, waiting for the cool drinks to arrive, and a short explanation as to what the train trolley ride is all about was given. We were on one of the first trolleys and had the pressing pleasure of a few well motivated trolley crews that came right behind us. Obviously these people had no intention to drink in peace and enjoy the scenerey, rather it was a crazy race for the better part of the train track. After rail kilometre 18 or so it was time for a lunch stop. Friend and Hotel owner Mario provided cool drinks (again) and a pleasant variation of salads and some meat stuff.

Off they go! 

Somewhere along the track

Lunch stop

Resting trolleys

After an extended rest for all, the trolleys were heaved back on track and it was on to the Horitschon train station. To be continued in the next post.