Saturday, 26 August 2017

Setting the tone

And on the Friday of Eurohash week all the Hares (including Slush Puppie, Cardinal "The Sweeper" Munk, OVH and myself) went out to set those respective trails in the Areas of Semmering, Hainburg, the Lobau, Gablitz and eventually south of Vienna, the Baden Area (though no run actually was leading through that town).

Our glorious run number eight (aptly titled as "Easy Does It") was leading from Pfaffstätten to Mödling, all the way through the extensive vineyards and lots of forest area. Another hot summer day (and we had and still have plenty of them!) ensured that we would lose the occasional kilogram to make space for the loads of Ottakringer Beer over the weekend,

Curiosity forced me over to pick up my goodie bag and to see and hear the Apples Band play again after a long time, as they performedon our weekend events in 2002 (1000th run in Langschlag, Lower Austria) and 2003 (No Sarz on Marz, Burgenland).

In the evening it was time fir the event to be officially opened and I was impressed by the sheer size of the venue (Ankerbrot Expedit Hall in Viennas 10th district) where beer and wine were flowing in abundance. I liked the Ottakringer Pils Beer. What was a bit less impressive was (as has been discussed on that social Media platfomr) that the (delicious) food was served from one end of the hall only which inevitably cause massive waiting lines. Yet, on the other hand, former member of the Worlds Worst Saw Hua who now resides in Malaysia chatted me up all the half an hour way to the food stall, a pleasure I could not too often enjoy while she ran still with us here in Vienna. After dinner of course there was the much anticipated Song Contest (how could I forget that?). 5 Hash Chapters participated and the Sembach H3 were the glorious winners with their following contribution. Magnificent indeed, as all the other contributions.

Not wanting to be affected by excessive drinking, I took off in time to be ready for those Saturday festivities. To be continued with run reports ASAP.


Wednesday, 23 August 2017

Picking it up

I am admitting that the summer break took a little longer than I had planned and, amongst udder things, included an act of definite self-destruction as a best man at a friends wedding in form of countless beers and their infamous companions , those creepy Gin-Tonics until the wee hours. Happened to the best of us I know and kept me sober afterwards for more than a week.  Meaning that I won't do it again, until the next time of course. Here is some topic-related literature that is worth reading, also in book-form. 

Eurohash came and went. My own impression was that the whole event was impressive. Read a very interesting review here. From what I could read at respective group on that social media platform, opinions of our regarded visitors were mostly and overall very positive. I hasten to add that I have not been part of the organizing comittee but acted as one of the Hares on Run # 8, out there a little bit south of Vienna running A to B from Pfaffstätten (they sure grow lovely wines and are a village of a renowned Winefest every year in August) to Mödling, Goldene Stiege.

More of that later.

My Eurohash experience started off at Karlsplatz at the start point for the Red Dress run and when I walked over to the place after work one could see that lovely red colour shining joyfully, impressing a few very attentive law enforcement servants who drove their mobiles very close nearby, although everything had been orderly registered by Ralph, the King (aka King Ralph).

The aim (KR's aim) was to send the participants off in groups of 50 so that the Gösser Beerinsel at the lower end of the Prater Hauptallee could be reached by all casually in time for dinner. Yet and obviously the cool Ottakringer Beer fired the runners up so in less than half an hour all those who wanted to run took off. Naturally much later came a few lost souls along, wearing all red, asking the whereabouts of start and trail. I never really found out what happened to them. My evering concluded in the Schweizerhaus, accompanied by Likk'mm, My Pint of View, Äugele from a German Hash Chapter somewhere in the Pfalz and the old faithful Cardinal Munk, OVH.

I see red!

Pic taken by Mícheál Ó Caoinleáin before the Red Dress run ‎

Sunday, 9 July 2017

Eurohash revisited

With the heady week of Eurohash behind us I try to sort my impressions - very subjective of course - and the incidents and accidents of all this into a series of the next few blog posts. At the end of next week after a short holiday in Austrias most western province of Vorarlberg.

My sympathy goes out to the injured ones Fruit Manager (got hurt on our run # 8 . the best one of course ;-) and Bronco Buster (broken fibula on another run). Have a speedy recovery. It was an honour to host all several hundred of you as guests to Eurohash 2017. To be continued.

Fruit Machine being rescued on Trail # 8

Marie Tamponette

Monday, 3 July 2017

All will be revealed

Eurohash week is upon us and it started in style to-night with run # 1900 up at the Cobenzl carpark, venue of many a memorable run in the history of the World's Worst. One run that I try to forget without success is the one Sunday one year during wintertime when all of Vienna plus neighbouring regions were up there to Ski/Sleighride/get drunk/any other reason, apart from 20 Hashers. This caused of course a massive traffic congestion with the nearest parking space for S.Energys and my former Hashmobile about 2 kilometres away from the start of the run. Well, when we arrived per pedes at long last we realized that apart from the carkey we forget our wallet, driving license etc. at home. And the icing - pun intended here - was that the beer froze in the old Hash Down Down Mugs. I am not kidding you.

Yet snowfall in July in Vindobona is still a rarity and I must have counted approx 70 Hashers altogether who wanted to start Eurohash week in style. The trail was divided in a runners and a walkers path, with the Hares Casting Couch, Ice queen, Joystick and Slush Puppie. I went on the runners trail and this route was leading down for quite a bit alongside the Höhenstrasse (look up the interesting history of this road here and here). A few faces from another Hashing life I recognised in Higgins (from long gone Hashing days in Paris), Saw Hua (we know who she is) and Loping Scrotum from the Copenhagen Hash (who came down to our run # 1000 in Langschlag in 2002). I quickly learned that the runners group was a bit more dedicated than the average Vindobonian pack, accordingly I had to puff puff my way back to the tail end of the runners group to gain a little speed in the runs second half.

Crossing the Höhenstrasse the forest trail was leading in a steep way uphill towards the Kahlenberg from where it was on downhill again, still long running stretches. After arriving back at the Carpark and having grabbed the Hash Beer of Eurohash week Boney M. (Frau Doktor) approached me with the question "say, are we back already? Because I thot that this would be just the beerstop!". At the circle there were strange memories brought forward concerning former VH3 GM Monsoon Drain (from very many years ago). Apparently in 1991 he organised an event and left the country/had to leave Ostrich country before the actual date of the event. It seems that St. Norman, OVH and a few more had to save that run # 500 weekend. On after at the Cobenzl restaurant.

The booze container for Eurohash week

According to my reliable sources this container is a little too well filled for the surface and its feet are slowly sinking into the soft tarmac underneath. A second beer truck has been ordered to the party venue to help lighten the precious load. And, be absolutely careful where you take a seat.


Friday, 30 June 2017


Eurohash minus 7 days. Ok that's enough, no more counting down the days. An interesting venue to run is the Seeschlacht area, which signifies a recreational site a bit outside and northwest of Vienna in the city of Langenzersdorf, location of the former parental home both to Casting Couch as well as Kuty Pi. The Seeschlacht is another lake that offers good swimming, yet in comparison to No Mercy Mistress' Pool (that run comes up in July) or the Figurteich has lots more mosquitos waiting to nibble on sweaty Hashers (after the run and before and after the swim naturally).

Casting Couch, partly assisted by the Great Kuntini has set a long run starting off towards the green and yellowish fields (it is very dry in Vindobona these days) towards the Danube river and that stretch along the main bike path next to the water might have lasted for three kilometres (?). In all case the length of that part of the run was sufficient to separate the 5 or 6 runners, me right amongst them, from the 20 or so walkers. A few sly Checkpoints and direction changes could not fool anyone as to the left these was the mighty river floating by and to the right we had to Motorway A 22 (Donauuferautobahn) which a certain no-no in terms of turning off.

After a longer while and taking an underpass it was on off to - of course railway lines! - and Gottseidank no one fell or got run over by a train (though an angry Engine driver could be heard honking his horn). At the start of the run there were no Hares and Prof.Dr.Dr. Felch, OVH promised that "there would be a beer stop". Needless to say that there was no beer stop - Alternative Facts here! - and running back through a part of Bisamberg and a much longer part of Langenzersdorf took us all back to the carpark. The very first visitor of Eurohash (ha!) came by which was our good friend Herpes, coming all the way from Jakarta.

A circle with cold beer and the swim in the lake - water temperature 26 degrees Celsius already! - and the On After at a nearby Würstelstand. And that were the first 6 months of the year.

Are we all having a good time?


Sunday, 25 June 2017

To burn off the crazy

12 more days until Eurohash (and I will finally stop counting down the days ;-)  This summers first definitve heat wave has been lingering over the city for 2 weeks now. In a bit of a rush I tried to sneak in a substitute location for the traditional run in the area of the Figurteich (roadworks on the way, my dear readers) by setting a short run in Biedermannsdorf, another smallish suburb south of Vienna. The aim was to get a little bit of exercise (but not too much) at outside temperatures well above 30 degrees Celsius and on the other hand to take advantage of Richard Kopf's (OVH) absence. You know, great RA and everything, yet always on the verge of letting the circles go on forever. And the kitchen at the On After, the fine Bikers Heurigen Holzgruber, closed at 9 p.m.

Batman forever! RIP Adam West

All said and done, a little to and fro within Biedermannsdorf ("Excuse us, what is this white stuff that you're throwing down here? What? Flour? I know the bag sez so, but it seemed to us that you were marking our building site! Ah ok, might as well continue!")  Every Hasher who has set runs in the past must have been asked these crucial questions in one form or another.  There is this nice short stretch alongside forest and a stream that fitted in just fine and after running by the picturesque trainstation of Laxenburg-Biedermannsdorf (in terms of looking a bit shabby)  it was already on back to where the run started from (Running time approx 50 minutes). The walkers and the latecomers (Lord Glo-Balls, OVH) easily caught up in time. The enjoyable Heurigen scenery rounded up another hot day. And, talking about Adam West, this is my favourite scene of him starring Batman. Amongst very many others of course.

Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Does the moon really care?

Same number of days til Eurohash (still 16). Wednesday last week saw me invited to come along as a Cohare by Casting Couch and Se* Energy to help set a Full Moon run (I know, less important than the World's Worst but still) in Vindobonas 23rd district. A bit of an old chestnut but always worth coming back to (check out last years blog post), apart from a bit of light jogging around the block is coming back to Mimis Stüberl, a Gasthaus unlike most others and well worth a comparison to our own Hash House, the Gösser Bierinsel and the great Grüß-Di-A-Gott Wirt. After a short run and a well conducted circle by R and A Ice Queen and Slush Puppie, OVH it was on over to the meeting place for the owners of their lonely Hearts, spiced up by the unimitable laugh og Mimi herself. Certainly not a tourist place with agreeable food and Puntigamer on tap.

Just add Water

Eurohash minus 16 days. The clock is ticking. The various Hares for the weekend runs have been around the place and there is a high chance that we and our visitors will be having a glorious Eurohash weekend with memorable runs.

The rare occasions on which RA Richard Kopf (duly assisted by Nail Me) sets his annual run (and I cannot remember him doing more than one Haring a year) have turned into regular visits to the  Mühlwasser in the 21st district, certainly one of the nicer areas in the Ostrich capital. Se*-o-Phone and family, alumni now living in Ozzieland have set many a trail in that area in the past. Running along the water and through lots of green and forest are reminders - at least for me  - on how the Danube river must have looked like before its regulation in the late 19th century. A run feature certainly was a welcomed beerstop (with cold beer!). This was followed by a few muddy patches and then nearly back to the carpark outside the Strandbad Stadlau. No Balls Prize, always at hand with the Gang Bang Bus when the Hash seems to have spacious desires reversed his van in the midst of a public bike path to get the cold beer as close to the Hash circle as Swedes could humanly do. Hardly any mosquitos, must be too warm even for them.

The Mühlwasser area in Vindobonas 21st district, all within Viennas city limits

I have to admit that Richard Kopfs once-in-a-year runs are getting better somewhat, must be mainly due to Nail Me being the decisive influence ;-) We want more of that. (2 runs of these two Hares in 2018!)


Thursday, 8 June 2017

Exactly like you

Eurohash minus 29 days. The excitement is growing as are the number of postings on the socical media outlets that are dealing with this by far the biggest happening in the history of the World's Worst. Lots of distractions going on these days (Heurigen and such) and I feel bad for not having written in, errr, a few days. I take this as a good sign, so I've just cracked open some cool cold stuff from Germany (thanks to generous house guests from Dinkelsbühl, lovely place) and here is the latest gossip de Vindobona. And, of course, a reference to the title of this blog post.

On Monday a week ago I came up with a run in our backyards of Wiener Neudorf, a smallish and industrious city with lots of industry on the southern edge of Vienna. A Short but scenic trail alongside the old part of Wiener Neudorf (yes, we do have some patrches of forest paths left here) was leading underneath and inevitably had to cross back over the Südautobahn into the other half of the, well, older part of town. As we all are growing a bit sluggish and weary it took the slowest of the slowest nearly 50 minutes to come back to the carpark for a trail I needed a bit more of an hour to set. OnIn at our preferred local Heurigen Weinbau Hacker where we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. The owner is a nice guy and the place is a comfortable watering hole that we (Se* Energy, myself and friends) go to regularly.

Your MOM with bad facial hairdo

Me after a Hairtrim on a Hareday

A not so untypical OnAfter at the great Heurigen Hacker in Wiener Neudorf

The present I received for our 30th wedding anniversary. Thanks a LOT for that, my beloved SE :-) 


Thursday, 25 May 2017

Until the shepherd leads his flock away

Euriohash minus 43 days and the clock is ticking. The excitement is growing, there was a Concept Party at our very own Hash House in the Prater and I have the impression that the pieces of the Eurohash puzzle seem to start falling into place.

Last Monday saw the first King Good Memorial run in Laxenburg, a place that holds many memories for the Vindobona Hash and a former and current workplace for some of our so-called runners.  Cardinal Munk, OVH and his CoHares No Balls Prize and MOM made extensive use of the picturesque scenery in the park and we were asked before the run to think of our late friend as we were stumbling along.

Photo taken by Se'* Energy

After running around the better part of that beautiful area it was on back to where we started, whith cold drinks waiting underneath that big old plane tree. During the circle Lord Glo Balls, OVH dished out some more run certificates, amongst those a fat one for Mind the Gap who reached his 1000th run with the World's Worst. Following a tradition, he was inducted into the Order of the Vindobona Hash (OVH) and became only the fifth such member following Lord Glo-Balls, Cardinal Munk, The Blessed Saint Norman and Mohair von F-Kopf (formerly known as Richard Kopf).

Laxenburg Schlosspark

I sucessfully managed to get my greedy hands and the induction speech, which was done by all four current members, here is an unabridged version thereof.(BTW, still no moronic pics, assorted ones  will be added when they will habe sobered up and publish them).


Procession as follows:
Lord Glo-Balls, Cardinal Munk, The Blessed Saint Norman, Mohair von F-Kopf

Cardinal Munk (CM): We gather today to celebrate a wondrous occasion on the annals of the Vindobona Hash. A mortal of flesh and blood will become immortal (immoral) in the eyes of his peers:

Lord Glo-Balls (LGB): It is just that the former Hasher known as Mind the Gap has duly reached the plateau of 1000 runs entitling him to become the 5th member of the illustrious order of the Vindobona Hash or OVH.
Through his dedication, endurance and sacrifice he has now achieved recognition as a mainstay of the Vindobona Hash.


Blessed Saint Norman (BSN): With the ceremony of induction the candidate officially will be granted the title of Prof. Dr. Dr. Felch who mus at all times carry a felching straw with him (BSN hands hima straw).

Mohair von F-Kkopf (MvF): With this title comes the duty of physical examination of all Harriettes when necessary or when the occasion seems appropriate.


LGB: Do you accept the honour which is bestowed upon you in the name of the OVH?


BSN: Will you fulfill the extensive duties required of this illustrious membership such as drunkenness and debauchery?


MvF: Will you give extensive physical examinations to all Harriettes in sickness and in health and especially in felching?


(Each of the members of the OVH will then take the "Holy Vindobona" (pic to follow) and individually, one after another, tap the left then the right shoulder and finally the head of the Candidate, CM finally will say

CM: In the name of the Holy Vindobona and HE that drives us to drink, we now officially proclaim you as Prof. Dr.Dr . Felch.
ARISE and receivce your artefacts of office!

BSN will present a pack of straws and help the Doctor into his white smock.

MvF will next hang the Stethoscope around the doctors neck.

LGB will then pin the order of the OVH onto the Doctors coat.

CM will say Go forth Prof. Dr.Dr. Felcj and wreak Havoc amongst Hashdom worldwide.


Friday, 19 May 2017

All that's left

Eurohash minus 49 days. We're getting close to the big event, all the necessary preparations seem to be working out in one way or the other and the beat of the Hash goes on. What's left to report instead of Flying Dutchmans latest run on the Donauinsel last Monday? How about some animalic diplomatic encounter in the Lainzer Tiergarten, in Viennas 13th district. This of course leads straight to the notorious musical references one, two and three (Gasp). Or, part of not so old Ostrich political history, a reference that one of this country's esteemed leaders was making to these well, sort of comparisons.

The second half of the week saw two important dwinking events happen at the same time within Viennas city centre, with the distance near enough between the two so one could stagger to and fro. The Wiener Bierfest has become as much an institution as the Waldviertel Tage (another Ostrich region presenting themselves in the heart of the Capital, clever move). The upcoming weekend will see trail reccies for the Eurohash weekend and on Monday we will have first the King Gook Memorial run. Read about him here.

High five at the Wiener Bierfest

A lovely beertruck from the 1960s from the Zwetller Brewery at the Waldviertel Tage

Self explanatoy


Wednesday, 10 May 2017

Two Virgins

Eurohash minus 58 days. Okay, we know that the title of this post has been ruthlessly stolen from a musical piece (sort of a whole album) by a very well known legend. In addition, it shall point out that last nights run up at the Liechenstein was set by two Virgin Hares (Lucky Me and Wayne F*cksky).

Memories of our Virgin Hare Experiences from 30 years ago with the Warsaw Hash came to mind when Se* Energy and yours truly reliably crossed our own fresh laid trails after having been out in the country. But with pracitice comes experience. The Liechenstein area, which is hilly, picturesque and full of forest paths also houses a Burg (castle) where for several decades Elfriede Ott, a famous Ostrich theatre Actress, performed theatre pieces by our beloved playwright Johann Nestroy (1801 - 1862). 

The trail for the fair group of 25 Hounds started off in direction passing by the Burg Liechtenstein to our left, alongside one main walking/running path and then split into a walkers and a runners trail. Not long after that the ones who pretended to run a bit faster than the walking/swaying rest tried hard but unsuccessfully to find any more flourmarks. Heck, the Final Kuntdown (returnee of the week) was up front (it is only just to say that after he changed his diet he looks much slimmer and fitter).

The Schwarzer Turm overlooking Mödling

As the right guess was that this trail would lead more or less straight back to the carpark Tickpleaser and I decided to do a bit of more scenic running and so we passed by the sights which are the Schwarze Turm and the ruins of the so called Amphi Theatre (all artifically built) and, after long last back to the carpark where we enjoyed the nonquality of brutally cheap beer (Skol, Steffl and the likes) and the beginning rain and chilling wind. (Thanks a LOT, RA Richard KOPF ;-)
Give the Hares credit for trying their best.

And, parts of last weeks ast weeks amount of trivia features that cussing can make you stronger. Be aware that if you belch too loud and there is an Ostrich law agent nearby you could get into trubble.

A song that I love listening to was done by the Chicago Transit Authority. later on known as Chicago. Read about the story of the Song here.

Wednesday, 3 May 2017

Long Way Home

Eurohash minus 66 days. After the first days of May have passed and I have just returned from a brief visit with some buddies to the local Heurigen of our choice I find if appropriate to summarize a few thoughts about last Sundays run, way out in Langenlois, home town of some very renowned makers of fine wines.

Lopsided Backside having celebrated one of the bigger birthdays did set another one a long way from our home in the south of Vienna (100 kilometres) but what is distance to a dedicated follower of Hash Fashion? No Balls Prize was the Co Hare, the crowd was huge (including long time no C Queenie) and the trail was described as a scenic one with two dwink stops (Beer and Softies) and in no time it was on off.

No false promises were made here as the trail was carefully leading all the way into the green and an abundance of vineyards, soon cameth along the first and not too long after that the second much welcomed drink stop. Even a panoramic platform with a view overlooking the better part of the Kamptal was provided and so it seemed to be appropriate that all were in good mood once the circle started.

A platform with no Hashers, food and drinks were served on a different date here

Wife, 2 kids and yours truly decided in a sly move to evade that circle early in order to get food faster from the nearby OnAfter at the excellent Gasthaus Zwoni. On a different note, I may have been watching that one soccer game too many, but we have proof that at least German Soccer Players have tried to excel in making Hit Singles over the years. Listen for yourself to this remarkable musical example.

Tuesday, 25 April 2017

Old Red Wine

Eurohash minus 73 days. Today marks the 35th birthday of the Vindobona Hash House Harriers which is quite an achievement (Hashy birthday!). Old Red Wine, well past its prime. May have to finish it after crossing the line. Most of the Ostrich Hashers who run with the World's Worst these days have either not been born or were completely unaware what Hashing or the Hash House Harriers were or meant back then. (What did YOU do in 1982?) The Warsaw Hash which is Se* Energys and my Mother Hash was founded in April of 1983 and we joined their fold during an assignment in Poland in 1988.

Over the years here in Vienna the runs starting from the beloved Grüß Di A Gott Wirt have become a joyful tradition to both mark the start of the monday evening runs and the birthday run of the VH3. For the third time over the last ten years (starting off with the 25th anniversary) the great Vienna Pipes performed their art in the circle, there were fireworks, special runners like Beanman (only active Hasher that did run # 1 in Vindobona, see the very first  Rehash here) and Mindphuck turned up, other survivors from Hashing year #1 here are Lord Glo-Balls, OVH and Cardinal Munk, OVH.  As in every year, the trail led all the way up to the Hermannskogel (highest elevation point in Vienna) where numerous bottles of Sekt and tasty Chocolate cake were had and the inevitable anthem Tiny Bubbles by Don Ho was sung.

A special credit goes to the helping hands MOM and Mind the Gap who assisted Cardinal Munk in carrying the heavy load (lots of Sektbottles with lotsa kilos of Icecubes) up that fateful hill. And, of course, to Stefan, owner of the Grüß Di A Gott Wirt who always sacrifices his and his staffs free evening to be able to celebrate with us. Pics and (hopefully) a video of the Vienna Pipes taking it away will be posted when they are available.

Friday, 21 April 2017


This song is posted for no particular reason apart from this gentleman being my favourite singer from Italy, and this song apparently had been inspired by another renowned musician.

Simple Expression

Eurohash minus 77 days. Eastermonday run in the midst of an amazing fortnight with weather conditions from plus 20 degrees down to a definite snow storm two days ago. These events have become a regular tradition that Ice Queen and Slush Puppie have established over the years and (no exaggeration from my side) these runs are getting constantly better. Starting off from the far side of the Perchtoldsdorfer Heide, the trail was  constantly leading uphill – as usual with Eastereggs hidden at the checkpoints – and by the Parapluiberg Schutzhaus and even further and steeper uphill eventually to top at the Kammersteiner Hütte, crowned by an impressive view of the entire region atop a windy observation tower.  Lots of wood garlic around and the highpoint for those not too fond of Eastereggs was without doubt the Eggnog (Eierlikör) stop. A creamy affair by all means.

The Famous Pimpsqueak and...

his newly acquired bunch of best drinking buddies

Nice circle after a truly well planned run. My compliments to the Hares.

Slush Puppie and Ice Queen


Not a suitable type of tiny bubbles for our 35th birthday run on Monday, let's stick with the Sekt instead.

Saturday, 15 April 2017

What we do here

Eurohash minus 83 days. Bringing back the World's Worst to lovely Siegenfeld after quite some years was a fine task by the Hares Casting Couch and 2Bob and they are herewith given credit by me and all those who love rolling hills, vast forests and the feeling that a nations capital is still a mere 30 kilometres away.

Due to very fair weather parking outside the main place, parking near the Gasthaus Skilitz (starting point) was very hard to find (tho they extended their car parking space by 300 percent since we were there last time) and so Se* Energy and I were late, just a little, and had to do a live start together with the agreeable crowd of more than 30. The trail quickly split into a runners and a walkers part, leading past a remarkable assembly of houses in a tiny place called Rosental. One of the local houses had lots of artsy looking statutes decoratively places in the garden, and when the sluggish Moron brothers will have uploaded the pics from this run we all can peruse a little exhibition.

Example 1

Example 2

Ice Queen was lamenting that she could not pic up enough wood garlic (Lieber hunger ich mit Leerbauch, als ich ess' etwas mit Bärlauch) and Hare Casting Couch asked if I was carrying my telephone with me ( I did) for she was concerned that the walking group got lost. Second Hare 2Bob already left to look for them at the trail's tail end when a call to another Harriette (Se* Energy in fact) revealed that the walkers must have been MUCH FASTER than the rest and were ahead of ze runners.

In the end it was on back to the carpark and the usual circle proceedings. Towards the end of the circle  Chucker F*cker started to whine that JustAnn had been running with our chapter for a year now and she still was not bestowed a Hash Name (SO? The time is right when the time is right!) and in a move that surprised us all he bent his knee and proposed to JustAnn ("So here is to Mrs. F*cker!).


On After at the nearby Gasthaus where they waiters seemed to have already had a stressful day ("So you made a reservation in the garden? Tough, you see that all of our 6 tables in the garden that would easily hold 150 are taken. Go inside"!)

We as a mini group of four grabbed the one empty table at hand and within half an hour most Hashers were sitting outside after their lunchtime guests had left. There is plenty of room to improve here, dear Gasthaus staff! Memories from past visits are certainly fond.

Wednesday, 12 April 2017


Eurohash minus 86 days. Last week saw the aforementioned Steiermarkdorf at the Rathausplatz in Vienna city centre and as usual, loyal followers of this event were met and a few of them pictured for posterity.  Outside conditions were wet and a little windy. A real "Herzenssteirer" cannot but neglect the bad weather (for there is only the wrong clothing) and fill his heart again with joy, year after year.

A local cardinal im Zirbenbett (look that term up)

Warmup Workout while wanting White Wine

 A local tradition are the Ratschen.(Easter ratchets). One such "Ratschenbauer" always makes his way up the capital of Ostrichland to dipslay his artful products (as seen below). 

The Ratschenbauer

Meanwhile there was a smallish Food Festival festuring Lower Austrian Products taking place not too far from the Steiermarkdorf. Does that sign look like they were encouraging their visitors to become waste divers?

 A nearby "Genussfest", hopefully not straight out from the Garbage Container

Eventually, our local Cardinal had to spend a few days in hospital to get treatment for, well, whatever. To speed up his recovery, a well known nurse swung by and he was given an injection with what looks like pure love to me.

He has to admit it's getting better!

Where is the Hash Context? Due to miserable weather the TGIF crowd whimped out from their original intention to sample some great white wine from Styria and convened (presumably whining) at a nearby Irish Pub on Friday evening.

Wednesday, 5 April 2017

Urban Jazz

Apart from the nearing Eurohash in three months and the changing seasons (into springtime that is), tomorrow will see the opening of an event that lasts but four days every year and in the evenings is literally taken by storm by the Vindobonians (not just the Hashers). I am talking about the Steiermarkdorf, a four day extravaganza that was started in 1996 and as far as I am aware is the most cleverly made presentation of one Austrian province for another one.

This festival includes touristic as well as wine and dine specialities, you can have your own Lebkuchenherzen made and as much as the Schweizerhaus opening it symbolizes a bit the transition from winter (?) into spring. Mentioning the Steiermark, what has become of the Graz Hash? Reminiscing about all those runs that I have taken part within Vienna, areas like the Cobenzl, the Leopoldsberg and the Kahlenberg (infamous V4+1 run in 1997, 5 hours long!), the Grüß Di A Gott Wirt as well as all those Ski Week Solidarity runs either in the quarters around the Karlsplatz or near the Votivkitche, the Donaupark as much as the wonderful Lobau area and the Prater with our very own Hash House the Gösser Bierinsel gives the World's Worst a wealth of opportunities to choose locations from. And these are just places within the Vienna city limits. What I am trying to say is: If you have booked to come to Eurohash in July you will get your money's worth. Vindobona and its surroundings are fantastic places to run and party. 

Es wird ein Wein sein!

Tuesday, 4 April 2017

No big mysteries

Eurohash minus 94 days. Spring has arrived in full splendour and it certainly is most lovely to be able to wear shorts and shades again. The Eastermarkets in the city centre have opened up their stalls again (allowing one for the occasional dwink) and last Sundays run was O Sodomia's out in Eichgraben, somewhere west of Vindobona.

Following a road called the Dreiwasserstraße there was a tiny car park literally just coming out of a raulway underpass and a few of us squeezed their automobiles next to one another, well I confess, I wanted to block at least two spaces with our Hashmobile when Slush Puppie asked me kindly to park the car "orschlings" (look that term up if you can find it) so others could park next to us.

I assume that the Hare lives out there somewhere, given that she really seemed to know what she was doing directionwise ;-)  One was pleasanltly surprised to run along a coherent trail where  the general direction was a steady one uphill (and, of course, back downhill again towards the end). With the usual suspects Tonto, Justin Beaver, Pussy Schumi, Tickpleaser, Free Willie and FRBimbo Casting Couch there was no chance to shine as a Front Runner (no competition here), the thing I really enjoyed was the pleasant forest area, even with the adjacent motorway A1. With the first line and the double line after checkpoints often being several hundred metres apart (no kidding here) there was nothing left but to run and earn the beer after the run. Talking about which, the way back to the cars was leading through the short railway underpass again when THUMP a sound of bad car parking  could be heard.

THUMP at the end of the tunnel

What had happened? MOM, as well as a few others wanted to park his vehicle nearer to all the other ones, yet when he easily found a place to park he obviously missed the sight of Joysticks mobile behind his own one and the result was THUMP and the noise was much louder than the scratch that this minor collision caused.   And yes, there were some snivelers who whined about the ticks they brought home after the event.

Reconnaisance of trails for the Eurohash is underway, as I could tell from a special Down Down that had been awared to all those we were out in the fields already. The route that our group of four had reccied the day before the run looks promising, more about that in one of the next postings.


Monday, 20 March 2017

Beers to you

Eurohash minus 110 days. This post is dedicated to a couple of legendary Schweizerhaus alumni, namely Minuteman (went back to Tennesse) and Se* o Phone (now lives in Brisbane) Before we knew it March 15 was here again. Since the first 10 weeks of 2017 have been a complex time for various reasons the small group of the true stalwarts (which are bascially Cardinal Munk, OVH and myself) were much looking forward to the first warm-up beers at the Englische Reiter before the gates to Beer Elysium of the day were finally opened at 11 a.m.

Time always flies in the company of a beery group, this time consisting of MOM (always there), Dodgy Condom, NoBalls Prize and St.Norman (OVH). Instead of trying to describe a Happy Drinking Day with friends and always making new ones, here are some pics from the day.

We're trying to call up Se* o Phone in Brisbane, okay?

Gary Indiana!

The Tower of Babel

Sunday, 12 March 2017

Listening with me

Eurohash minus 117 days. Another year, another Ski Week Solidarity Run. Last year CoHare Cardinal Munk, OVH and I started the trail from the Karlskirche so this time we started from the alternating location which is the Votivkirche. Since we the Hares start to feel our age a bit we decided (but you must not know!) to move the head start forward to 18:30 in order to allow for a slow walk through the neighbourhood. The inside of the Alte AKH (Innenhöfe, now a Vienna University Campus), where they have their annual Christmas Market, the Stieglambulanz and the Bierheurigen Gangl as well as quite a few other shops  is always a pleasure to run through.

Getting out of the Altes AKH and onto the Lazarettgasse is getting one onto the vast area of the Allgemeine Krankenhaus, a labyrinth for me and an amazing place in the evening hours, with spots tastefully painting patterns of light on the walls of old and sometimes unused old pavillons (which resemble those in Lainz tremendously). Another three corners and getting by the Vienna Rathaus (with that strange attratction called the Wiener Eistraum still up and running) and it was on back to where we started from. A mere five minutes after CoHare Cardinal Munk, OVH and I sat down to enjoy our soft drinks the runners already arrived, namely Mind the Gap, Casting Couch and Slush Puppie. (Followed by more Ski Week Solidarity Stalwarts Lord Glo-Balls - OVH, Lucky Me, Root CAnal, Chucker F*ucker and Just Anne).

Fancy looking Shirts were being sold, roses for the Harriettes were handed out and after a short circle the evening was concluded at the Stiegl Ambulanz. Thanks to all attendees for keeping this tradition up and running.


Sunday, 5 March 2017

From one pole to another

Eurohash minus 124 days.An endearing tradition of the World's worst is without doubt the Blue Moon Hash, held annualy on the preceding evening of Ski Week Start. As far as I can rememtber the run always started from the Volkertplatz (where the once was a real dump in terms of an old-fashioned Gasthaus (now replaced by something looking more modern).

The objective of the "run" (casual walk would be more like it), again as always, was to have couple of drink stops in two local houses of ill repute. (That also brings back memories of stories that an Ozzie Hasher told me in Warsaw 30 years ago about those dirt road Hashes in Southeast Asia). To me at at least the whole thing, being attented by three dozen hounds, was something like three times around the block (down to the Nordbahnstraße) and straight into the first such house that feature purple wallpaper, thick smoke and a few bored-looking females (I assume their real customers arrive much later). Within no time everybody received their much welcome drinks (and some red wine even for some very special ladies) and, to the exaltation of a few special gentlemen (Richard Kopf) a dancer came forward to present her skills on the dancepole. 


All said, done and danced it was on off to the second such house (the Kerstin Bar somewhere in the second district), a place that looked inviting but for some strange reasons all the Harriettes were denied entrance so there was no choice but to leave and look for the next best thing (which was a somehow deflated beerstop in a house of healthy repute - a normal Gasthaus). On back to the starting point and in no time the circle started. Me and S.Energy did not stay long enough to clock the arrival time of the local law enforcement agents, they usually arrive within ten minutes due to loudness level violation complaints. On out.

Monday, 27 February 2017

You got to walk that lonesome Valley

Eurohash minus 131 days. Reminiscing about runs in the past up on the Gießhübl I hold fond memories about the Millenium Bug run way back in 1999 (you can still find the old writeup somewhere -> none of us are getting any younger -< ) and another run from January 2005 where the unforgettable Minute Man presented me with special souvenirs from one of his trips to Japan and a visit to one of those 100 Yen Stores. (Explaining pic to follow).

CoHare TwoBob and yours truly set out with no real concept apart from vague memories of that run in late 1999. The Snow and cold have thankfully retreated (just the wind felt a bit chilly) and a very nice group of 30 hounds found their way up to the carpark where even Richard Kopf gave in and paid the obligatory fee of 4 Euros for 6 hours of parking. Speaking of free parking (being of Scottish origin Richard Kopf sent me a text message trying to avoid the payment), the free parking outside absentee Tickpleasers house a a bit further down the hill was that little bit too far away to use.

With returnees Scarlett Pimpernell, The Famous Pimpsqueal and Double Oh Seven (GREAT Chinese army coat!) amongst the fold it was on down the hill for a bit (with some passing through the thick underwood) until there was a drinkstop (pure water only) at the Schneerosenbründl, lovely place.

Kann Ihm jemand das Wasser reichen? / Can someone hold a candle to My Pint?

Further on and after a check for quite a while uphill, a path that made Fallen Angel grouch we reached the Höhenstraße again (the main path through the forest is called just like that remarkable road within Viennese city limits which leads to the Grüß-Di-A-Gott Wirt) the last part of trail led by a huge local stone pit and eventually up a glorious hill with magnificent views and a compulsory Song Stop, with a rousing renditon of The Good Ship Venus. On After at the nearby Bärenhütte Gasthaus, a place to be recommended.

A bench in the park!

Sunday, 12 February 2017

This is what we're here for

I just learned that Al Jarreau has passed. RIP and thanks for the music. This song covers some of the core and the deepest meaning. This is what life is all about.

Mystic Voyage

Eurohash minus 145 days. Another bit of Ostrich history, preceded by an important day of Hash History to remember. The Ostrich historic occurence happened just four years before the Mother Hash got started in KL in 1938. Looking up an old blogpost from 2010 shows a reused location that probably no-one remembers anymore. Except for the main Hare Casting Couch (with CoHare TwoBob) and yours truly, that is. Nothing had changed over the past seven years in the mystic village of Hafnerberg (and why, anyway?) apart for a bit milder temperatures (-1 degree Celsius) and a little less snow. Lots of lovely blank ice made up for that in plenty and made Richard Kopf ("I got lost and found an alternative fact - I mean way - back to the carpark!") and Nail Me turn round and avoid lots of slip sliding away. You're realizing that you're no further away from the city centre of Vienna than some 40 or 50 kilometres and you're coming across these godforsaken places, even a Rin Tin Tin impersonation came along out of nowhere, a lovely long haired dog accompanied the Hounds, especially O Sodomia and her doggie for a bit. The only thing I was missing were the tumbling tumbleweeds.

Tumbling along with the tumbling Tumbleweeds

At first it was downhill for an icy bit, then further on a longish flat way through depressive-looking winterland and then a long way on uphill again (Weitwanderweg to Hafnerberg) and towards the end downhill again alongside the stations of the cross back to the cars (I only slid out thrice close to the carpark). A pleasant not-too-long circle in the cold, featuring returnees the Famous Pimpsqeuak and Scarlett Pimpernell concuded the proceedings. All the best from this point to our great and glorious Grand Meister who had to undergo urgent medical treatment. And lastly, greetings to our friends from the Zagreb Hash who held their annual winter weekend over the last three days.

Monday, 30 January 2017

Six Cold Feet of Ground

Eurohash minus 159 days. Outside temperature minus 8 degrees Celsius, the longest uninterrupted cold period in Vienna in 30 years they said. The thing here in Vindobona very often in winter is weeks and weeks of high fog hanging in the air, which freezes anything on the ground and the classic inversion weather presumbaly makes skiing up the hills a pleasure. But I am not a skier. This is probably why I came up the Ski Week Solidarity Hash all those years ago. Lonesome Cowboy (another old faithful) invented the term "Solidarity run" and Mind the Gap crafted those golden words that "it ain't fair to be excluded from a run just 'cos you ain't gone skiing". The next edition of the Ski Week Solidarity run will take place on 8th of March. Be there and abstain from the Ski Week. Just this one time (of course I am just kdding here :-) .

Speaking of Mind the Gap, as a Hash Lash with time on his hands and no-one willing and able to set a run he revisited a popular location again which is the Strebersdorfer Friedhof behind the Bisamberg, with lots of Heurigens and lovely Kellergassen. Whenever there is a run out there I envision this must be how Vindobona might have looked like, in the so called old days. Just 14 brave ones made their way and after the usual short pre-run explanations it was off up the hill and into the vineyards. Up the Senderstraße passing by the Hash carpark where Richard Kopf ran his automobile over the Hashshit Trophy the Se* Energy and I gloriously had stolen from the Paris Hash (all this happened a long long time ago) it was on to cobblestone and lots of ice. I took the very slippy way downhill easy and enjoyed a nice chat with Slush Puppie. Cardinal Munk, OVH met his old partner from his so-called "Eat and Run club" by sheer coincidence and thankfully the circle lasted shorter than usual. No whimps here, yet it was really chilly.

Today marks an important date in Austrian History if you're interested in these things. Kisspeptin had also been on the news radar recently, then there was this mention about high tech toilets in the Far East, and a hermitage somewhere in Salzburg looking for a new tennant.

All this happened after a month that saw several passings, various illnesses, the usual silly amount of workload and the initially mentioned bad weather. But at least they're having a Heatwave down under, n'est pas, Se*-o-Phone and Mindphuck?

Learn to do the strut

January Cold. Huge pots of steaming and tasty Chili. Schnaps (Kirschwasser) during the run. What seems to have become a tradition up at the Tirolerhof over the last years in early January had been carried out again. 200 vertical metres in the southern area of Vienna make all the difference and so sufficient snow was ensured on the run, in stark contrast to several mudbaths in previous years. The main aim was to get to the promised Schnapsstop and down the hill again without slding out, I was carrying an upcoming flu infection with me that grounded me for the better part of the following week. But kudos to the generous hosts for allowing a seemingly chaotic supper to happen every year. Have I mentioned the tasty Chili?

Those pots of Chili smelled a lot better

Nicer doggies(?) or trendier jumper?

Sunday, 8 January 2017

We shall go on to the end

Eurohash minus 180 days. (I shall try to start all blog posts leading up to that event with a countdown.)
So this is the last evening of the Christmas Holidays (I hope yours was a real good one) and tomorrow it is back to le grind. On Epiphany 15 years ago and following an idea by my beloved wife we started a Non-Hash walk on January 6 each year. In the south of Vienna where we live we are fortunate enough to have plenty of forest paths, hills (the Anninger being the highest with a bit more than 670 metres high) and and an abundance of Heurigens to rest our weary bones after some hours of introspective walking.

20 stalwarts (including 6 kids) did not mind neither the clime of -6 degrees nor the wind, starting from Pfaffstätten we made our way uphill through the vineyards and steadily further uphill. I wanted to visit the Gumpoldskirchner Veiglhütte, unfortunately this establishment was still in hibernation.  The following way uphill to the Annninger Schutzhaus was a comfortable one and Lady Luck smiled on us when there was a whole room with more than enough seats waiting for us. Perfect service, good food and drinks and one decent walk back downhill through the Siebenbrunnengraben brought us  back into Pfaffstätten before Darkness was setting in. Spontaneous On After at the very old-fashioned Heurigen Schwarz.

Look up the chapter about this Hash Chapters active social life (Eurohash/News/Who are Vindobona H3?) Come along and be part of it.

Vindobona Hashers on a Non Hash Tour

Sunday, 1 January 2017

Prosit Neujahr

I sure liked todays New Years Day Concert by the Wiener Philharmoniker, traditionally watching from home with a glass of sparkling wine in my hand. Having said that, many Ostriches are fond of skiing. I do not belong to them. Music is certainly more up my sleeve. For a very long time now I have been fortunate enough to be able to watch and listen to the Wiener Philharmoniker with subscriptions that include 10 concerts annually, standing room for a single ticket price that equals a pint of Guinness in nearby Flanagans Irish Pub. Standing room ticket means standing for up to two hours in a crowded surrounding. But, I am talking about sometimes exceptional performances.  Classical music is not really your cup of tea I hear you say? The very first piece I heard live way back in 2003 featured electric bass and congas. It all comes together. There should be no clichés. Either it sounds good or it sounds bad to your ears, no matter what the labelling says.

Can we pull this off?

But that is not the main topic of this post. Again, while awaiting the official Moronic (they have duly arrived now) pics from yesterdays Red Dress run (?) with some 20 partakers amongst the 4500 official runners at the LCC Silversterlauf the old Hash routine of "cling yourself to the climbing rope and pretend to run even if you can't" applied again, with the same embarrasing result as during the last 5 or 6 years. Meaning that an unfortunate few that included yours truly, Barefoot (lots of sarcastic wit during the run) and Primadonna tried to pull the rope with the pack as hard as we could in the forward direction with Richard Kopf (and a few more) being the main culprit who put in all his weight as Religious Advisor to pull against us. This must have looked quite funny for bystanders as we were a) outpaced by stout-looking females with their walking sticks and b) we had to try VERY HARD to overtake baby prams with their parents in comfortable walking pace. And all this accompanied by constant RA requests like "NOT SO FAST" HOLD IT", would we have done so the red caravan would have come to a standstill. Ice Queen, Slush Puppie and The Blessed Saint Norman, OVH jumped ship and ran off on their own. My strong plea herewith is to devise a new system for the next Red Dress Run!


Things got much brighter eventually when we lost Richard Kopf/he lost the grip to the rope nearby Urania and we were free to entertain a light jogging speed towards the finish line. Circle outside Flanagans with tasty Bloody Marys courtesy of Cardinal Munk, OVH and OnIn inside at the Post Office. Visitors from Ireland and Newbies Just Flora and Just Florian from Vienna. Warm feeling as ever.

But, even hogs have their bad days, and, a fellow living in Tyrol invented a system to produce artificial snow coming out of your garden hose. And lastly, does Alcohol kill our brain cells?