Thursday, 17 May 2018

Jolly Bold

A premature Monday evening run occured in early April (how dare you? There were times when the Cardinal, OVH and yours truly fought tooth and claws over those Monday evening starting dates, whether they be one week earlier or later. Well, we were a bit younger then). TwoBob, assisted by Casting Couch welcomed his entire Home Hash Chapter which is the Berkshire Hash (a friendly bunch) to our very own Hash House, the Gösser Bierinsel in the Prater. Master MisterBaitor (or the other way round) was the CoHare of the evening and there must have been an easy crowd of 50+ English Hashers, added by approx 20 members of the World's Worst.

There is not much that one can do wrong with setting trails in the Prater and this run was no exception.  Taking in the first signs of springtime, combined with a huge circle afterwards and darkness setting in still too early, the way to the Hash House afterwards was a short walking convoy.

Drinking and chatting went on until late. So I heard.



Friday, 4 May 2018

Are you eggsperienced?

No rules but traditions are the essence of the World's Worst. A very fine such tradition are the Easter Runs, with Ice Queen and Slush Puppie being the regular since ... I forgot when. Certainly for a very long time. Kaltenleutgeben, which is a sort of village on the southwestern edge of Vienna and a bit tricky to get to (long, narrow and winding roads) is offering its beauties only on second or third looks. Not far off from the Gasthaus Kaiserziegel, known to some for their old-fashioned cuisine (in the positive sense).

Anyhow, steepish road leading up to the carpark and hills all around were not a promise of a light flat jog ahead. Up the hills and straight into the area of the lovely Naturpark Föhrenberge (a really vast forested area) it was very much un up, spiked with the occasional Checkback and split trails (2Bob declared himself happy to run in a yankfree zone, at least temporarily) when some regular running track came up and - naturally - one remembers the sophisticated moments best. After too many fruitless checks for Easter Eggs consolation came in form of lovely Eierlikör (only several years old) but nonetheless inhaled by the pack of drunkards within the usual timespan of nanoseconds.

Gone country

Drum solo

History! 

Not an eggliquor drinker 

69 sips!



After this mild refreshment interval it was on back an downhill for a while, at the very end passing by the local stables. And on in towards another long circle where Ice Queen was presented with drinking mug No. 69!


Sunday, 1 April 2018

Centerpiece

The annual spring run which is annually hared by Kuty PI and Prof. DDr. Felch, OVH annually takes place at a place called am Himmel in Vienna's 19th district, not for from the lovely Cobenzl area that saw very many good Hash run in the history of the World's Worst, most recently in July last year as a warm up run to Eurohash Week (look here for last years report).

Unfortunately no pics to embellish my scribblings (the Moron Brothers seem to be slacking these days), as the run started is way all the way downhill, muddy, slippery, rotten trees, you name it. After a few hundred metres it was back up again on an extremly steep ascent with neighbouring vines,neatly lined up. (There is an excellent Gemischter Satz being produced in the Cobenzl winery). Crossing the Höhenstraße and on left and up into the vast forest (this is still all within Vienna city limits, dear readers) and a couple kilometres further back across the Höhenstrasse made me ruminate whether the Hares would risk bringing us near the area of our first Monday evening runs which always start from Grüß Di A Gott Wirt, leading up to the highest elevation point in Vienna, the Hermannskogel.

Nah, obviously the powers that be had different plans and accordingly it was on back towards the Cobenzl area and after a bit more than an hour it was time for cool beers and a long circle. The reason for the longer than usual circle was the induction of Flying Dutchman to the fold of the order of the Vindobona Hash (OVH). The requirement for this is one thousand runs with the VH3, and in usual picturesque and funny looking manner and style FD was given the new moniker of REAR ADMIRAL The appropriate technique was displayed by two married couples (and heavily filmed by Pino the Frog and a few unknown bystanders).

Pics will be added when they are available. Nice run and momentous ceremony. The next OVH ceremony is immiment. Watch this space.

The original induction speech for the latest member of the OVH went like this:

[OVH-1, say Felch] “The Flying Dutchman (Dutch: De Vliegende Hollander) is a legendary ghost ship that can never make port and is doomed to sail the oceans forever. The myth is likely to have originated golden age of the Dutch East India Company (VOC). The oldest extant version has been dated to the late 18th century. Sightings in the 19th and 20th centuries reported the ship to be glowing with ghostly light. If hailed by another ship, the crew of the Flying Dutchman will try to send messages to land, or to people long dead. In ocean lore, the sight of this phantom ship is a portent of doom”. . . [Isn't wiki grrreat!]
[OVH-2, CardiMonk] “With this naval connection to his hash name, we have considered elevating Flying Dutchman to the rank of Admiral, for example to Schout-bij-nacht ( watch at night, night watch) as it is known in the Koninklijke Marine i.e. the Royal Dutch Navy.”

[
OVH-3, Morhaer] “On the other hand the Urban Dictionary tells us about the act of engaging in intercourse with a woman from behind i.e. Doggystyle - and using the momentum of the movement to propel the couple forward across a room. The man in this acrobatic performance  must hold his hands in the air and not otherwise balance or steady himself. . . . And it is claimed that making  a full circuit around a room entitles you be known as a Rear Admiral. Now that is interesting!“

[
OVH-4, Blessed Norman] So we have reached the opinion in the College of OVH’S that your Hash Moniker of Flying Dutchman should be preceded by the esteemed title of Rear Admiral, but only after you perform the following , as demonstrated now for us  .. . 
[At this stage enter a couple, let’s call them Prsa Kralovna and BraTitsLover of the Bratislava hash, who perform a demonstration around the circle]
“Now Flying Dutchman, you may choose your partner for the ceremonial cavorting around the circle. Then please stand behind this Harriet real close . .  and raise your arms [Harriet as “ volunteer” e.g. Boney M, ] Now you have to gyrate, do your business and FLY around the circle together.”

[
OVH-5, Lord Globalls]
“So, Flying Dutchman, you have - at last! - achieved, or should I say, suffered 1000 runs. And you have performed the special ceremony to the best (or worst ) of your ability.
Are you ready, willing, and dumb enuf to receive recognition of this, and be honoured by your assembled peers to be accepted into the ‘flying’ equivalent of the Mile High Club?”

[“Yes - or Ja" from FD] “Then I hand over this naval insignia [Admiral’s hat] to Cardinal Munk who will induct you into the esteemed and traditional Order of the Vindobona Hash, OVH” 
 [Hereby C Munk has usual freedom to say what ever he wants, should be in tune with what has gone before . . . and of course he will be wearing his robes, just as all the other OVHs are wearing their own  special attire for the occasion] 


After that, down down from Admiral’s hat , elevation by Lord G and C  Munk to:
“REAR ADMIRAL FLYING DUTCHMAN”



Do you still remember the great Cow and Chicken cartoon series? They also had a rear admiral in their ranks.


Thursday, 29 March 2018

Beer Mile Number One

Saturday last week saw the first edition of the Beer Mile in Vienna, organ-sized by Mr. Pink and Barefoot. I couldn't make it and would have loved to see it combined with a regular Hash run which didn't happen, although in retrospect it was good that the Beer Mile took place away from the Sunday run. Enough said, here come the Beer mile report by Mr. Pink as well as pics provided by Barefoot (rumor has it that Richard Morehaer Kopf, OVH, took some pics as well). Thanks to all of you.

Here we go:


Vienna's first Beer Mile…

For those unfamiliar with the Beer Mile, it is most famous for being Canada's most famous (only?) invention; part microcosm of the Hash staples of something resembling r*nning/walking/crawling and drinking, part spectacular sufferfest: drink one beer then r*n a quarter mile (400m), repeat four times – and r*n a fifth lap as a penalty if you at any stage before finishing vomit. Lance Armstrong tried it once, but he gave up after one beer/lap because it was too hard - I guess beer isn't his drug of choice. After years of proposals in Vindobona Circles, March 24, 2018, will now go down in history as the date that the first Beer Mile in Vienna, or indeed Ostrichland period, finally took place. (Well, technically it was the fourth, but as it was the first with more than three entrants, the first with more than two finishers, and the first with actual Ostriches taking part, it does enough to warrant that title.)




The Beer Mile, naturally, has history with the Hash. A total of 50 Hash kennels and well over 400 Hashers around the world have completed a qualifying official "Kingston Rules" Beer Mile – which means getting to the end, doing so drinking four beers of at least 355ml (though as we can only get 330mls in Europe, close enough) of – and, this is important – 5% abv. Which rules out a good 75% of every American attempt ever. For the stats fans, any of those in Vienna?, who have asked: the H3 average all-time is around 15:30, with the Harrierette average at just under 17:00 (with a record time of 9:11). The slowest H3 time (they still completed it!) is 58:18, which gives Tonto something to aim for in future, and Bratislava is, of course, the world's fastest Hash at 5:56. The Hash Record, which is held by the 69th quickest Hasher by personal best, is currently 9:51 by one Major Pecker (I hope one day it is one of the amazingly named "Deep Space 69," "Ich Liebe Dick," or "Brazilian Whacks Off". Or that the San Diego Hasher "Only Comes in a Kid's Meal," who we found researching this, completes one sometime soon. Power Kraut should be probably NEVER be made aware of this event.



Anyway, to bring this to Vienna and those VH3ers wishing to participate themselves, first, we had to solve a problem: Austrian Sports Unions are as likely to share their running tracks as Mind the Gap is to share his own Hash fries, perhaps with good sense when it comes to the Beer Mile: one Albanian by the Hash name of Major F*ck Up, recently in Bratislava vomited so much over our own facilities that we actually had to build an ark to be able to get to the vending machine to buy water to wash the flooded lanes clean. With this in mind, we were forced to find our own public venue. Luckily, the City of Vienna authorities were kind enough to mark an out-and-back course 200 metres in each direction, making a 400-metre loop, on the Prater Hauptallee which resembled more the original black laned Olympic Stadium in Athens*, kind of aptly for the Herculean task awaiting our entrants. (*More on them in a minute, but here a quick aside to praise Canadian Hash legend Little Big Man who actually defied security to do a Beer Mile on that very track last year – this is the H3 standard to which we should all aspire!)



So it was then, that a mix of Vindobona/Bratislava Hashers, a handful of Austrians half Barefoot's age, who we probably shouldn't enquire how he found, and one total random who – we have no idea how – found out about the event from LGB's posting on Facebook, descended upon the terminus of the #1 tram in Prater, just in time for XX to claim credit for the first genuinely nice day of spring. Said young Austrians had us waiting around for 15 minutes as our beers slowly warmed – the result of preparing for the event with a 4am tequila session for which they were duly and suitably cruelly penalized as their girlfriends beat them to the last 330ml size beers in the Tankstelle, meaning they were forced to drink 500mls instead.



With M.o.M., Nail Me, 3 Dicks at Once, and A.N.a.L. on the sidelines serving as timers, moral support and Schadenfreude administrators – and with XX offering (shivers as he types this) flashing services, the field of 12 received their final destructions from Barefoot, as Pink was unable to contribute due to having spent the entirety of his bus ride from Bratislava trying not to incur his own personal penalty lap: man flu is a killer, people. And then they were off, to the sight of a slightly bemused Mr. Pink as Token Canadian Joe sprinted past him (first time for everything, Vienna!) not 20 metres after the first beers had been downed, only to then lose the lead 300 metres later clutching his stomach and ruing that his tactic of going 100% from the gun "might not have been a good idea." Personally, if I were offering him Beer Mile advice, I'd have started with "don't drink wifebeater (Stella Artois)" but chivalry has no place in our ranks.

The Mile passed in a blur, more for some than for others (probably those on Ottakringer), and despite the attempts of the standard Prater fauna of people not looking where they are pointing the front wheels of their bikes, joggers in headphones moving in right angles as they watch YouTube videos, dogs on extendable leads to which the connection to their owners is notional at best, and more k*ds than an Amstetten basement straying across our track, collisions were somehow avoided and the finishing times read out, with various records falling. As, it should be mentioned, did all the young Austrians who took part in the event into one heap at the finish line, the assembled age of which was still junior to XX. Whereupon, much rejoicing was had and sins within the run discussed (stop me when this sounds familiar) and all retired to a nearby Biergarten to bask in the year's first warm sun while paying grotesquely-inflated prices for what passes as beer in the Austrian capital and enjoying the sight of at least one children's playground animal ride being stripped of its innocence by one of the barely legal-to-drink Austrians, as another philosophized on the passing-of-time with the sad lament that his "girlfriend turns 19 tomorrow." Meanwhile, a third member of the crew postured that XX was the Rick of Rick and Morty of our group, which, I think, is some sort of huge kudos down-with-the-kidz Down Down.

As for the times for anyone interested, Mr. Pink defended the Hash honour (such as it has any) to stroll in sick at 8:17, new boot Manuel (the Facebook find) set the Austrian Men's National Record with a time of 8:46 – for shame Hot Property! (10:25), who was also pipped for a podium place by Joe, who overcame his early overly ambitious start to finish third at 10:24. Barefoot (12:45), knocking back 6% root beer, somehow avoided a penalty lap and showed enough fortitude to then complete the "Nautical Beer Mile" which adds 265 yards and one "good swig o' rum" onto the end of the event, before Just Lisa claimed the new official Austrian Women's NR with 16:50. Over five minutes back at 22:05 came Robin, who although being the leader of the 500ml drinkers, only actually wins the MTG Trophy for being beaten by his girlfriend. After another 5 minutes of slapstick/physical comedy the four young Austrians rolled in at 27:50, 28:34, 29:12 and finally 30:30 – the final two taking great pride in their penalty laps earned by two spectacular displays of public hurling. So, if any Hasher wants to drink from the fountain of youth and beat a bunch of late teenagers/guys in their early 20s, the bar has been set!

We'll certainly be doing this again, possibly in May, and in the meantime hopefully the real result will be we've picked up a few new recruits for VH3! This was our biggest recruitment tool in Toronto and there is a lot of crossover, for anyone who sneers at it.
And never has MoM been more vocal in anything, EVER, than his firm NO objection to ever taking part in such an event (4x Coke or Chocolate Milk for the non-drinkers)!



On on!




Urban Gardening

Another tradtition at the World's Worst has become the Post Ski Week run at the Augarten, a park in Vindobona's third district. The park is located not too far from the city centre, a part of it houses the premises (and a performance theatre) for the Vienna Boys Choir (not to be mistaken for the Queer Boys Quoir which were once en vogue chez the Hash) and the two monstrous Flaktürme, relics from WW2.

An art in itself is to try to do some exercise on the smallest possible perimeter and that is what the two Hares The Blessed Saint Norman and Cardinal Munk, both OVH tried to achieve. "Running" at this chapter has become a bit unfashionable as out of a group of twenty a mere 4 or maybe 5 tried to pretend that they were running. But any chance to fight the later winter blues and set you greedy hands on a few cold beers is much welcomed.

It is hard to believe nowadays, but in the 18th and 19th century there were severe floodings inside the park which all occured before the Danube got regulated in the late 1800s. The last part of the run split into a walkers trail that led straight back to the cars and a runners part, well, I got lost on Gaußplatz, at least a few happy ones were able to follow what was intended by the Hares. The main feature during the circle was the appearence of a local law enforcement agent (at 3:30 p.m.!) as a local resident was strongly voicing his protest against our usual festitivies that were comparatively tame. The policeman came, saw, and left with a grin.

via GIPHY

Sunday, 18 March 2018

Back to the Beertap

Straight after Pi Day it was Schweizerhaus opening day, with the usual suspects Dodgy Condom, Cardinal Munk, OVH and yours truly started things at the adjacent Englische Reiter for a couple of warmup drinks. The doors of the Schweizerhaus opened punctually at 11 a.m. and as is always the case there, the place was full within an hour. People kept coming and going, I remember the regarded presence of St. Norman, OVH, Ice Queen, Slush Puppie, Root CAnal, JustIn Beaver and I am sure that I forgot a few.



The Modovidlo Band from Prague, regulars at openings and closings





Something beautiful

Cycle of life (and death) and annual events continues endlessly (if one believes in resurrection and Hash runs on the other side).  The Ski Week Solidarity Hash just saw its 18th edition, this time starting again from Karlsplatz and the aim was the celebrate World Pi Day in style. The great Stephen Hawking passed away on this day (RIP), it was Albert Einsteins birthday (and Mooseheads of course, look here for a more extensive list) and my Cohare the Cardinal brought along a piece of paper with the intented destructions leading through the nicer part of Viennas first district (which Slush Puppie wisely commented like "Thank God, otherwise we would have had to run across the Naschmarkt area again").

To put run events in a nutshell, I will gladly steal Lopsided Backside's comment about the run as following:

"Best run of the year (ALMOST.....just missed the schnapps round).  There was men's fun underwear, women's lingerie, flamingos, Santa Claus, a chicken, some virtual skiing and of course......Beer.  
But BUT! even more spectacular....there was pie and a Pi recital. "

Bear in mind that the Easter Markets in the center of town are open again, we passed by the one at Am Hof and there sure was a PI recital done by the Harald Juhnke Memorial Chicken in front of the PI Wall in the Karlsplatz underpass (of course without looking at the 478 numbers!). Run ended at Schwarzenbergplatz, where Slush Puppie, Beermeister of the Day, provided lovely Stiegl Beer for the circle. On After at Gasthaus Herlitschka. And Ski Week Solidarity Hash Virgin was Saint Norman, OVH.



Praise the Number of Pi! 



Starten bei 0:00

Sunday


I was suspicious about last Sundays location as well as the weather forecast (mild early spring weather) that would make parking near and running within the Schönbrunn Schloßpark challenging. I was then surprised that I actually found a parking space a mere 200 metres away and even more flabbergasted that in the smallish parking lot arriving Hashers constantly seemed able to squeeze their mobiles in between the others, somehow. Hosts of the day were Virgin Hare Just Monika (Walkerstrail) and Hot Property (very experienced).


The Hares, accompanied by the Harald Juhnke Memorial Chicken

Run started into the spacious Schloßpark of Schönbrunn, taking in all the details and accompanied by lots and lots of Viennese who came to enjoy one of the first warm days of the year. (As I am writing this, we are back to snowfall and temperatures below zero degrees Celsius). Coming out of the Schloßpark at the back end of Schönbrunn Zoo, the runners trail continued to an area of posh buildings (mind you, Viennas 13th district is not a cheap place to live). OnOn to the Küniglberg and passing by the main buildings of the ORF coming back to the cars took another couple of running kilometres. Nice and short circle conducted by Cardinal Munk who is the reserve RA amongst other things. And the story continues... 
All pics of this trail can be viewed here.




Chicken trail

Get back to where you once belonged!

Ruki Werch! (means hands up in Russian)

Soixante-neuf!



Sunday, 25 February 2018

Cold Chills

Let's not complain about the weather. I am in favor of ongoing heatwaves during the summer months (and a good few blogposts over the last few summers deal with this subject). On the other hand (you have different fingers), there's also nothing wrong with a few days of snowfall and decent cold. Meaning outside temperatures well below zero degrees celsius. Out to the east of Vienna in Fischamend where there are certainly no slippery hills but parts of our very own Nationalpark Donau Auen - it is a lovely and wonderful area, a recommended place to visit - King Ralph, obivously assisted by Likmm, set a run today.

Not a false trail by definition


Even though the World's Worst is becoming a geriatric affair the always stable numbers in attendance (around 25 today) never cease to surprise one. Markings for runners and walkers trails were explained and the first part of the trail led via a few backroads and across the local river - the Fischa of course - to the housing area on the other side of the main road. From there and through a tricky checkback it was on underneath the motorway A4 and into the snowy and icy forest area. Within short, a Hash view across the River Danube came along and then it was on straight for quite a while alongside the nation's main waterway.  When we all arrived at the songstop it was declared that the walkers may want to head back the easy way and the 7 runners (MTG; 2Bob, Casting C, Free Willy, Squat, Joystick and I) should carry on straight until....  after another 2 or 3 kilometres there was a nasty Fishhook, meaning we had to run all the way back we came. Runners don't give in easily and after another motorway underpass it was back into Fischamend. After some more distance to cover it was on back to the carpark with a beer surprise. Frank Appa beers from a Prague/Bratislava weekend in Breclav were brought along and complemented to Gösser quite nice. And okay, I failed to announce that it was MOMs 1000th run. It wasn't. Still 4 more to go.


"This Hash needs an enema!" says Tickpleaser


Pics of the run can be viewed here.


Odds and Sods

To my surprise (and to document a gap in run numbers) I realized that TBSN's birthday run on Friday a week ago carried no run number, even though Hash Cash was collected and runners got rin credit. Apparently, you got a stat for run without run number. Sounds to me like the pub with no beer. Or even worse, Ich steh an der Bar und ich habe kein Geld ;-)

Anyhow, birthday party leftovers in form of tasty birthday were transported to the run venue in Baden, at the Hotel Sacher party lot. After the run happy faces were seen all around, maybe with one exception...


A Sainted One who's halfway gone

Of all people eating cake slices I could spot the Cardinal, OVH happily munching away TBSN's cake face. But before all this happened, there was a run hared by Grand Mattress Casting Couch and 2Bob leading right into mud and snow and very long uphill. For those with "normal" running shoes like yours truly, this meant slip sliding nightmare, both uphill and then even worse downhill. To my shame I confess that I took the walkers trail from halfway onwards, shortly accompanied by Root CAnal. What seemed like an eternity in slipping away and cursing was actually only some 5 kilometres long, right in time for the beer and birthday cake festivities to commence.

Talking about which, some may remember the old rubber chicken that was in use many years ago during Hash circles. The poor chicken, righfully named Rudi Carrell memorial chicken got ruthlessly stolen by the Hash Ski Weekers and for at least 10 years gets abused on the Chicken races during those Ski Weeks. To my great joy I can herewith announce that a fitting replacement had been detected and presented at the TBSN birthday run, with the man himself having had the honour of the first Down Down out the from honorable Harald Juhnke memorial Chicken. Moronic brotherly pics from the birthday party run can be seen here.



There's a new chikin in town! 




Down in one go! 



Relive run link provided by Lord Glod-Balls, OVH 



Relive 'Hash #1940'

Wednesday, 21 February 2018

A certain number

This was it. The first Hasher from World's Worst hitting the first day of his eighth decade. After all, about a gent one can say these things, in regard to a female being this would be - also for me - tactless. Pics say more than words, so have a look for yourselves:


The Bag and the Blessed Saint Norman, OVH, both had birthday



A remarkably big group came together at the lower end of Erdbergstrasse in Viennas third district at Gasthaus Schwabl, a very neat hangout right oppoiste another highly interesting venue which is the Straßenbahnmuseum (street car museum). Absolutely worth going to. One-off returness just for the occasion included Sinex and The Bag, Needleman and Bootleg Sister and the inevitable Mindphuck. The overall attendence must have been more than 40 good people. with some more having turned up after the run finished.  A bit along muddy paths in the Prater and back over a footbridge (okay, a rather wide on) over the A 23 and back to the Gasthaus where the circle was held outside and saw sparklers, lots of Hashy Birthday singings and one single firework, shot off by Cardinal Munk, OVH.

What followed was a fine birthday dinner with lots of presents, dancing (one such videoclip might crop up at the Christmas party) and a movie about The Blessed Saint Norman which was compiled by Rowed Runner as a labor of love. And, prominently, various huge cakes were baked and presented to the scrounging masses by a few well known Harriettes.
via GIPHY

And, another infamous speech by Cardinal Munk, OVH. I received permission by Mr. Birthday himself to publish it so here it is in all its beauty:


REQUIEM FOR A SAINT



GOOD EVENING FELLOW “SCHNORRERS” AND WHOEVER SAID THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH/DINNER? ITS JUST AS WELL I’M NOT DRINKING, OTHERWISE I WOULD BE PISSED OFF THAT I ONLY GOT ONE FREE BEER! BUT WE  DIDN’T COME HERE FOR THE GRATIS MEAL, DID WE? PLEASE DON’T ANSWER THAT QUESTION.
TONIGHT WE ARE HERE FOR ONE AND ONLY ONE REASON. YES, TONIGHT WE ARE HERE TO CELEBRATE … THE CHINESE NEW YEAR OF THE DOG! OR IS THAT HARE OF THE DOG, I TEND TO CONFUSE THE TWO. BUT THE CHINESE DON’T . THEY ARE VERY FOND OF DOGS… FRIED AND/OR STEWED.
BUT WHAT HAS ALL THIS  TO DO WITH OUR OWN BELOVED AND BLESSED SAINT (STORMIN)NORMAN- FORMERLY KNOWN AS SOIXANTE -NEUF  NORM?
IT’S NOW PRETTY OBVIOUS THAT OUR HERO WILL BE LEAVING HIS 7TH DECADE AND HEADING INTO HIS 8TH WHILE STILL LOOKING AS IF HE IS STILL INTO HIS FIFTH (FOR THOSE WHO'S COMMAND OF AMERICAN -ENGLISH IS ABOVE THAT OF DONALD TRUMP, THERE IS A DOUBLE MEANING IN THAT LAST SENTENCE).YES, THE BLESSED ONE IS THE FIRST TO STEP INTO THE REALMS AGED UNKNOWN.Being 70 MEANS THAT HE HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE 1948 WHICH ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE 1984 IF YOU ARE DYSLEXIC. BEING BORN ON THE 16th OF FEBRUARY HAS MOMUMENTAL IMPORTANCE THROUGH HISTORY. ON THIS VERY SAME DAY IN 600 AD POPE GREGORY THE GREAT DECREED THAT SAYING “GOD BLESS YOU” IS THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO A SNEEZE. IN 1777 MESSIER ADDS M53 TO HIS CATALOGUE (GLOBULAR CLUSTER IN COMA BERENICE). 1868 THE BENEVOLENT &PROTECTIVE ORDER OF ELKS IS FOUNDED IN WAPPINGER FALLS ,NY  AND ON THIS DAY IN 1948  IT RAINED  IN LONDON.
70 YEARS AGO,  THE BRITISH EMPIRE STILL EXISTED. GEORGE VI WAS ITS KING, 1ST MORRIS MINOR ROLLED OFF THE ASSEMBLY LINE, AND THE 1ST EVER COMPUTER PROGRAM RAN IN MANCHESTER. I DON’T HOW FAR IT RAN NOR DO I KNOW IF IT WON. BUT MUFFIN THE MULE WAS THE BIG HIT ON THE BBC AND THE LARGEST ATTENDANCE FOR  AN ENGLISH FOOTBALL LEAGUE GAME  83,260 PEOPLE SAW MAN UNITED DRAW TO ARSENAL. AND IT HAPPENED  TODAY, 70 YEARS AGO. AND SO DID  LULU, SHAKIN STEVENS AND THE BLESSED SAINT NORMAN.

THE BLESSED ONE IS A  PROUD LONDONER   BUT UNFORTUNATELY HE IS  ADDICTED ,….TO THE ADDICTS(Charlton). I HAVEN’T PRIED  INTO THE PERSONAL HISTORY OF HIS YOUTH BUT I KIND OF IMAGINE HE WAS ALWAYS THE PUDGY, LOVABLE SORT OF DORK THROUGHOUT HIS BOYHOOD UNTIL THE TIME HE ARRIVED AT THE VH3. HE CAME TO US WEDDED AND WITH CHILD. HIS LOVELY AND SCARY WIFE, THE FAMOUS ROWED RUNNER HAS TURNED A PIECE OF FLAB AND MOULDED AND BEATEN HIM INTO SHAPE SO THAT WE SEE THE FINAL PRODUCT OF ALL HER EFFORTS BEFORE US THIS EVENING. HE IS A FINE AND NOBEL SPECIMEN OF ATHLETIC MASCULINITY. HIS CHARACTER IS AS LOFTY AS THE CLOUDS THAT HE TREDS UPON . HE IS AN INSPIRATION FOR THOSE WHO QUESTION THE EXISTENCE OF GOD ( OR DOG IF YOU ARE DYSLEXIC AGAIN). IN ONE WORD HE IS BLESSED.
IT IS PROPER THAT HIS SON BE TITLED EL NIÑYO, THE BABY CHRIST!

SO FELLOW VINDOBONANS, LET US RISE AND LIFT OUR GLASSES IN HONOUR OF OUR GRACIOUS   AND GENEROUS  HOST .AND LET US SING TOGETHER

( EITHER “HE’s A HASHER OR HASHY BIRTH F—YOU!)       THE END




Thursday, 15 February 2018

Wir wollen unsren Kunden das Gehirnwasser entziehen



This run towards the end of the funny season with the regarded Hares Lopsided Backside and Primadonna had a special of no less than two (2) drink stops, one each on the walkers as well as on the runners trail. Since their was a strange looking bottle comprising blue liquid that looked and tasted like anti-freeze .... 


Sipping cocktails of Blue, Red and Grey

... the title of this post refers to one of the more original songs by the inevitable Mike Krüger, a German singer most popular in the 1970s.





Funnily dressed runners and walkers set off to a course around parts of Viennas 23rd district that comprised a green area called the Draschepark and most prominently the recreational area Wienerberg, an often used trail area in days of yore. A very steep and slippery uphill part was crowned by the aforementioned drinkstop (and some extra drinks that were found on the spot which we left untouched).

Who knows?


The walkers trail drink stop featured a bottle of egg liquor and some trail mishap caused by walking Hare Lopsided Backside (forgot the right direction apparently), she received a rewarding Down Down for this in the circle. The steep and slippery path downhill from the runners drink stop saw one guy touching the muddy floor - guess who? - of course it had to be me, dragged down by our doggie Just Lucky who pushed his leash a little to harsh. YAP! Lots more mud to cover those running shoes on the way alongside the Wienerberg Teich and a very pretty last part along the Liesingbach. The main attraction during the circle was a huge pile of Faschingskrapfen, brought along and distributed to the hungry masses by Cardinal Munk, OVH. Look here for all 68 (not 69!) pics of this run.

Two of the very best 
Alongside the Wienerbergteich 

Would you like a snack?






Relive 'Hash #1939 Feb 11th'



Relive link provided by Primadonna

Monday, 5 February 2018

On the outside looking in

Let us start this post from the back end of a remarkable run, with a drink stop that was placed right below the elevated motorway which is the A 23, a much frequented trafficway from the north to the south of Vienna. To get to this strange place underneath, a kind of storage for various sorts of concrete blocks, fly-overs that once were used during roadworks, out of use direction signs, masses of old road lamps one had to continue alongside the motorway guide rail and underneath the actual elevated driving surface. Having arrived at the drink stop we were rewarded with a bottle of tasty Wodka Wyborowa, much welcomed stuff on a chilly day.

You'll know when you get there

Fly-over

Drink Stop! 


Right opposite the drink stop there is the old Biedermeierfriedhof (Cemetery) where there is a Mozart Momument to be found. Has the man actually been buried there? They say that the cemetery area has the richest Lilac growth in all of Vienna in springtime. I will sure be there to find out for myself when the time comes. Before we got near the Drinkstop (and running by the homeground of the local soccer club Rennweger SV) the trail was set all the way through the area of the Arsenal, another very interesting place with its own rich history and a museum that is well worth to be visited. The run started off near the Vienna Biocenter Sankt Marx (I admit that I had to look up the history of this place) and, surrounded by an architectural Mishmash of old municipal housing (Gemeindebauten), brand new looking appartment blocks, a small batch of urban farming, deserted and out of use carparks (from one of these we did start a run many years ago) and the always present motorway.

Biedermeier Friedhof (Sankt Marxer Friedhof)


Agreeable beer at the circle with a short snowshower coming in, OnIn at a nearby Pizzeria. Look here for all the pics of this weird run.



Relive link provided by Lord Glo-Balls, OVH.

Relive 'Hash #1938'



A song by the great Ernst Molden about the Biedermeierfriedhof


Wednesday, 31 January 2018

And we mustn't forget

On the chase for various up and coming 1000 personal runs with the World's Worst . The next to be inducted into the "Order of the Vindobona Hash (OVH)" will be Flying Dutchman and MOM and, with some ground to cover, Ice Queen and yours truly.  The sole Harriette in these ranks, assisted by Just Debbie used the Blue Moon occurrence for a walk (you can't really refer to a distance of less than 2 kilometres as a "run") that started off from the Metrostation Schottenring, was leading all along the Franz Josef Kai and Schwedenplatz (with the occasional short runners loop, three runners out of a folk of 20; Mind the Gap, The Blessed Saint Norman, OVH, and Joystick) to a Drinkstop featuring Schnaps of highly dubious looking consistency.

On across the Marienbrücke (with a Hashview pointing to the Motto am Fluss) and a little further to the Otto Wagner Schützenhaus (yes, I am reading the sights displayed on Google Maps here) with an inventive way home along a platform of the U2 Metrostation Schottenring. MOM, Grandmeister of the Blue Moon Hash, was entrusted to buy the Beer supplies and came along with cans of Landgraf (?), something I have never heard of, let alone tasted before. A nice occasion altogether and fun was had by most, as far as I could see. Naturally, a few visual embellishments to follow.


A part of a typical run blessing ceremony before take off

Hashers pit stop 

Who can spot the typo? Comment and win a prize at one of ze next runs



A most fitting piece of music to round this post up:




 

Sunday, 28 January 2018

Are you my Sunshine?

Thanks to Global Warming we have not had decent winters or rather decent winter weather in Vindobona for years, althoughsometimes I would have loved to bundle up. But there is always a next time. Next year. Or maybe next week. To-days weather way a-greying with a wee bit of sunshine and 13 degrees celsius. Not really normal. What was normal instead was a run set by Mind the Gap and King Ralph that was leading to a few greener parts of that district of Vienna (such as the Aupark Jedlesee). Naturally, getting to the Danube required to cross a walkers bridge across the nearby motorway A22. The Donauinsel, which was put in place to prevent the nations capital from floodings, is 21 kilometres long (and maybe a few hundred metres wide) which makes Hashing - a culture technique if you want that requires a good liver, a bit of stamina and orientation - foreseeable. In that respect that false trails cannot lead too far off as they would finish down at the Waterline on one side or the other of the Island. 

At long last, coming all the way to the Nordbrücke and crossing a walkers bridge again, the back trail led along another oft-used starting point in recent times (the Sinawastingasse in the 21st district) and back to the carpark (and the cold Stiegl Beers.) Visual link to the walkers trail (yes, there also was a runners trail) provided by Lord Glo-Balls, OVH.

 

Relive 'Hash 1937'




Slush Puppie and Cardinal Munk, OVH have been singing the Hymn of Upper Austria (Oberösterreichische Landeshymne), a song I have never heard before. Okay, fair enough, I come from Lower Austria (Niederösterreich), that might be an excuse.



Wednesday, 24 January 2018

Beer News

Here comes a strange test result of two guys who are known as the Bier Probierer (beer tasters). They sample beer that is said to have helium added to it. Can this be true? Find out for yourselves ;-)





Speaking of which, Cardinal Munk (OVH) presented a newspaper article about a Japanese Brewery which launched collagen-infused beer aimed at female customers. To be continued sometimes.

Monday, 22 January 2018

Flotsam

Here are some more bits about yesterdays run in Blumau (and I even found more information about this weird place):



Relive 'Hash #1936'


(Link provided by Lord Glo-Balls, OVH). In this respect I hasten to add that I would love to include these Relive and ony other run related links here, just send them to me, you shall be given credit and I needn't even be bribed with beer. There are still a few bottles of cool and lovely Schremser Beer in the house.
The following pics were given to me by Tickpleaser, thanks for that. Yesterdays expedition certainly is an early candidate for the run of the year.





MOM!


Alter Herrenausweg? HANG ON! 







via GIPHY

Sunday, 21 January 2018

The Bang

About every other year Deodorant comes up with a run that is much in demand amongst the members of the World's Worst. The area he takes us time and again is the former (in a timespan of 10 years ago) Powderfactory in Blumau-Neurißhof. This was factory was built in the late 19th century and was run by the Imperial Army. Its infamous reputation stems from a major explosion in 1922 that left a vast array of ruins, tunnels and underground shelters of all sorts and forms. Interesting information about the place's history can be found here, here and here (with lots of pics.)

To come back there in the winter (and the freezing wind of course) forms its own sort of excitement and the promise of a Glühwein stop at the Hares place well, maybe motivated some of the pack. Some of the tunnels were pitch dark inside so torches (flashlights) were of the essence. Lots of climbing and then a few halfway decent running sections eventually led back into the land of the living, the following Glühwein stop (which came up a while after the completely ignored song stop) was welcomed by all. The end was near (as it always is) and the carpark came up again. Not too long circle with a Hashy birthday Down Down for Ice Queen.

A genuine Ostrich Sh*thole

Traintime?

OnIn! 

Hashy Birthday Ice Queen! 




Monday, 8 January 2018

Yes, we does

As sure as early January days are the runs at the Tickpleaser residence up on Gießhübl. One of the usual features of these winter runs is snow, ice and Chili Con Carne afterwards. The Chili was to-days special for the On After, snow and ice were absent in favour of a bit of mud (not too much actually).
The title of this post has been pointed out to me by the Cardinal Munk, OVH and refers to this piece of music.


The bare truth and nothing else, as seen on an Hungarian street market 


With the help of CoHares Mind the Gap, No Balls Prize and Squeeze Box Mama (Chili Hare) a picturesque run was successfully squeezed out of that area, showing the inevitable ascents, runners and some walkers parts, no song stop but a further and rather steep climb up the hill to get to the Salzstanglspitz (with an altitude of 535 m). I was starting to doubt the promised beer or should I say Schnaps Stop but have to admit that the reward came in plenty and in form of glorious Bailoni Wachauer Gold-Marillenlikör. YUM! Good stuff for sure. After the circle with second rate beer (apart from two cans of Löwenbräu which I stole immediately), it was on to two pots of first class Chili (meat and veggie alike).

Heading out! 

Run panorama provided by Primadonna. Thanks for that.

Relive 'Afternoon Jan 7th'